TRANSCRIPT

Kathy Griffin plays the victim

Comedian says she's being targeted after she posed with likeness of President Donald Trumps severed head

 

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," June 2, 2017. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters and Greg Gutfeld.

It is 9:00 in New York City and this is "The Five." Kathy Griffin intended to create a national fire storm with her bloody beheading stunt this week. She did and it backfired resulting in public scorn, the loss of sponsorships and gigs. And even her New Year's Eve hosting job on CNN. Both President Trump and the First Lady voiced their discussed with the comedian's grotesque attempt for attention and even admitted she went too far in a video posted online. But today, she was very contrite claiming she was the one that was wronged in a tearful and awkward press conference.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KATHY GRIFFIN, COMEDIAN: This bully and this president of all people to come after me. He picked the wrong red head. If you don't stand up, you get run over and what is happening to me has never happened ever in the history of this great country which is that a sitting president of the United States and his grown children and the first lady are personally -- I feel personally trying to ruin my life forever. You guys know him.

He's never going to stop. It is quite clear to me that they are trying to use me as a distraction. And I'm not going to be a collateral damage for this fool. I don't think I will have a career after this. I'm going to be honest, he broke me. He broke me. He broke -- and then I was like, no, this isn't right. It's just not right. And I apologize because that was the right thing to do and I meant it. And then, I saw tide turning, there is a bunch of old white guys trying to silence me and I am just here to say, that's wrong. You shouldn't silence a comic.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Oh my God! Honestly. All right. Jesse still finishing the pizza he was challenged down right before we started. So, let's start with Greg. Do you have theory about what's going on there because to me, she planned the whole thing out?

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: This is an incredible, incredible orchestration. I mean, this is so fake. The fact that she can't generate tears when she is crying, let's start from the beginning. She talked about this on camera, what she was planning on doing. Then she did it. Immediately, the apology was fast and scripted. It was there, it was clean, everything was right. Then immediately, this isn't a matter of days. There was a lawyer with her to create the victim -- the victimhood story line, she is now Joan of Arc.

PERINO: Lisa Bloom.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. And all of a sudden, the story, the narrative is built for her. And she starts talking about, this was already planned and planted premeditated and it is so sad that this is what she has to do because she is so irrelevant. And by the way, she thinks that she is a comic which is funny because she never explains the actual joke.

PERINO: I know.

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: What was the punch line?

PERINO: She said like, I did not intend?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Why did she intend to do?

GUTFELD: We have no idea. The one thing that a comedian's excuse to say, it is a joke. But you know, what? We all have that excuse. A comedian shouldn't have more of a right to be crass or crude. We should all have that right. So, I am tired of that. But the other thing that kills me about this is that, she paraded a picture of a decapitated head of a president and she is claiming that she is bullied.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: I mean, that is amazing. I have to hand it to her.

PERINO: I think that one of the things, the worst part of this Kimberly --

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes.

PERINO: -- is that there are people who are bullied.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: There are women who are attacked unfairly and that are harassed. And she basically made a mockery of all of that and have done a real disservice to that.

GUILFOYLE: You're absolutely right. Great point. She's told their truth. This is what's -- when I see somebody like this having worked as a former prosecutor for real victims of crimes committed against them. This is somebody, I mean, honestly, we commend President Trump from saving us from having to watch or listen to her. The fact that she went up there, she put on this performance and it was God awful. I mean, it was so fake, so orchestrated, there was nothing genuine or authentic about it.

Now, she is going after the family. She has no respect whatsoever for bearing Trump or for -- any child, I don't like that my child saw that. You know? In terms of her behavior. I don't understand why she is not willing to accept any personal responsibility for her conduct, she is not the victim, she is the perpetrator and she is the one that went and did this cheap, grotesque --

PERINO: And I think that the President and first lady's reaction were actually rather mild.

GUILFOYLE: Appropriate. Yes.

PERINO: And measured. Let me have you take a listen to Jamie Foxx today, Jesse and take your take on.

WATTERS: Okay.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JAMIE FOXX, ACTOR: Don't kill the comedian. We didn't mean any harm. You guys got to stop it. The world is filled with people that mean you harm and we sit and we give them a pass. You understand what I'm saying? So, I know that she made a mistake or whatever, and we are all going to make mistakes, you need man because we are there to make you laugh.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Okay, that would, okay, I might actually agree with that because she made her apology and actually that story had died yesterday.

WATTERS: Right.

PERINO: She is the one who brought it back up with this press conference today.

WATTERS: I mean, it's like PR 101. You let the story die. You wait six months and then you slow your way back to the industry, you don't then give a press conference, fed more fuel to the fire and then totally obliterate any credibility your other apology had.

GUTFELD: You take a vacation.

