Well, folks. I’ve gone off and done it.
I’ve managed to create the most politically incorrect Christmas show in America. My two-hour Fox Radio extravaganza declares that Jesus is the reason for the season – loud and proud.
“The Todd Starnes Christmas Show” will air on hundreds of radio stations around the nation and FoxNews.com has a broadcast version which you can watch here.
The show includes a Living Nativity, flying angels, shepherds and the Christmas story – delivered directly from the New Testament at Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis, Tennessee.
We also have a stage full of line dancing Santa Clauses, celebrity singers like Jason Crabb, Meredith Andrews and the Mylon Hayes Family.
Oh, and there’s a massive Christmas tree filled singing young people. You have to watch the video to truly appreciate the magnitude of 140,000 sparkling lights. It makes the Rockefeller Christmas Tree look like that scrawny Charlie Brown tree.
As you can tell, my show has high concentrations of cultural appropriation that could cause severe microaggressions among some millennials and free-thinkers. I posted a warning at the beginning of the program urging fragile snowflakes to seek shelter in a safe space until after the angels have harkened the herald.
It's beyond reason that a season celebrating peace on earth is so despised by secular humanists. Before grandpa can swipe the last piece of pumpkin pie, the atheists and agnostics and free-thinkers are waging battles over Santa Claus and reindeer, candy canes and Christmas Choirs.
This year, schools took issue with “A Christmas Carol” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and one university published a screed urging people to host “all-inclusive” holiday parties.
Meanwhile, the atheists and agnostics doubled down on their efforts to eradicate town square Nativities from sea to shining sea. And don’t even get me started with the Satanists.
The motley crew of godless Grinches have shown no mercy to either the sacred or the secular.
But when it comes to protesting the holy days of other religions, the atheists and agnostics and Satanists are curiously quiet. I don’t seem to recall the Satanists posting a Satanic pentagram outside a mosque.
Some call it a war on Christmas -- but it goes much deeper than just hating a holiday. It's a war on the very foundation of our nation -- the essence of who we are as a people.
We are one nation under God.
A God who sent his son to be born in the city of David -- a savior -- who is Christ the Lord. That is what Christmas is all about -- and that is why the secular humanists so despise this Yuletide season.
Todd Starnes is host of Fox News & Commentary. His latest book is “The Deplorables’ Guide to Making America Great Again.” Follow him on Twitter @ToddStarnes and find him on Facebook.