This is a rush transcript from "The Five," July 30, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Hi, I'm Greg Gutfeld with Emily Compagno, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and a blueberry is her beach ball, Dana Perino. "The Five."
There's an old saying in media, if you don't have something nice to say, you'll do great. Luckily the press has Trump, so they never have anything nice to say. Eventually, this starts to become a problem.
Since Trump got elected, doctors are seeing patients suffering from Trump Anxiety Disorder or TAD. The symptoms of TAD? Feeling like the world is ending. I wonder why?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)
JOE SCARBOROUGH, CO-HOST, "MORNING JOE"/MSNBC: Donald Trump and his erratic behavior could be leading the United States towards World War III.
JOY BEHAR, CO-HOST, "THE VIEW"/ABC: We're talking about annihilating millions of people.
UNINDENTIFIED MALE, MSNBC: If this border wall happens it will be an unprecedented environmental catastrophe.
JOHN AVLON, CNN POLITICAL ANALYST: We can't begin to normalize this. This is dangerous. This is childish. This is un-presidential.
TREVOR NOAH, HOST, "THE DAILY SHOW"/COMEDY CENTRAL: This is it, the end of the presidential race and it feels like the end of the world.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No!
(END VIDEO CLIPS)
GUTFELD: Never gets old.
But that's why you really can't mock the ill, when there's a whole industry selling them this kind of terror. As their go-to evil, the media has replaced climate change with Trump change. Everything bad in this world is now due to Trump, even as life improves.
We've never been in a better spot with North Korea, GDP is going up, unemployment keeps shrinking. Optimism is higher than Willie Nelson.
Yet if you listen to the other guys, the sky isn't just falling, it's already fallen and it can get up. It needs Life Alert.
But as much as the chicken littles hate Trump, where would they be without him?
Trump's election created a need that we didn't know we've had. The media has never been louder, celebrities have never been shoutier, academia has never been more strident.
So haters, imagine if Trump were to disappear? How large a hole will there be in the lives of CNN and "Morning Joe" and Chelsea Handler? You think these people suffer from Trump anxiety? Wait until you see Trump withdrawal.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, "KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS"/E!)
KIM KARDASHIAN: I wasted everyone's time. Everyone -- everything and I feel bad. You don't think I feel bad?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I know that.
You can't go back after Donald. He's added something to politics that we haven't seen, which is speed -- not the drug, the energy. It's the first time in eight years so many in the media are sweating. Anxiety isn't from the apocalypse. It's from trying to keep up.
All right, let's introduce. We have a new face here as a guest. Emily, welcome to the show. I know you've been on Jesse's program, but other quality shows, like mine. But I just thought maybe you say -- tell us a little bit about yourself.
EMILY COMPAGNO, GUEST CO-HOST: Yeah, thank you. So, first of all, thank you for having me here today. I'm really excited to be here, so thank you for that. And a little bit about myself, I'm a 12-year attorney and I still practice. I'm licensed in California and Washington. But the majority of my career was spent with the federal government and criminal law as well. And I've had the additional pleasure of cheering in the NFL while I was an attorney for the Oakland Raiders. And I went on a USO tour throughout Kuwait and Iraq visiting troops.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: That's so cool.
COMPAGNO: . that really does remain, to this day, my greatest honor. There's me in one of the black hawks we flew around in which is an awesome way to travel. Oh, that's my.
PERINO: I like that.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: You're doing so well.
(LAUGHTER)
COMPAGNO: And he chased a squirrel, right after that picture, by the way with that hat on. It's ridiculous. And this is my car. I drive a '72 Mach One, and Greg was telling me about his car before this show but I'm pretty sure my engine is bigger.
GUTFELD: I think your engine is bigger. That's beautiful. Ah, '72, right?
COMPAGNO: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: Yes, I have.
PERINO: Do you drive that all around everywhere?
COMPAGNO: I did in California and Seattle. It's harder.
PERINO: Yeah. Does Seattle give you the stink eye when you drive around in that?
COMPAGNO: Berkeley, I got more, you know, negative looks. But I think in Seattle, I just.
PERINO: Beautiful car.
GUTFELD: Yeah, you just run over those Prius', that's what I would do. What do you make of this whole idea of anxiety? Could this be a massive class action lawsuit against Trump?
COMPAGNO: Well, they could certainly try, right? We saw the class action suit about caffeine and coffee in California. But I just feel like it's one more thing where the reality is that people want to be outraged or affected rather than informed, right? The whole thing is ridiculous. And we're seeing now that this -- to me, also, it's another oversimplification of the matter. Oh, I have this Trump anxiety syndrome, and so that must mean X, Y, and Z. Well, what is that the root of, right? Fear and fright is usually from lack of education. So, if we could talk about things more engaged and indicial manner, people probably wouldn't be so frightened of positive news coming out of the administration.
GUTFELD: You know, Juan, to paraphrase a stoic, if you're offended, you're complicit in the outrage. Got that from our producer.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: That was good.
GUTFELD: Yeah, very good. So, it means, it's like Donald's isn't really making you sick. It's -- you're letting him get you sick, right? It's like you have to learn how to manage the emotions and turn it into something productive, correct?