WATTERS: You take a vacation.

(LAUGHTER)

A pre-planned vacation. I almost think she kind of wants to be the next Rosie O'Donnell or she wants to be on Trump's public enemy number one. And I am going to battle this guy out.

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

WATTERS: And everybody can galvanize behind all the haters.

PERINO: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: And, you know, that's a hard core venue but she can play to them and those are going to be your people. There's not a lot of revenue there. There's no commercial appeal. That's possible but this is what happens when you live in a left wing cocoon. You live in world of Trump hate and then you cross the line in a decent society and decent society says, no, you can't do that. Your job is done. You know, you wake up Kathy. This is how the real world is and the media created an atmosphere like this and now one of their own is paying a price.

GUILFOYLE: Juan, even Senator Al Franken who initially said that he would keep these plans that they had together next month, he actually now has said, he's not going to have her there either. So, there are consequences for her actions.

JUAN WILLIAMS, FOX NEWS HOST: Absolutely. To me, what's interesting is that you see people like Franken but I think lots of liberals who have condemned her and said, you know, what? You did. You know, going back to what Jamie Foxx said, yes, comedians are there to make us laugh but what she did was not funny.

GUILFOYLE: Right.

WILLIAMS: In fact, I think one of the big critics I've heard is that she's somehow generated sympathy for Donald Trump in this act.

PERINO: Right.

WILLIAMS: I mean, that's incredible. But she did. But I will say this, I mean, I always have concern about selective outrage as I've said in this case.

PERINO: Right.

WILLIAMS: And I just think, well, boy, it seems to me like, you know, CNN and the left people like Al Franken have come down harder on her than anybody. Anybody ever came down on Ted Nugent on the right when he was doing offensive things and making offensive statements --

WATTERS: Get Ted Nugent on the phone.

PERINO: I think there's something to be said for that.

GUTFELD: But I think that it is interesting to me if you look at who is defending her. So, you know, Kimberly was talking about Baron and Ken Jennings, the jeopardy guy comes out, right? And he says, owe, you know, they're just putting Baron out there because that's to generate sympathy from the Trump camp. I don't know. I see Jamie Foxx, Jim Carey, the comedian, Larry King, the former CNN host, they all say, hey, look, it was comedy, she was offensive but let it go.

PERINO: Okay. But Juan, don't you think Kimberly that that actually the apology would have been fine if she then had not gone forward and filed a lawsuit and said that she was a victim.

GUTFELD: Did she file a lawsuit?

PERINO: I don't know. She was a lawyer.

GUTFELD: But the point is, she was a lawyer. This is all planned.

PERINO: I agree.

GUILFOYLE: Exactly. Because she's just trying to make herself some, you know, the sympathetic public figure but it's not. Her first apology wasn't even, you know, sufficient or good, she didn't apologize directly to the President, you know, or to her families, sort of to her fans, kind of, so she was not sincere but she should have even left it and now, she has made it even worse by trying to go forward and pretend that she was a victim, even though it was her own personal choice and combat that she engaged and that was pre-planned.

PERINO: And then why the Lisa Bloom lawyer stunt? Like, what is she doing there?

GUILFOYLE: Well, that's what they do. Some has agreed, you come forward, and they have the lawyer by them.

PERINO: Even if you don't plan to file a lawsuit?

GUILFOYLE: Listen.

WILLIAMS: Who is she going to sue?

PERINO: I don't know.

GUILFOYLE: I don't know.

PERINO: But why do you have a lawyer?

GUILFOYLE: They do this so they go forward --

WATTERS: Anytime we bring a lawyer into the situation, it makes people back off a little bit.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Right.

GUILFOYLE: I need an attorney to go forward and have a press conference because I have a legal regress, to create the appearance I think that she has some kind of action.

WILLIAMS: You know what bothers me though is I think the whole ideal of civil discourse is obviously at no web in our country. But this woman is a provocateur. She has been thrown off "The View." She has been thrown off-- some people say she's been thrown off Ellen DeGeneres because she says obnoxious things to get attention. Not funny. She's not an artist. She's not made for --

WATTERS: But you know what, Juan?

WILLIAMS: She's just being --

WATTERS: But the press machine knew what she was all about. She was on in any red carpet, and made a sex joke about Jesus.

WILLIAMS: Right.

WATTERS: She was kicked off an E red carpet for making inappropriate joke over 10-year-old Dakota Fanning.

WILLIAMS: Right.

WATTERS: She was absolutely had to gave her paycheck back to CNN at one point because she used the f word when she was talking about a six-year-old boy. So, everybody saw what she was all about and they enabled her.

GUILFOYLE: And why did they keep her on?

WATTERS: And then when she finally crosses, then everybody distances themselves. It is very convenient.

