Golden Globes meet #MeToo but there were no profiles in courage

I watched the Golden Globe Awards Sunday night, against my better judgment.

It’s a poorly kept secret that the Golden Globes are a joke. Hollywood likes them because it’s a rare awards show that lets you sit at a table and drink.

The Golden Globes are handed out by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. No one knows who these people are, but no one takes them seriously. Certainly not since they named Pia Zadora New Star of the Year in 1981. (Never heard of her?  Exactly.)

But what promised to be interesting was the timing. This is the beginning of the awards season, and thus the first show to address all the sexual scandals that came to light in 2017 (and show no signs of abating in 2018).

This would certainly be different from last year’s theme “we hate Trump.” Of course there were still a number of cracks about the president, and some of them weren’t bad. Host Seth Meyers said “Hollywood Foreign Press” sounds like three words designed to infuriate Donald Trump. But still, the emphasis was on how women are speaking out.

In fact, the women who attended all wore black dresses as a form of protest. (Big deal. Men have been wearing all black for years.)

Earlier in the show, Seth Meyers suggested Oprah should run for the White House. After her speech, I don’t think she wants to be president. She wants to be Pope.

Mind you, I’m allergic to finger-wagging speeches. I’d prefer stars to accept awards graciously. It’s not enough celebrities are rich, famous and beloved, they also feel they have so much to teach us.

So there I sat, awaiting to see which winners would give us, in place of an acceptance speech, a lecture. (Actually, sounds like a pretty good drinking game).

I wasn’t disappointed. They handed out 26 awards and about half of the recipients made a political point.

Bruce Miller, producer of “The Handmaid’s Tale” — a show about a land where a theocracy has taken over — thanked everyone who would stop such a thing from happening. I guess he was referring to the protestors in Iran.

Frances McDormand, who won an acting award for “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri“ happily noted the Hollywood Foreign Press Association elected a woman as their president. Then she stated she keeps her politics private. Could have fooled me.

By the way, the HFPA named Dwayne Johnson’s daughter Simone the official Golden Globes Ambassador. How sweet. (If you think I’m going to pick a fight with The Rock, you’re nuts.)

Perhaps the most shocking moment came when Alexander Skarsgard won for his acting in “Big Little Lies.” He played a wife beater in a show about women’s solidarity and the need to speak out. And he didn’t bring up politics at all. He just showed his gratitude. How strange. 

Maybe he thought it was better to let the work speak for itself. Imagine that.

But everyone agrees the big moment came when Oprah Winfrey got the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award.

She was introduced by Reese Witherspoon, who gave a speech about how Oprah is the most amazing woman in the world, followed by a short film, narrated by Reese Witherspoon, about how Oprah is the most amazing woman in the world.

Then out came Oprah, to a standing ovation. She’d get a couple more during a speech that was more revival meeting than awards show. She spoke at some length about how things are changing and a new day is on the horizon. I’m not saying I disagree, but I thought the Cecil B. DeMille Award is supposed to be about “outstanding contributions to the world of entertainment.”

Earlier in the show, Seth Meyers suggested Oprah should run for the White House. After her speech, I don’t think she wants to be president. She wants to be Pope.

Anyway, that was pretty much the show. A lot of talented people in good movies and TV shows won Golden Globes. I look forward to the Oscars and Emmys when they can win awards that actually matter.

Steve Kurtz is a producer for the Fox News Channel, and author of "Steve’s America (the perfect gift for people named Steve)".