WILLIAMS: Is that right? Because I think Donald plays on emotions every day. I mean, he plays on the fear factor. He likes to stir up his base with fear. He likes to mock people and intimidate people. But here's the thing, you can even make fun of Trump derangement syndrome.
GUTFELD: Right.
WILLIAMS: But I think that -- look at it from the Democrats point of view, Greg. That's -- the base is anti-Trump and energized to turn out in the midterms. And all the numbers right now are flowing towards the Democrats because the Democratic base is so energized.
GUTFELD: Right.
WILLIAMS: They are upset about Trump.
GUTFELD: Deranged.
WILLIAMS: You say why things are going so great. Hey, people look around and say, you know what, this country is in a place I've never seen it before. I don't even recognize it in some cases, and they're outraged.
GUTFELD: But that's a -- again, a psychological problem.
WILLIAMS: Why? You can't just speak the truth?
GUTFELD: Well, no, it's psychological. I mean, if you look at the job numbers and the economy, those are real -- you know, real progress. You're talking about the real serious psychological problems. People think there's something wrong when there's something good going on.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, look at the taxes. Oh, gees. We're going to give a tax cut to the working men of Americana and it goes to nobody but the rich.
JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: Fake news, Juan.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: Check with the rich.
WATTERS: I think what happen is Trump was elected not to bring continuity, and to not, you know, guide the country along the path it was going. Donald Trump was elected to grab America by the back of the neck and then yank it from off the edge of the cliff. For some people that's very thrilling.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
WATTERS: And for some people that's incredibly jarring. And I think those people are mentally weak. I mean, we had generations had stormed the beaches, and now they're crying in the streets. So, I think it's because the media is so negative, and the media is constantly saying the sky is falling, and people can't process that. It's also because Trump is constantly battling everybody. He's taking down institutions. He's fighting with people. He's on twitter. And we've never had a president like that before and people can't process that. And then, three, people are frustrated because they haven't been able to take him down. They've thrown everything at this guy and he's still at 45 to 46 percent. And for them, that's incredibly frustrating and they need to see a shrink.
GUTFELD: You know, Dana, let's say you are the shrink.
PERINO: OK.
GUTFELD: And I come in and I go I have all this anxiety over Donald Trump. He's driving me crazy. What kind of advised would you give me?
PERINO: All right. I would say it depends -- are you an action oriented person or you're somebody who need to just turn off the TV and turn off twitter? I know people that are just like I don't like to watch the news anymore. It's too negative. Or especially if it was violent, you know, they don't want to watch that. So you do have a choice. You know it's been the serenity prayer, you ask for wisdom for the things you cannot change and the courage to know the difference and the things that you can't. And so, I think that -- the other thing is, and I do think the Democrats have done this at large extent, and so have Trump supporters, which is channel that energy into something else. Run for office, donate, decide to turn something into action so that you can actually get involved. If you feel like you're more involved and you're actually being able to do something on either side, then you can deal with your anxiety better. But more is probably, I think, getting on twitter is probably good.
GUTFELD: I do think there's something -- to what Jesse said, Emily, which is like -- I think the stress, actually, is real and it's not -- it's has to do with time compression. The fact that because Trump has packed like five incidents into one day it's like you'll be a politician with something controversial once a week, but it seems like he just -- it's like to him news is shuffleboard, like if there's a news item, he'll hit that one out with another news item. So we are just constantly racing and racing, and I can kind of see where that gets exhausting, even for us.
WATTERS: Yeah.
COMPAGNO: Well, sure. The rapidity of the media cycle can certainly be exhausting. But, also, I feel like part of the issue is focusing on that fright and the fear of what hasn't happened yet. And we're ignoring then to our detriment the negatives that still aren't face. So, you know, we're just talking about California. Well, that still has the highest poverty rate if you take into account cost of living. And yet we have 125, approximately, billionaires living in that state.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
COMPAGNO: . with $500 billion-plus among them. And then, L.A. County just leveraged, what, you know, $430 million worth of debt to combat the homeless problem that is growing by the day. So, it's almost a shell game where we are focused on what this media, on the headlights, the oversimplification, and then ignoring what really needs our attention.
GUTFELD: I'm stealing those stats when I do Tucker later.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: Juan, the media and Hollywood shares some responsible for this, I think, because they're the ones that are keeping it at a doomsday level, and they're going to fork out millions. Now, a lot of people in Hollywood are going to fork out millions in the midterms, obviously, with the hope to win both houses and impeach. Is that the realistic goal, you think?
WILLIAMS: No. But I think -- I think, realistically, they have a shot at the house if that's what you're asking. But, you know, I'm struck by this conversation because to me, you say it's the Hollywood elite, it's the media, it's everybody but Donald Trump. But I think if I'm anxious, if the American people are anxious, and according to what I saw.
GUTFELD: I agree with you.
WILLIAMS: They are more anxious. Apparently you can measure this, right? And they are more anxious. But what about Donald Trump's repeated lies? What about the idea he stands next to Putin like a submissive puppy and says, oh, I believe Putin, not the Americans. Wait a second, what side is this guy on? I thought he was our president.