WILLIAMS: You know, I wish that the right would do that.

WATTERS: We do.

GUTFELD: You know, what? I think that it would be really interesting is, if Donald Trump tweeted -- you should tell him this tomorrow morning when he calls her.

(LAUGHTER)

GUILFOYLE: I don't advise him.

GUTFELD: He should tweet. Forgive her. Don't destroy her career. She's learned a lesson. And it will change the narrative on the Paris accords and it will blow people's mind and it is actually real, easy, simple win.

WATTERS: Trump takes the high road.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

WATTERS: Wow! I liked it.

GUTFELD: You know what, she apologized and let's let her live her life.

PERINO: It is actually one of the best things that a leader can teach you is, the power of forgiveness.

GUTFELD: Yes. Which is?

PERINO: In the short-term, let it go. I mean, that would be amazing. She would be very lucky if that happened.

WILLIAMS: Unless Jesse is right. And actually she thinks she advanced her career.

WATTERS: Absolute right.

GUILFOYLE: I think she wants to keep it going. She wants to be agreed and that's --

GUTFELD: I think she wants your seat, Juan.

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: Oh, no!

WATTERS: I want to sit next to her.

(LAUGHTER)

(TALKING ALL AT ONCE)

WILLIAMS: Oh, no!

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: All right. Coming up, President Trump takes on the world by pulling out of the Paris climate. Of course. And some folks are in full melt down mode. We will show you after this.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: It is President Trump versus the world. The planet is erupted in full blown hysteria over the President's decision to pull America out of the Paris climate path. Landmarks and city halls will lit up in green last night across the world in some cities here at home in support of the environmental accord. The President calls it an unfair deal that hurts the American taxpayers. The global elite disagree.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRIAN WILLIAMS, NBC NEWS: On a sunny day on the Rose Garden, what could be defined and construed as a dark speech and as you go through it, more like four or five dark speeches in there.

REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALI, HOUSE MINORITY LEADER: The Bible tells us to minister to the needs of God the creation as an act of worship, to ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us. And that is just what we are doing. By walking away from this accord.

GOV. JERRY BROWN, D-CALIFORNIA: This is a crazy decision, it's against the facts. It's against science, it's against reality itself. We know that we have to decarbonize our future. If we don't, it's a whore, people are going to die.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Okay, so people are going to die. Greg, the Democrats has said that the President's healthcare plan will kill people. The President's climate plan will kill people and now his budget will kill people.

GUTFELD: They never were read that story by their parents.

WATTERS: No.

GUTFELD: You know, Shelly Steele has this great phrase called poetic, truth, it's false truth that action replaces real truth. If you were to ask any of these people. What is the global mean temperature, right? They would not know. It is 59 degrees. And then if you asked them, if it is warmer or colder than it was 7,000 years ago. They would not know. It is actually cooler now than it was 7,000 years ago.

PERINO: Cooler. Yes.

GUTFELD: When they come and they tell you the statistics about being the hottest temperature or the hottest year ever. If you asked them what the increase was, they wouldn't be able to tell you that every single year that there's an increase, it is within the margin of error, meaning it is not increasing. So, those are called real truths. The poetic truths is the chaos and the hysteria because that plays to the media. And it makes you feel so important. And you get to punish America for being so successful by doing these stupid deals. But if you read the facts about the high temperatures, about the reality of our past, it is all BS.

GUTFELD: Wow. Well, I am trying not to -- I don't want to repeat it yesterday. Do you want to respond to that?

WILLIAMS: Well, I feel that he made a comment. I'm getting fired up inside.

PERINO: That's green.

WILLIAMS: Yes. I got to get the green house.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Juan the green.

WILLIAMS: Yes. Because I just think, you know, Greg, you are talking about when the earth was created and fires bloomed everywhere.

(LAUGHTER)

That's what you said. That's what you said.

GUTFELD: Oh my God! I said 7,000 years ago in a different era. I didn't say when the earth began.

WILLIAMS: That's okay.

GUTFELD: Come on, Juan! You're a religious man.

WILLIAMS: I don't know.

GUTFELD: When did the earth begin?

WILLIAMS: Let me just tell you this. If you still want to fight with NASA and with the National -- but let me just say --

GUTFELD: Oh, man. You are so desperate. You are so desperate.

WILLIAMS: Because you know what, I know the facts. And you don't have the facts.

GUTFELD: I just gave you facts. You give the opinion.

WILLIAMS: You know what you give me? You give me stand and arrogance and stubborn headed --

GUTFELD: Okay. Let me ask you, what is the global mean temperature?

WILLIAMS: That's ridiculous.

GUTFELD: It doesn't matter? It does matter?

