By Greg Gutfeld
Published May 29, 2019
The weird thing about the Democratic candidates for president is that they’re weird.
For example, former Democratic Rep. Beto O’Rourke of Texas told his campaign staff after losing his Senate race to Republican Sen. Ted Cruz last year: “I just feel very, very lucky, and I love you guys more than you’ll ever know. And I know I was a giant a------ to be around sometimes, and you all never allowed my shortcomings to get in the way of running the best campaign this state has ever seen.”
His every appearance should be treated like a drug commercial. Run a list of side effects that include nausea and diarrhea.
Here's another example, a video showing Mayor Pete Buttigieg of South Bend, Ind., running through a neighborhood during a Memorial Day Parade and saying hello to people he passes.
What the hell is he doing? I still have no idea what he's done as mayor. But at least I know that he can run fully clothed!
And there's the world’s worst mayor, Bill de Blasio. He’s currently multitasking – running for president and running New York City. Tripling the number of teens released from jail with no bail, for crimes like armed robbery and assault. Now he's gunning for you, America!
But the leader of the pack? Where's he at?
Biden is hidin' – a "less you see the better" strategy based on the Hillary Clinton formula. And that really worked for her!
It’s the opposite of President Trump, who happily owns the spotlight – gaffes and all. He'll never fake a run, apologize for being an a-hole. Instead, he'll turn it into pure entertainment.
After criticizing former Vice President Joe Biden in Japan and agreeing with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s negative assessment of Biden, the president didn't apologize. Instead, he tweeted: “I was actually sticking up for Sleepy Joe Biden while on foreign soil. Kim Jong Un called him a ‘low IQ idiot,’ and many other things, whereas I related the quote of Chairman Kim as a much softer ‘low IQ individual.’ Who could possibly be upset with that?”
I got to hand it to him. No one does that.
Now, it’s still a long road to the White House. But if you think hiding your top contender is how you get to the White House, then maybe rethink your top contender. Because sooner or later, you're going to have to face the orange monster. And even at rest he's more fun.
Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on May 29, 2019.