WATTERS: Well, I don't know. I think people are more resilient on the right than people on the left. During the Obama administration, there is, you know, racial riots, there was a lot of domestic terror attacks, there are gas price spikes, there was premium spike with the healthcare situation. There was a lot of uncertainty and volatility during that time. Conservatives didn't rush to see a shrink. You know what they did? They had a drink and went to work the next day.
GUTFELD: So they created the tea party.
WATTERS: And they translated that into votes.
PERINO: And there was ISIS, remember?
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: That was a little bit of anxiety producing, and you're worried about the future of the world. The other thing I would say is part of this is that the celebrities in Hollywood have said they're going to be more engaged now than ever.
GUTFELD: You're right.
PERINO: The thing is that the president -- yes, for President Trump, he does better if he has someone or something to work against. So, I actually think if Hollywood really wanted to help the Democrats, it would be better just to sit back, write checks, and register new voters rather than giving him something to run against.
GUTFELD: That's what Clooney -- Clooney say he wouldn't hang around Obama because he didn't want to tarnish Obama with the Hollywood, you know, stench.
PERINO: They just met behind closed doors.
GUTFELD: Exactly. All right, President Trump and his legal team launched a new wave of attacks against Robert Mueller and Michael Cohen. The war of words, that's next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WATTERS: President Trump ramping up his attacks on what he calls the rigged witch hunt, and his legal team is now saying there's no chance Trump is going to sit down for an interview with the special counsel. Rudy Giuliani making the rounds on TV today, though, going after Robert Mueller and Trump's former lawyer, Michael Cohen. Here are some of the highlights.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RUDY GIULIANI, PRESIDENT TRUMP'S ATTORNEY: My client didn't do it. Even if he did, it's not a crime. And I've said that over and over. Collusion is not a crime. No, on the sit down until we get -- we get exactly what they want to do. We'll advise the president -- he decides. And he's always leaned in favor of doing it. Right now, I'm telling him no way. We're not going to do it. They're interfering with the ability to govern. It's a horrible thing that Mueller is doing. You tell me a lawyer is taping his clients. I've got to say, sorry, I've made a mistake. The guy is unethical. He's a scumbag. He's a horrible person.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: All right. So, Greg, Rudy is off the leash today.
GUTFELD: He's off the leash and he's got a little dog in his jaws.
(LAUGHTER)
WATTERS: What do you make about the timing and the strategy behind turning loose Rudy?
GUTFELD: Well, it's interesting. It's like -- it's a mess that the more you clean it, the messier it gets. It's like Rudy's strategy is he sees this spill on the carpet and dumps a wheelbarrow of soup over it. But this is part of the package you get from Queens. Trump is from Queens. Nothing goes down without a fight. Nothing goes down without name calling. This isn't Brentwood, Bel Air, or Madison, Wisconsin. These are New Yorkers. You've got Giuliani, you've got Trump.
PERINO: And Michael Cohen.
GUTFELD: And Michael Cohen. I mean, this is the streets of New York and New Jersey. It's like -- we are now watching an ongoing episode of The Sopranos.
WILLIAMS: Wow.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: Did you mean that as a complement?
GUTFELD: Yes, I did. Because I don't believe -- I'm very skeptical of the attention that's being devoted to this. And so, I can't take it seriously. When the if's become ours, then I will take it seriously. Right now it's just background noise.
WILLIAMS: I'll give you some ours.
GUTFELD: OK.
WILLIAMS: So Giuliani said, this is just a few months ago.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
WILLIAMS: Cohen is an honest guy I trust.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
WILLIAMS: Now he says.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WILLIAMS: . this guy -- I don't even want to repeat what he just said. But, you know, he thinks he's a lowlife.
WATTERS: Because he taped the president.
WILLIAMS: No, no, on a host of issues here, Jesse. He thinks that the guy is a lowlife.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: He keeps changing his story. Greg, would you want Rudy representing you?
GUTFELD: Juan, this is how life works. Somebody is your lowlife until they're no longer your lowlife. Then they're just a lowlife. But everybody -- yeah, he's my jerk. He's a jerk, but he's my jerk. That's how they look at lawyers. There's no -- sorry, Emily.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: She just looked at me like.
WILLIAMS: Take it easy. This is full combat. MMA of debates.
WATTERS: As a lawyer, what do you think about this? Do you think it's just a P.R. game that they're playing and trying to discredit the Mueller investigation by saying all of these things were happening? He stacked the deck with a lot of Democratic lawyers. Mueller has a conflict. I'm not going to be treated fairly. So when the investigation does come to a conclusion, there's a lot of doubt in the air.
COMPAGNO: That's absolutely one argument for sure, but there's also been a lot of question as to -- well, is there even a strategy, right? And certainly what we saw today might be evidence that it's more of a reactionary one even though it's always trying to get in front of the new cycle, in front of the statement to put out there with the narrative should be and that's partly, for example, this -- you know, should he sit down with Mueller, should he not. Well, that's in part the strategy behind that would be to help frame that sculpted frame then that narrative, but, obviously, has a lot more potential for detriment than not. And I think if I could throw in my two cents about Cohen, you know, obviously, everyone keeps repeating, well, it's a one party consent state in New York, sure. His lawyer says, well, he recorded all of his conversations because it replaced him taking notes, right?