WILLIAMS: You just told me so I can repeat what you say.

GUTFELD: You don't even remember what you said.

WILLIAMS: I don't care what he said either.

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: You don't even know the extreme weather changes. You know nothing about this.

WILLIAMS: Excuse me. Excuse me. Let me just tell you something.

WATTERS: One last word because we have to move on.

WILLIAMS: Because you know what?

GUTFELD: You just got destroyed.

WILLIAMS: Yes. If it was bad breath, yes. But let me just say this. When you look at the reality and I don't think there is any question that temperatures -- let me speak!

GUTFELD: Because you're condescending.

WILLIAMS: No, I'm not condescending.

GUTFELD: You said, when you look at the facts. I stated the facts.

WATTERS: This is not going anywhere. This is not going anywhere. KG?

WILLIAMS: But he didn't state the facts.

GUTFELD: I did!

GUILFOYLE: This is actually isn't about real climate science, this is about money. And it's about who would contribute to these funds and obviously, the UN and other European countries are upset because we were supposed to contribute. The American taxpayer with an obligation to contribute $3 billion for this. Why should we have to pay this? Like, this was not a good deal to begin with.

It doesn't mean that President Trump will not examine this issue and look at the science behind it and decide what kind of agreement that he feels comfortable that is good for America to be a part of. Not one that places an undue burden on our country and our economy but one that is fair and equal and proportionate as it relates to our obligations monetarily, et cetera.

WILLIAMS: Let me say a quick point here.

WATTERS: Really quick, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Very quick, I just want to say that major American oil companies, major American companies like Mars and major American cities and states are all saying, this was a mistake, it will hurt our economy, it will not help us.

GUILFOYLE: The candy bar?

WATTERS: First time Juan agreed with the oil company.

GUILFOYLE: Wait. The candy bar?

WILLIAMS: Yes. Even the Mars people.

GUILFOYLE: Major oil companies and Mars.

WILLIAMS: Well, I am telling you, I just want to mention a few but Hewlett Packard, I could go on.

WATTERS: Dana, let me just ask you a question. Because I am getting annoyed with this talking points from the left. They're saying, all these other countries are doing it so why can't America, it's like, you know, when a kid gets caught smoking cigarettes and all my friends are doing it mom, it's not an excuse.

PERINO: Well, I think that the national leaders who supported the Paris agreement, including President Obama had their domestic politics in mind. Okay? So, that helped President Obama with his domestic politics.

WATTERS: Uh-hm.

PERINO: President Trump also had a political interests in selling yesterday's move for his domestic audience.

WATTERS: Right.

PERINO: Okay. Macron today, he's talking about the world and really, he's a new leader and this is all remember, this all goes back to domestic politics and it appears to me that basically what we are doing is nullifying an insignificant agreement that was nonbinding. And so now what you have is what I think that the leaders did, they got to the Paris agreement because they couldn't get anything else. They couldn't get anything binding.

None of them sent it too, well, I'm sorry, President Obama didn't send it to our Congress because they wouldn't have approved it. That's the same with Kyoto. So, they tried to go around that. And we basically are walking America down a path to be committed to these other agreements in terms of the economics. Now, I don't think that the White House did a good job in explaining that in the lead up to it. Because the whole story was about the drama, will he or really not?

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: If you're going to take this side, I'm going to take that, all became about the -- intrigue instead of explaining to the people why exactly the economics didn't make sense.

WATTERS: And Trump did a very good job explaining that, but it was all about the Trump announcement.

GUTFELD: But I got to respond to that. Also the climate clerics failed to persuade as well. Their arrogance prevented them from explaining the mechanics of this accord. If you explained it better. Also, I mean, Juan, I think that we can agree on this. We have to continue look at the science and invest in R and D. Do you not agree with that?

WILLIAMS: Yes.

GUTFELD: And that means, funny, cheaper renewable energy.

WILLIAMS: Yes!

GUTFELD: That's what I'm talking about. The economy is, it's the economics that matters.

GUILFOYLE: That's what they're doing.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: And by the way, and this went through and President Trump didn't withdraw from the Paris accord, we would be seeing endless lawsuits where people are bringing cases for forcing the United States government to implement and comply with certain sections of this. The Ninth Circuit, the Fourth Circuit --

WATTERS: And Juan, because he cares about the environment is a walk back to Washington, D.C.

WILLIAMS: Yes. Yes. Yes. Let me just quickly respond to Greg and say, look --

WATTERS: Quickly.

WILLIAMS: American business leaders wrote to Donald Trump, he is supposed to be the businessman and he said this is something we want, it is good for American business, good for the American economy.

GUTFELD: He can make a better deal.

GUILFOYLE: Well, he can do a better deal.

