I'd say this is all getting quite silly, if it had not passed the absurdity threshold millennia ago.
But here we are, 17 months, multiple federal court procedures and two bad courtroom sketches removed, and we remain quibbling over the Patriots' softening of balls.
And now, some baseball teams are doing it.
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In response to a Boston Red Sox affiliate announcing Tuesday that it plans to host a "Free Brady" promotional night at the park in June, the Buffalo Bison are having a "Keep Brady Suspended" night in July.
The team outlined the details of the double-header promotion on its website. Any fan who brings a "FULLY INFLATED" football to the park (for donation to local youth leagues) will get to capitalize on a buy-one, get-one ticket deal. Among other Brady-related promotions:
Buy-One, Get-one Free Tickets to anyone that brings a PROPERLY-INFLATED football to be donated to area youth football programs
Accepting UN-DESTROYED cell phone donations for 'Cell Phones for Soldiers' charity.
A 12.5% discount in the Bisons' gift shop for anyone that brings a
Tom Brady jersey/t-shirt to add to the postgame Fireworks Display. Help us remind Tom of the minimum amount of inflation for footballs,for you know...once he gets to play again
Scoreboard videos featuring some of sports' greatest cheaters,
with special video tribute to Patriots' coach, Bill Belichick
Additionally, if your name is "Tom" or "Brady," you will not be allowed to watch the first four innings of the Bisons double-header. I don't know
Some fans should be advised. If you are named 'Tom' or 'Brady,' you will be allowed entrance into Coca-Cola Field for 'Keep Brady Suspended' Night, but will not be allowed to watch the first four innings of game one of the doubleheader. Please, no appeals.
Give them aliases, Toms and Bradys. You are "Juan Sancho Ministrone: Duke of San Chrisotobal, Admiral of the Fleet Without End." And you will have your free ticket to the small baseball show.
Dan is on Twitter. His children's children will argue over the softness of footballs.