And because there's so many -- there's almost 200, that speaks to that, but you still have a duty of confidentiality to your client, which is a broader duty than privilege, for example. So, you never release it and you never - - you essentially vow not to do harm to your client with their confidence they've given you. And they also begged the question so the privilege was waived by that tape and I think that was a smart move because, A, the conversation doesn't continue about, well, there must be something in that tape and there must be something recorded that's nefarious. And also, because it takes out the fight the government could have argued, A, it is privilege, or, B, then there's a crime fraud exception. So, I certainly think that was wise, but I also think that this, either purposeful or not strategy of being mired in the details, it's a little bit taking us away from the bigger picture.
WILLIAMS: Well, Giuliani says he wants now all the tapes to be heard. He thinks it helps the president if all the tapes are heard. But I've got to think as I'm sitting here, you know, people -- Giuliana comes out and, for example, he says, yes, we paid off Stormy -- oh, the president knew about that. Now we learn the president knew about Karen McDougal and that thing. You think is he helping this president?
WATTERS: I just think it's less about the Cohen thing and it's more about Mueller. And now we believe the Mueller thing, if we are to believe Rudy Giuliani, may conclude around September, and the president doesn't want to talk to him it looks like at this point.
PERINO: Well, no, that's not what they said. Rudy Giuliani says he does not want his client to talk to him, but that the president still has always maintained that he wants to talk to him, but all of his advisors are saying no. And now, Rudy Giuliani is a hard pass, like not going to happen. I also feel like Mueller might be about -- I don't know -- completely wrapping up, but it feels to me like every time we get to this sort of ramped up rhetoric.
WATTERS: Something else.
PERINO: . something is coming. And it might be another indictment that you might see, you know, soon. I'm not going to say what I think maybe could happen, I don't know.
WATTERS: Oh, Dana, now you have to say it.
PERINO: Not going to say it. But here's the other thing about Cohen, this is what's really gross, -- what he used to do is -- let's say that he -- you would say, oh, you mind if I tape this? And I'm like, OK, I won't tape it anymore. Pushed it off and put it under -- and he had another device that was recording you the entire time. So, I think, that if you want to be sympathetic towards somebody, like, even President Trump, if you don't like him, like that is pretty underhanded for -- of what you were just saying, Emily, like for a lawyer to do that.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: Also remember, why did the southern district of New York go to his hotel room, knock on the door and say we've got to get all these stuff, because they have a tip that he was about to destroy evidence. And I imagine that the tapes were probably on the list.
GUTFELD: But Cohen.
WATTERS: At least he didn't deleted all those emails.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: I don't think Cohen was hired for his credibility, do you think?
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: Everybody has got to have a fixer.
WATTERS: That's right. You know what? Emily is a fixer. Up next, President Trump making a major threat against the Democrats who don't want to build the wall. Wait until you hear this.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: It's border wall or bust for President Trump. He's now doubling down on his threat to shut down the federal government if Democrats don't agree to fund his wall.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: As far as the border is concerned and, personally, if we don't get border security, after many, many years of talk within the United States, I would have no problem doing a shutdown.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: But some on the left not budging on the wall. Staunch anti- Trump critic, Representative Maxine Waters is launching this new attack on the president.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. MAXINE WATERS, D-CALIF.: This president is a bully, and he'll try to intimidate all of us. He's not going to shutdown anything. As a matter fact, people will remember that he said he was going to build this wall and he was going to make Mexico pay for the wall. They said they weren't going to pay for anything. Now he wants the American citizens to pay for this wall.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: Waters to Watters, answer? I thought Mexico was paying for this thing?
WATTERS: They still will. Just be patient, Juan.
WILLIAMS: OK.
WATTERS: And it's going to cost a lot of pesos because the wall will be built. It will be beautiful. But it looks like it's going to be built one step at a time.
WILLIAMS: Oh, is that it.
WATTERS: We've had a deal for 25 billion in an exchange for legalizing dreamers. Then we have the S-hole countries comment, and the shutdown- Schumer situation. They didn't want chain migration and lotto thrown in there, so it fell apart. I don't think the senate is going to do this because it takes 60 votes. They can get it through the house but not through the senate. And a shutdown during the middle of the fall, there's a whole hand grenade in there. You've got to confirm Cavanaugh. You've got to run for reelection. I don't even think McConnell wants the wall. He's not a wall guy. And I don't think Ryan wants his lasting, you know, swan song to be a government shutdown, you know, and then losing the house. So, I don't think it's going to happen. But, you know, if the Democrats take the house, I mean, they're not only not going to fund the wall, they're going to abolish ICE, so be careful.
WILLIAMS: Did you just say it's not going to happen?
WATTERS: I don't believe it's going to happen at this point right now.
WILLIAMS: OK.
WATTERS: But they're going to have to fund it small piecemeal.
WILLIAMS: So, Emily, so what you get is a situation where Majority Leader Mitch McConnell says I'm not having a vote on this before the midterms, and Ron Johnson, head of homeland security, says it's a bad idea. And people in the house are saying, hey, we're Republicans but we're not into this. What do you make of it?