WATTERS: President Trump's controversial travel ban has now reached the Supreme Court. Will the justices backed a safety measure or block it. Up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Welcome back. President Trump's temporary travel ban is now in the hands of the Supreme Court. Justices could design in days whether to let this stay on the President's revise executive order to halt travel from six mostly Muslim countries.

The White House insists it's necessary and constitutional.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEAN SPICER, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: So, last night, we asked the Supreme Court to hear this important case. And are confident that the President's executive orders while within his lawful authority to keep the national safe and protect our communities from terrorism. The President's not required to admit people from countries that sponsor or shelter terrorism.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUILFOYLE: All right. Dana, what do you make of this?

PERINO: Well, I've been saying for a while that I thought that the White House should do this because especially after Neil Gorsuch got sat on the Supreme Court, that this issue is too important to leave to, you know, how long it would usually take for -- I'm not crying. I don't.

GUTFELD: You're crying.

PERINO: Sorry. It is spilling out. Because the Fourth Circuit just came out, and said no. The Ninth Circuit has said, no. And so now this is the time I think for the White House to ask for expedited review by the Supreme Court since now they are nine justices and just get some clarity. And whatever, whatever the decision is, then move on from there. If they have to revise and rewrite what they want to do, so that it is constitutional, great. And if they don't, then you can say, the supreme law of the land has said that this is constitutional and they can go forward and implement.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. I think it's a perfect timing, it's appropriate and this is what they were supposed to do, Greg?

GUTFELD: I think the important thing here is that we are having a conversation about something that's really important. The conversation goes back if you start calling people xenophobic or Islamophobic because that tells everyone that you're living in the past, that -- a past where this apocalyptic threats didn't exist, so when you're actually worried about Islamic terrorism, you're somehow racist, you're basically a barnacle on society.

You're living off us. We no longer should be -- led a fabricated guilt over a law that somehow we are flawed to prevent us from protecting ourselves from an imminent apocalyptic threat. So in a sense, we have to divorce ourselves from liberal guilt and have no problem with saying no terrorists allowed, no Islamists allowed.

GUILFOYLE: All right. So, Jesse, what do you think? The timing and also the ban.

WATTERS: I think it's good timing. I think the anti-Trump media narrative for the first 100 days is going to totally flip in the next 200 days. They said this travel ban was going to be held up in the courts. Looks like it's probably going to be a 5-4 decision in the Supreme Court.

They said the president could get legislation through congress on peace, health care reform, and tax cuts. They also said that he was colluding with Russia. Now, all these new investigations and subpoenas making the Obama spying scandal that much more important. So, you know, there are checks and balances with these things.

Eventually, the constitution wins in (ph) Article 1 Section of the constitution congress says the power to regulate immigration and in 52, they pass all empowering the president to deny entry into the U.S. any class of citizens considered to be detrimental to the interests of the United States.

GUILFOYLE: Well within the authority of the president of the United States, Juan, so now what?

WILLIAMS: I was just so fascinated, Jesse. That was unbelievable.

GUILFOYLE: (inaudible).

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: I was stunned. I didn't know anybody thought that the Trump administration was on pace with replace -- repeal and replace or tax reform. Really?

WATTERS: I think you will get these things done by...

WILLIAMS: Well, I'm just -- I'm glad for you. I just don't think the rest of the world is on that page. And, guess what, Greg.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Greg, there is a big difference between being somehow inhibited by (inaudible) guilt or something liberal guild and history. The reality of history being learning from mistakes you have made in the past.

GUTFELD: We have.

WILLIAMS: The judge in the Ninth Circuit said that the Trump order drips with religious intolerance, animus, and discrimination.

GUTFELD: I know, he's not silly.

WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah, gee. So I think...

WATTERS: Conflicts sound legal arguments.

WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah, religious discrimination.

GUILFOYLE: That's not -- that's not...

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: You are complaining Islamic terror with Islam because you're saying if you want to ban terrorism, that somehow...

WILLIAMS: No, that's not what I'm doing.

GUTFELD: That's exactly what you did.

WILLIAMS: That's what Donald Trump does when he said...

GUTFELD: No, he separated it.

WILLIAMS: ... there are countries with Muslim majority...

GUTFELD: They embrace him. Fifty Islamic countries, they embrace him. They are fighting -- more Muslims are killed by Islamic terror.

WILLIAMS: Fine, but I'm just telling you, in the United States, we do not discriminate against anybody based on...

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Let me just tell you. The most likely outcome right now since the court has stopped hearing oral arguments for the season is that this gets held over and decided in September, I'm not sure that makes anybody...

PERINO: I don't think so.

WILLIAMS: You think they are going to do something...

