Forget about the Associated Press naming Tiger Woods "Athlete of the Decade," guess who'll be Sports Illustrated's "Athlete of the Year"?
You're lookin' at him, sports fans: Cavuto. The cover; oggle and toggle, Tiger.
Oh, you didn't hear? Grizzled is the new chiseled; fat is where it's at.
If Ben Bernanke can be Time's person of the year for supposedly rescuing us from a crisis that many say he helped create and the president can get a Nobel Peace Prize for some lasting peace initiatives, to my mind, he didn't create, then create this vision in your head: Yours truly, swigging a six-pack rather than sporting a six-pack on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
And before you say, fat chance that'll ever happen, then take a fat old look around you. I mean, just what are the performance measures for these big honors today? Showing up? The president in office a mere nine days before the Oslo guys said, "We really like that guy. Let's give him a Nobel."
And the Fed chief: Love the guy, but to say his trillions of dollars in financial rescues for which our grandchildren and great grandchildren will be paying just to cover the interest warrant making him man of the year? Man, am I confused. That's like commending the guy who started the fire, simply for calling 911.
Look, I know these prizes are discretionary, but do they also have to be daffy? Time Magazine has got it right to say Ben moved the world. And maybe the Nobel crew accurately surmised Barack inspired the world. But what in the world?
The next thing you're gonna tell me is only big government spenders who have no idea how the hell they'll pay for all their spending, get prizes.
Oh, scratch that one.
— Watch Neil Cavuto weekdays at 4 p.m. ET on "Your World with Cavuto" and send your comments to firstname.lastname@example.org
Neil Cavuto serves as senior vice president, anchor and managing editor for both FOX News Channel (FNC) and FOX Business Network (FBN). He is anchor of FNC's Your World with Cavuto - the number one rated cable news program for the 4 p.m. timeslot - as well as the FNC Saturday show Cavuto on Business. He also hosts Cavuto on FBN weeknights at 8 p.m. In addition to anchoring daily programs and breaking news specials on FNC and FBN, Cavuto oversees business news content for both networks and FNC's weekend business shows, including Bulls & Bears, Forbes on Fox, and Cashin' In. Click here for more on Neil Cavuto.