COMPAGNO: Well, I agree with Jesse, and I also -- I personally -- I really don't like the threat of a government shutdown or using that as a tool. First of all, we're not really getting much out of a lot people there anyway, and, secondly, you know, as a federal attorney, I was a managing attorney and an acting director, so I've handed out papers. And the amount of resources it takes to prepare for a furlough and execute on it and then have backup after, it is inordinate. And so, to me, it's just a tremendous hemorrhage, again, of those resources. And also, I feel like -- you know we've talked about this but the southern border issue, we cannot overstate or underestimate the power that -- of the corruption in Mexico, and the Central American countries, and the transnational drug cartels. Almost 150 politicians have been murdered in Mexico ramping up to their election, and then five since their election this month. And so, to men, again, if we could just have a little bit more dialogue I think from those border or the districts along the border by those reps, by those southern border senators and have a more engaging conversation in detail, then we can get out of that hyperbole, especially coming up to the midterm election. If we can have a collective, cohesive strategy on that with the facts at hand, those -- all those push factors, that would be way more fruitful than just this kind of volleying back and forth about it.
WILLIAMS: Dana, tell us about the politics here, because it sounds like Republicans think the politics are not good heading into the midterms.
PERINO: Well, they're not exactly sure. So remember, the Democrats started to shut down the government, and then they, you know, got -- they touched the hot stove and, like, "Oh, wait. Never mind." And there were all those embarrassing headlines, and the base -- the liberal base was very mad, saying, "Why aren't you going to fight?" And it's because they don't have anything to fight with. And the shutdown was just, like, a terrible idea. And President Trump absolutely won on that, and he was able to ride that for about eight weeks afterwards.
So -- but is it different for President Trump? If he's going to shut down the government, could it turn out better for him? I don't know. He's got really good instincts on politics. He knows that the economy, as good as it is, is not what's driving voters to the polls. He needs to turn out his base. Will his base turn out for something like this? Possibly.
The other thing about the politics is, I don't think that the members of Congress actually believe him. So they're like, "Oh, he's just, like, threatening to shut down the government. He won't really do it."
What I think the president should do, if he can, is to send up to the Congress the exact -- exactly what he would veto. And so that they know what they're dealing with so that they can try to get this done and avoid a government shutdown.
But he might be just spoiling for a fight.
WILLIAMS: He just wants a fight?
PERINO: Maybe.
WILLIAMS: You know, Mitch McConnell and the Republican leadership that they had a deal with the president not to shut down the government over this. And Greg, 60 percent of the American people plus say they don't want a wall.
GUTFELD: You know, a government shutdown is the World Cup of politics.
PERINO: Oh, it's the worst.
GUTFELD: It's got all this -- there's this massive buildup: "Here comes the World Cup." And then you turn it on, and it's boys just kicking a ball around. It's -- you know? And then it ends with penalty kicks.
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: It's like, OK. Let's just skip the game and get to the penalty kicks.
That's the same way, by the way, with the Supreme Court. It's like skip the hearings.
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: Just get to the penalty kicks.
Trump has had a lot of success so far in a year and a half, two years. But this is his birthday pony. Like, he's got GDP, unemployment, North Korea. But if he doesn't get that pony, he's not going to be happy. He wants the birthday pony.
And he might already have it in the sense that what have we always said? Who's the wall?
PERINO: He's the wall.
GUTFELD: They wall was always a visual metaphor about an enhanced border security. He's made it an issue. People are listening. He -- you know, he's made it the issue that people weren't talking about. Maybe he'll get something out of it.
WILLIAMS: Maybe he'll get something out of it. I think he's -- I think his strategy is "I'm going to go after immigrants. I'm going to --" This weekend he was going after the --
GUTFELD: Illegal immigrants.
WILLIAMS: -- after the -- no, no, he wants to cut legal immigration. Don't forget that.
WATTERS: He wants chain -- he wants chain over. Lotto over. He wants merit-based.
WILLIAMS: Yes, and he wants to cut legal --- so I'm saying.
WATTERS: Bring in the best and the brightest.
WILLIAMS: Oh, please.
WATTERS: And we don't bring in some guy's uncle from Zimbabwe.
WILLIAMS: Oh, Zimbabwe. Thank you.
WATTERS: Or Thailand, Juan. Take your pick.
WILLIAMS: I get it. I want Norway, too. Norway, Norway.
But the other part of it is --
GUTFELD: No way to Norway.
WILLIAMS: -- goes after -- goes after the NFL players.
GUTFELD: He wants to deport NFL players? When did this happen?
WILLIAMS: Deport them?
GUTFELD: Yes.
WILLIAMS: No, no, he just wants to mock them and use it to stir up his base, like the immigration.
GUTFELD: You just shifted.
WILLIAMS: By the way, as a former cheerleader for the NFL, are you upset over Trump's attack on NFL players?
GUTFELD: This is about the wall! This is about the wall!
PERINO: The wall.
GUTFELD: You are -- oh, my goodness.
WILLIAMS: This is the wall. This is that wall.
COMPAGNO: Right now, has paused any type of policy that they have, right, on kneeling during the anthem, which the -- we saw the Dolphins and then the Cowboys make their own policies.
WILLIAMS: Yes. Jerry Jones, though, has now got his own policy.
COMPAGNO: Exactly right.
GUTFELD: How do you feel about Trump destroying ISIS, Juan?
COMPAGNO: So I --
WILLIAMS: I wish it was true.