PERINO: I think they will do it sooner because I think that the national -- it's the interest of national security and that the president needs it as the nation actually needs an answer on this, whether it goes forward against the president so they can clarify it, not just for Americans, but also for those traveling from those countries.

GUTFELD: They should just call it a tax.

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

WATTERS: They got Obamacare, Greg.

GUILFOYLE: I think they are going to reconcile.

WATTERS: I want to explain that to Juan.

(LAUGHTER)

GUILFOYLE: Okay, ahead, the ladies at "the View" can't seem to tell the difference between American democracy and the Taliban. We are going to explain it simply to them next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Oh, my goodness. Arguments over music. The hosts at "The View" have a way of getting themselves in the headlines this time with their strange (inaudible) on the Trump administration plan to reverse an ObamaCare mandate requiring employers provide workers with insurance covering birth control.

(START VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You can't (inaudible) religion.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: They know.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: (inaudible) other people's rights.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, that is done all of the time. Look, how is this different from the Taliban with all these rollbacks and all the things that we hear? What is the difference between us and the people we are fighting?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Nothing.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That's something. It's to keep women down also.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Oh, a heads up to "The View" crew on what it is like to live as a woman or a girl under Taliban and Sharia law. Banned from going to school or studying, banned from working, banned from leaving the house without a male chaperon, banned from showing their skin in public, banned from being involved in politics, can't even speak publicly. Wow!

PERINO: Sexual mutilation.

WILLIAMS: Wow, I don't want to go there. You can talk about it.

GUILFOYLE: If they are making these kinds of comparison, saying it, likening it to the Taliban, it just goes to show you the outrageous nature of their claims.

WILLIAMS: So, let's take it seriously for a second, Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: I'm taking it seriously.

WILLIAM: No, I can't -- it's hard for me to take it seriously. I mean, there is no comparison to Sharia law. But what they are saying is, if it's a religious basis for President Trump's decision, then people who have one side of religious belief can enforce it on everybody.

GUILFOYLE: No, the actual principle or doctrine is to not discriminate against a certain religion and to embrace religious freedom and liberty and not make people adhere to something that they are opposed to on the basis of their religion.

WILLIAMS: But the of course, Jesse, what they're saying is, you would be forced as an employee to live under the doctrine of your employer. By the way, Donald Trump has said all along, he believes in birth control. He has no problem with it.

WATTERS: Yeah, I don't have any problem with birth control either but if you're a practicing or devoted Catholic, why should you have to provide that to people that work for you. And if you are working for someone like them, you are probably reading off of the same script when it comes to that stuff. You know, I don't want to knock "The View" because I might read a book one day.

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: And I like Jedediah a lot.

GUTFELD: I do too.

WATTERS: But I will say though, some of the things they say, it's not real analysis. It's like, they throw the word Taliban or Nazi or Hitler into word salad and then the audience cheers and then Fox News run to the cliff and then they get clicks online. It's not real political analysis. And then I go on the show and promote a book.

WILLIAMS: So, Dana, here's another -- let's just take a second argument. Abortion rates went down dramatically when there was greater access to birth control under ObamaCare.

PERINO: So, I think -- here's the thing. This is a narrow slice of employers that say they're against their religious beliefs, okay? It doesn't mean that you wouldn't have access to that medicine, birth control, or whatever it is that you are looking for, the patch, through other means.

In fact, it is Republicans who have suggested, making and getting birth control much easier and doing it as an over-the-counter drug. So that it would be much more accessible for all sorts of people and I think that is actually the direction we should go. Comparing us to the Taliban just cheapens that argument and ruin the pretty girls who get -- they burned down girl schools.

WILLIAMS: Absolutely.

PERINO: They machine gun down -- they hung young boys even.

WILLIAMS: There is no...

PERINO: Because they (inaudible) to Americans.

GUILFOYLE: They (inaudible) men five times...

PERINO: It doesn't help -- when we are talking about the civil discourse being at low ebb, the right has some responsibility but so is the left for things like that.

WILLIAMS: I would agree. Greg, you have a situation here with Donald Trump who has been sort of a playboy of the western world, always playing around, how (inaudible) light.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.

GUTFELD: I think (inaudible). You can't trust Melania to take her birth control pills.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh. Really?

GUTFELD: What is the question?

WILLIAMS: How did this get there? Is this just a political expedient move by Trump to please the base?

GUTFELD: I don't know. I'm with Dana on this. Here's how I feel about these insurance companies or this policy. If this product weren't so readily available and inexpensive, then things would be different. For example, let's say your plan which was religious- based or whatever wouldn't allow coverage for accidents, like traffic accident, that would be a problem. But if you get a job, divorce yourself from where you're working, what their religious beliefs are.

But if you get a job, pay for the little things, let the insurance handle the big things. That's the only way insurance is going to work in the long run, is if we handle as human beings the small stuff. The birth control, the doctor visits. And then the catastrophic stuff, the insurance will take care of that. It's so simple and it is the only solution. This other stuff is noise.

PERINO: We should have health savings account so then you can actually pay for all those things.

GUILFOYLE: Right.

GUTFELD: Amen.

GUILFOYLE: Savings.

WILLIAMS: All right. Stay right there. "Facebook Friday" is coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: "Facebook Friday." We answer your questions now. Why waste time? Dana, this is from Clay F. If you woke up with the powers of superman, what would be the first thing on your to-do list?

PERINO: I would destruct all the terrorist safe haven so they could not plot or plan, yes.

GUILFOYLE: That's very good.

PERINO: Immediately.

GUILFOYLE: (inaudible) of killing. I like that.

GUTFELD: What about you, Jesse? What would be the first thing?

WATTERS: I'm going to sensor myself here.

(LAUGHTER)

GUILFOYLE: Please.

WATTERS: To say something else.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: I feel great when (inaudible). You're gross (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: Okay, what power does he have?

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: I like it when he blows the ice. That's pretty cool. That was pretty something.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

PERINO: How about the planet, since it's warming.

WILLIAMS: That's what I was going to say. That was perfect.

WATTERS: You're brilliant.

GUILFOYLE: Watters' world.

GUTFELD: Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: Are we skipping Juan?

GUTFELD: He wants to be last.

WILLIAMS: No, I didn't.

GUTFELD: You didn't? Okay, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I would say, you know, there are things like I want to go get North Korea's loops and throw them in the water.

GUTFELD: Right.

WILLIAMS: But secondly, I would like to clean up the ocean. If I could go...

PERINO: Just put the (inaudible) in the ocean.

WILLIAMS: No, what I meant in that metaphor is throw it out of here. But I think ultimately what I really would like to do after this show, I would go over to Greg's house and...

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: ... actually you're staying at a hotel. So I go get Greg out of his bed and I would take him up, and I would say, Greg, look at the icecaps melting.

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: Oh, it's a fact, it's a fact.

GUILFOYLE: The belt is tight on the shorty robe (ph), that's all I'm saying to pick him up.

WILLIAMS: Oh, because (inaudible).

GUTFELD: We know about the population.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: Well, I'm like a companion, Dana, we are like a little salt and pepper shaker. So what I would like to do is remember the time you asked me what I would do if I was invisible?

GUTFELD: Yeah.

GUILFOYLE: Correct. I would like to go in there, like Raqqa (ph), but so now if I was superman, I wouldn't need to be invisible. I could just say, here I am, and then Dana would disrupt the safe havens and we would just have this wrapped up.

PERINO: Done.

GUTFELD: Superman being strong, I would just like go to my apartment and it would be really easy to my furniture around, like to look under the fridge to see if there is anything underneath it.

GUILFOYLE: And you can remodel your apartment so you wouldn't be homeless all the time.

GUTFELD: Exactly. That's true. Or I could spin the earth so you go back in time to yesterday and not have that chili.

PERINO: Or before the flood.

GUTFELD: Before the -- that's right, before the flood. Missy C, oh, this is really a good one. If you could be a character in any fiction book, who would you be and why? I will start with KG.

PERINO: I got a good one.

GUILFOYLE: If I could be a character?

GUTFELD: Yes, in any fiction book.

GUILFOYLE: Fiction book.

GUTFELD: This is where you can be really edgy and say something about -- never mind.

GUILFOYLE: No, well, I don't want to be edgy. You know what I love? I love "Little House on a Prairie."

GUTFELD: Yes. You'll do great, little -- I'm the prairie.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: You're right. Hair and makeup. The prairie.

GUILFOYLE: No, I would need food.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

GUILFOYLE: I need the food.

GUTFELD: Yeah. What about you, Juan?

GUILFOYLE: Get my call.

GUTFELD: Fiction book.

GUILFOYLE: Phone calls.

WILLIAMS: Well, you know, I think invisible man is the greatest work of fiction, American fiction in the 20th century, but I really identify with the character. I mean, I identify with people who are like great detectives like Robert Parker Spencer. And those kind of people, yeah.

GUTFELD: Pulp. I like pulp.

WILLIAMS: You like "Pulp Fiction?"

GUTFELD: Yeah. The Jim Thompson novels are the best thing in the world. But I don't want to be in those novels. No one ends well. No one lives. What about you?

WATTERS: Having a really hard time.

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: Thinking of a fictional character. I'm trying to be really intelligent.

(LAUGHTER)

GUILFOYLE: Good luck!

PERINO: Your mom is waiting (ph).