GUTFELD: It is.
COMPAGNO: It's become now a more polarized situation, and I think it did get too far at this point. But right now the NFL and the NFLPA are sitting down in front of an independent arbiter, and they are hopefully coming to an agreement behind closed doors. And that's all we need to focus on now, in terms of hoping that that's going to --
WATTERS: Can I say this?
WILLIAMS: Yes.
WATTERS: As an Eagles fan who hates the Dallas Cowboys, I love hearing those Cowboys players say, "We're America's team, and we will not be kneeling; we will be standing."
WILLIAMS: Good for them. All right.
WATTERS: Go, Cowboys. Did I just say that? Oh, my God.
PERINO: Bite your tongue.
WATTERS: Where's the edit button?
WILLIAMS: All right. A stunning number of millennials walking away from cushy jobs, and they don't even have a backup plan. What's going on? The surprising reason for this, straight ahead on "THE FIVE."
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: Talk about a workforce walkout. More and more self-described burned-out millennials are quitting their lucrative jobs and not worried about what they'll do next. Must be nice.
A new survey says 43 percent of these young adults are ditching their careers after just two years to travel and have a better work-life balance. Only 28 percent plan to stay in their current jobs for more than five years.
We are going to discuss. This is what I want to say. I'm kind of jealous and envious that they get to go and do all this. They have no cares in the world. They can just go travel, see the world while we're working here.
But this is what I'm going to say. When you come back, do not expect to get the managerial position of a 26-year-old. You will start at the 22- year-old position. That is the entry-level one. Work experience is great. It gets you a lot of place. Travel experience is great, but it is not going to get you to leapfrog over people who stayed and worked.
GUTFELD: Somebody is a little angry.
PERINO: But you know how many calls I get a week asking me for mentoring advice? And I'll tell you, this is one of them.
GUTFELD: Yes. No. 1, I'm very skeptical of stories like these when they have anecdotes. Like they find some 20-something who -- who scaled a Guatemalan volcano. For every one of those, you have 10,000 who work their butts off, but you don't do articles about them.
We also pile on millennials, because we believe they do have it easier, but how do -- why is it -- why are their lives easier? Because we invented the technology that makes their life easier.
Every generation, subsequent generation has it easier --
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: Because we paved the way. We invent the things. We build the wealth. We create the wealth. Millennials traveling more than ever. Why? Because I invented the plane.
WILLIAMS: Thank you, Al Gore.
PERINO: Emily, you are not a millennial.
COMPAGNO: I'm not a millennial. I want to make that clear.
PERINO: But you're on the cusp. You're a young Generation X.
GUTFELD: Want you just ask her how old she is, Dana.
PERINO: I'm beating around the bush. OK. What do you think of this thing?
COMPAGNO: I think what frightens me is it seems like there's no investment. Like, when everyone comes back from living in Bali and doing whatever, what happens when that generation starts aging out? You know, you talked about jobs there are going to be for them. And we're also seeing total vacancies in -- in industries that do depend on that kind of young, now millennial entry-level jobs. Right?
So one of them is the restaurant industry. I just said it. So they're experiencing, literally, like vacuums in, for example, hostessing positions or hosting positions --
GUTFELD: If only we had immigrants.
WILLIAMS: Imagine that. That would be me.
PERINO: There is a legal shortage.
WATTERS: Legal immigrants.
COMPAGNO: I just -- it worries me, because I don't know what's going to happen when they need what --
GUTFELD: Robots.
PERINO: We can have robot -- robot hostesses. Jesse, how do you feel about these youngsters?
WATTERS: I look upon them with disdain.
PERINO: OK.
WATTERS: Because I'm 40 now, and I like -- it makes me feel better. So it's easy to drop out of the workforce and go eat fish tacos by the beach all day and take Instagram pictures. That's easy to do. But they're wasting their lives and their talent, because in your 20s and 30s, you need to develop skills so you can actually make money.
GUTFELD: But maybe those are skills.
You have to be able to live a comfortable life. When he returned to the workforce and you go to an interview and they go, I see a 15-year gap. What were you doing then? You can't say, "I was scaling a whatever in Guatemala. You're going to get -- you're going to work for another millennial.
PERINO: But also, I do think maybe we're being a little unimaginative, Juan, because of this great technology. So you can kind of work from anywhere. So maybe they've figured out a way to work from Bali. And I just haven't.
WATTERS: I don't think that's what's going on. I think they treasure going to Bali. And here's the thing. I think there's a psychological thing at play, which is for all of us, at least, at this table, I believe it's the case that we felt we're going to hustle, we're going to pick up skills. We're calling people like Dana Perino for, you know, career advice. We're those kind of hustlers, Type A's, right?
PERINO: Yes.
WILLIAMS: But I think for a lot of people today, look at the numbers. You know, college costs are up. Income is stagnant. Home ownership is down. Even to get married, the rates of marriage are down.
They're like, "I don't know if I can make it. I don't know if I'll ever make as much money as my folks, have a house as nice as my folks. You know what, I'm not playing the rat race game. I'm going to Bali."
PERINO: Right.
WILLIAMS: And for a lot of them, that's what they want to do. Now don't - -
WATTERS: We're doomed, because China's going to kick out butt, then, Juan, because you need a competitive young generation to go out there and hustle.
WILLIAMS: I'm for it.
WATTERS: And pass that down to the next generation.
WILLIAMS: I agree with you, but I think that what we are not discussing at the table is income inequality. That it's so difficult now to get your foot on the ladder of upward mobility.
WATTERS: I see rich people, I aspire to that. I don't drop out and go to Bali.
GUTFELD: And you know what? It is inequality, but its status inequality. What they're plagued with now is going on Instagram. And the reason why they're traveling is because they see their friends' Instagram, and they go, "I have to do that, too." It's actually -- you know, you talk about the race up the ladder for money. It's not that. It's status.
WATTERS: They're going to Bali, and they're in debt.
WILLIAMS: Hold on. You're talking about rich kids who can even think about going to Bali.
GUTFELD: Or go to Coachella or go to Bonnaroo, wherever, and have your picture shirtless, wearing beads. I'm tired of those pictures.
PERINO: All right. Men, listen up. Another reason for you to eat meat. It could help your love life. We will explain, next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
COMPAGNO: Hay, single guys. Listen up. So apparently, the quickest way to a woman's heart is through your stomach. That all depends on what you put in it.
A new study from Italy finds that when ladies were showed fake bios of potential mates, they were more attractive to those who ate meat than to vegetarians or vegans.
Now, this makes sense to me, right. I'm Sicilian-American, and that study came from Italy. We have entire festivals dedicated to meat. So Greg, I see you are wolfing that down. I've heard that your diet is --
GUTFELD: Nothing but --
COMPAGNO: -- mostly meat. Right?
GUTFELD: It's almost entirely pork and cow. My favorite are barbecued ribs. I eat them --
COMPAGNO: Pork and cow.
GUTFELD: I call it cow, because I like people to know that I'm actually eating a living being.
But here's the deal: 100 years from now, how are they going to look at people like me? Because essentially, I'm an earthling eating an earthling. I cow is an earthling? So this could be seen as a form of cannibalism by space aliens. Space aliens could look at earth and go, "My God, these people eat each other. These species, creatures, eat each other." So the solution is to eat the space aliens, because they're really different.
COMPAGNO: But you don't know if it's high in protein, though.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true. I would not have a high-carb alien.
WILLIAMS: You can't eat robots?
GUTFELD: No, you can't. But they can eat you.
COMPAGNO: So Dana, what about you? Would you be less attracted to your husband -- is he a vegetarian, first of all?
PERINO: No, my husband is not vegetarian. Not in any way. But my family still has cattle ranches in Newcastle, Wyoming. So I highly encourage everyone to eat meat.
But I also got to go on safari once in Africa. And the -- we had a guide who explained to us, if you have eyes in front of your head, you are meant to chase. You are meant to chase so that you can get meat. That's what you're supposed supposed to eat. And that animals with eyes on the sides, they're supposed to, you know, gather.
GUTFELD: That's a crazy --
PERINO: It made total sense to me.
GUTFELD: (UNINTELLIGIBLE)
COMPAGNO: Jesse -- oh, have you taken a bite yet?
WATTERS: No, I was waiting.
PERINO: Self-restraint.
WILLIAMS: Can we tell the audience that they told us we should order meat for this segment. So everybody, like -- you know, Greg ordered some ribs. I ordered some chicken.
WATTERS: A little rare.
WILLIAMS: Tell them what you ordered, Jesse.
WATTERS: I got a strip steak with bearnaise sauce.
WILLIAMS: That's serious eating.
WATTERS: I know.
GUTFELD: Nothing changes.
WATTERS: I should have asked for a side, too.
COMPAGNO: So this makes sense. What do you think about the study? What do you think about this?
WATTERS: Listen, I think it goes back to hunters and gatherers.
PERINO: Oh, thank you.
WATTERS: Women are attracted to men that can go out and stab something with a spear and throw it over a fire and eat it.
Plus, it has protein and men -- women like men with muscles. And steak is expensive, and that also attracts women. And if you're a vegan or you eat salad, it makes you a little softer. And, you know, it's not the most masculine thing. It's as simple as that.
GUTFELD: Very simple. It is simple. It is literally simple.
COMPAGNO: You have a chicken in front of you. You don't have red meat.
WILLIAMS: I try not to eat meat.
WATTERS: That explains a lot.
WILLIAMS: But the funniest thing happened to me on this front in my life. I was living with an African tribe. So I was a kid. I was like a teenager. And the other boys would just make so much fun of me. They would say, "You smell like meat," because they don't eat meat, and I ate meat. They're like, "You smell like" -- you know, "You're a stinker." But --
WATTERS: What do they eat?
WILLIAMS: What?
WATTERS: What do they eat?
WILLIAMS: They eat all kinds of things but not meat. They eat fish. They eat -- in fact, they didn't eat that much fish, but they eat vegetarian stuff. And they are very healthy.
PERINO: Yes, they were manly men.
WILLIAMS: Yes. But I don't eat a lot of beef, because doctors have said to me, especially after prostate cancer, "Hey, you know, you might slow down a little bit on it."
WATTERS: Well, meat for me, Juan.