WATTERS: Oh, I just keep thinking a puppet (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: I don't know.

GUTFELD: You like middle earth.

WATTERS: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: Is that the only book you read or movie you saw?

WATTERS: I always read non-fiction so it's limiting my choices.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Dana?

PERINO: I was going to go with Maggie Hope from the Maggie Hope series. She is the first woman in my five agents. And there are like eight books now. I love these books. The Maggie Hope series.

GUTFELD: Oh, that's nice.

PERINO: Yes. She worked with Churchill.

GUILFOYLE: I think we decided something. You're going to need to give the question ahead of time.

WILLIAMS: Jesse is crying. It's Friday night. It's okay, buddy.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: I would be in "Lady Chatterly's Lover."

WATTERS: Oh, God, Greg.

GUTFELD: Nobody even knows what that book is. That's how old I am. It was the first "Fifty Shades of Grey."

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: Superman's special powers.

GUTFELD: "One More Thing" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Time now for "One More Thing." Kimberly's is most important, but I will go first. Two Pittsburgh Penguins fans have the luckiest moment of their lives on Wednesday night. Amy Santora (ph) got this text message from an unknown number offering her ticket to the Stanley Cup's playoffs between Penguins and the Nashville Predators. She called the number and the man on the other end said he sent the text to the wrong number.

It turns out she had two sets of tickets and offered Cara (ph) and her husband Mike tickets to the game for free. Tickets were priced at $329. Santora (ph) and her husband took the man up on the offer and rushed to the arena and were given seats behind the goalie. That's a really nice thing, right? Really nice. All right. Jesse?

WATTERS: So last month, I went down to Texas to drain the swamp with the star, T-Roy, of Swamp People. So, I had to pay him back because he humiliated me. Brought T-Roy to New York. Swamp strikes back. You are going to see that on Watters' World on Saturday night at 8 o'clock. Here's a clip.

(START VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Any advice for him? Never been on subway.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Don't touch anything.

WATTERS: Don't' touch that.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everybody is looking at us. Is it because I voted for Trump?

WATTERS: You got Trump written all over you. Feel better?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm going to kneel down and kiss the ground right now.

WATTERS: Easy now, I don't want your lips touching the ground.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right. There it is.

PERINO: He looks pretty good.

WATTERS: Watters' World at 8 o'clock eastern.

GUILFOYLE: He's a nice guy.

WILLIAMS: Nice guy.

GUILFOYLE: (inaudible) president...

WATTERS: Yes, he did.

PERINO: Juan?

WILLIAMS: Time to say good-bye to one of our Fox News colleagues, Ms. Jenna Lee. Jenna is one of the first faces at Fox Business Network making her debut on October of 2007, the same day that our sister network launched. Look at her. During her 10 years here, Jenna has covered variety of stories.

Everything from the statue of liberty, George Washington Bridge, and much more. She is saying good-bye after 10 years and, you know what, she has been a fantastic journalist. So, Jenna, all the best from all of us here at Fox News.

GUILFOYLE: All the best.

PERINO: All right, Greg.

GUTFELD: All right. Saturday night, 10 o'clock. We got a juicy of a show. I got Lawrence Sutton (ph), Joe DeVito, (inaudible) is going to kick your eyes out. Anyway. Let's look at this. Greg's Etiquette News. All right. Here's the tip.

When you are at the gym or when somebody is working out, let's roll this, it is really important that when somebody is doing yoga or any kind of provocative exercise that you don't sit and stare. Staring at people at the gym is...

GUILFOYLE: That's not gym.

GUTFELD: It is a gym but that was (inaudible) yoga lady. That's a gym, Kimberly. Stay out of my "One More Thing."

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Anyway. Look at them. They are staring at her. That's rude. Disgusting stalkers.

GUILFOYLE: Talk about getting mad at other stalkers. Greg, please. All right. It's time for "Kimberly's Food Court." I love it. Okay. This is fun. Today is a very special day. You would have thought that it was (inaudible) today but indeed it is not (inaudible). It is National Doughnut Day.

Here are some doughnut facts from our brain room, so must be true. Donuts were known as oily cake. They were introduced (inaudible) New Amsterdam. First doughnut recipe appeared in 1803. But this is interesting for the Russian conspiracy theory. First time the machine was invented in 1920 in New York City by a Russian refugee Adolph Lettit. Did you know that?

WILLIAMS: No.

GUTFELD: These are from Dunkin' Donuts which I think is fantastic. I just stopped by there on Monday.

WILLIAMS: It has heart.

PERINO: I'm going to take one.

GUILFOYLE: Which one do you want?

PERINO: The little mocha one. All right. Set your DVR so you never miss an episode of "The Five." "Hannity" is up next.

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