COMPAGNO: So "One More Thing" is up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: "One More Thing." All right. I'm going to be on Tucker tonight. We'll be talking about my book, I hope. I better be talking about my book, Tucker, because I'm sticking around.
But more important, from 7-8 p.m. tonight, which is, what, 4 p.m. West Coast time, I'm going to be on Facebook doing a live autograph signing. So you can come on there, and you can actually get a book signed. And I'll sign -- you get on there, I sign it to you, whatever you want.
PERINO: And you get to make fun of them.
GUTFELD: I get to -- I get to make fun of you. Tom Shillue is hosting it, and I'll be there. It will be for one hour, 7-8, 4-5. Like right? I can't do -- I can't do math. Yes. All right, we have this, too.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Greg's Sports Corner!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: All right. This is pretty exciting. You've got to take a look. This is one of the prospects for the NFL. Let's take a look at this cat.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(CAT KNOCKS DOWN ANOTHER CAT)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: He's -- depending on his 40 time he could be an early second- round draft pick. Yes.
PERINO: Looking forward to football season.
GUTFELD: Yes. You better stand for the anthem.
All right. Jesse.
WATTERS: All right. Dana's "One More Thing" video, regarding dogs, I've been a little soft recently. So I'm going to kick it up a notch here. This is a real "One More Thing" dog video. Watch this dog steel steal a Go Pro and chase --
GUTFELD: That was great.
WATTERS: -- everybody around the backyard. Harrowing video. That's what dogs do, and that's why people like dogs. Dana, that's how you do a "One More Thing."
GUTFELD: But you don't like dogs.
WATTERS: That is gripping. I've learned to tolerate them.
GUTFELD: That's good. Like liberals.
PERINO: Stuck with one.
WATTERS: That was --
PERINO: That would be Jasper.
WATTERS: Yes.
PERINO: Jasper. Is it my turn?
WATTERS: It wasn't sexual.
PERINO: Jasper loves everyone, even Jesse.
WATTERS: Even Jesse.
PERINO: OK. Get this. Twenty-six-year-old David Casarez (ph), he originally moved to Silicon Valley with the hope of finding a job in the tech industry, but Greg, as you've told us, it's extremely expensive. It was so expensive it forced him into homelessness.
However, it didn't stop him from looking for work. On Friday a photo of David handing out resumes and holding a sign which says, "Hungry for success" were shared on Twitter and went all around. It was shared by over 130,000 people. And since then he has received hundreds of job offers, including some from industry leaders like Google and Netflix. One CEO has even provided David with temporary housing so he can focus on interviews.
So he didn't go to Bali.
GUTFELD: No.
PERINO: He went to the valley.
GUTFELD: Nicely done! Nicely done!
All right. Juan.
WILLIAMS: Well, Saturday it was girls gone wild in D.C. Yes. My twin granddaughters and their fellow first-graders had a throw-down party. Pepper and Wesley turned six on August 1. The girls said they wanted a luau themed birthday party.
So my legal eagle daughter created cake magic, baking two fantastic cakes. And I've got to tell you, they tasted even better than they look. Here, you can see one cake with hula girl on top in a straw skirt atop some sand. Really, it's just crushed peanuts.
The other cake, even more amazing, folks. Look at this. It's a pig ready to roast at a luau.
WATTERS: That is cultural appropriation, Juan.
WILLIAMS: Happy birthday, girls, from your old pop pop.
WATTERS: What does that taste like?
WILLIAMS: Great kids.
PERINO: Strawberry cake? Or what kind of cake?
WILLIAMS: It was confetti cake inside.
GUTFELD: What is -- what's confetti cake?
PERINO: It's like vanilla cake with all sorts of little, like, dots inside it.
GUTFELD: I don't like that.
WILLIAMS: You don't like vanilla? You don't like --
GUTFELD: No, no, no. I like chocolate cake and just white -- I like Duncan Hines.
WILLIAMS: That's good.
GUTFELD: Duncan Hines.
I'm a -- all right. I hear you.
Emily. Your turn.
COMPAGNO: I have to say I'm still reeling from your "don't like dogs" comment. Like, to me that's worse than being a vegetarian.
WATTERS: I'm reeling from some of your comments.
WILLIAMS: Whoa! Holy smokes, take it easy. She's a guest, man.
WATTERS: I know. All right, Juan. I'm out of line.
COMPAGNO: On July 10 last year, we lost seven U.S. Marine raiders and nine Marine aircraft crew members of a KC-130 in a tragic crash in Mississippi while they were on transit -- in transit to pre-deployment training.
So on the first anniversary of the crash this month, a team of 30 Marine raiders and special amphibious reconnaissance Navy corpsmen undertook an 11-day, 900-mile ruck march from the crash site in Mississippi back to Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.
This was called the Marine Raider Memorial March, and it honored the Marines who died, symbolizing bringing them back home on the voyage they were unable to make. And the march was just completed this Friday that we just had.
PERINO: That's impressive and very important.
WATTERS: Hear that, millennials? Real Americans right there.
PERINO: Emily's "One More Thing" was the best one.
GUTFELD: All right.
WATTERS: Excuse me.
GUTFELD: Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of "The Five." He's a triple threat. Calm, cool, handsome, and his name is Bret. Hello, Bret!
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