Stories where Americans or people in the media — or mainly people in Washington — just aren't using their head:

Islamic School Expansion

In northern Virginia, the only Saudi-funded school in the United States — the Islamic Saudi Academy — just won approval from the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors to expand its campus.

Now, some critics were concerned about the traffic. Others nitpicked about, you know, the school's strict adherence to traditional Islamic law, you know, anti-American, blah, blah, blah. But county officials said their decision was based on zoning issues, not on what goes on in the school's classrooms.

Phew!

The Washington Post reports that the school's religious curriculum has been revised repeatedly, removing passages that praise militant jihad and martyrdom. As late as 2007 — I might point out, six years after the World Trade Centers were nothing but a pile of dust — one textbook still said that the killing of adulterers and apostates was justified. Students, parents and teachers say the school doesn't teach intolerance or violence.

In a completely unrelated story, the academy's 1999 valedictorian, Ahmed Omar Abu Ali, was re-sentenced just last week to life in prison after being convicted in 2005 of plotting with Al Qaeda to kill the president of the United States.

But don't worry about anything, Virginia — traffic around that school is going to be fine.

Also, Raed Abdul-Rahman Al-Saif reportedly graduated from the school in 2003. He was arrested last month in a Florida airport allegedly — what, did he have a problem trying to board a plane, you know, with a 7-inch kitchen knife? What, you don't have a 7-inch kitchen knife in your house? You don't have a kitchen?

Hello, hatemonger alert!

I mean, maybe he needed to chop up some carrots on the plane.

More GM Layoffs?

General Motors spent 40 days in bankruptcy emerging leaner, stronger — we can rebuild it better, stronger, faster. It's the how many billion dollar man here? They have a new plan to turn things around, or not.

Part of the plan to turn things around includes firing — I'm sorry, offering early retirement and buyouts to — about 13,000 workers. But only about half of the 13,000 needed signed up to lose their jobs. And now, the company will almost certainly face more layoffs.

Isn't it great?

See, when we bail companies out, then we don't have to have them fire people. I mean, we could have never handled the bankruptcy. But don't worry, the American car is making a comeback.

Get Your Motor Running

Remember cars like Mustang, Wrangler, Thunderbird — tough American cars with wicked American names.

Well, Nissan is unveiling their new electric car. It is going to be made in Japan and Tennessee, but they want everybody to know that they are going to fight the stigma of being a weak electric car. This electric car is tough. It's got power. That's why they decided to name it the "Leaf."

Yes, the Leaf has debuted this week in Japan. Their press release calls it a zero-emissions car designed specifically for lithium ion battery-powered chassis.

Wow, it sounds like a beast.

It is a medium-sized hatchback that comfortably seats five adults and has ranges of more than 100 miles. Do we ever drive 100 miles? Recharging will reportedly take less than half an hour for 80 percent charge.

But Nissan has not announced how much the Leaf will cost. Boy, I can't imagine what I'd pay for the Leaf. I hope I have enough!

Beyond Reproach

If you can believe it, someone has the audacity to make fun of the president of the United States. How dare they? Posters have been showing up in Los Angeles and Atlanta, depicting Obama as the Joker and with the word "socialism" beneath -- which doesn't really make sense since the Joker was more of an anarchist.

But it has some liberals fuming -- despite what Vanity Fair did to George W. Bush.

Steven Mikulan of L.A. Weekly writes: "It has a bit of everything to appeal to the drunk tank of California conservatism: Obama is in white face, his mouth (like Ledger's Joker's) has been grotesquely slit wide open and the word "Socialism" appears below his face. The only thing missing is a noose."

Really?

You remember the outrage over the Bush's Joker picture? Do you remember that? VanityFair.com — last year? You know, outrage?

Oh, wait I remember: We can make fun of President Bush, but we can't make fun of President Obama. I get it now.

I don't agree with the poster thing, because I don't think Obama is like the Joker, except — did you see "The Dark Knight"? Do you remember the scene with the Joker, where he's got all this mob money and stuff:

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

HEATH LEDGER AS THE JOKER: I'm only burning my half. All you care about is money. This town deserves a better class of criminal. It's not about money. It's about sending a message.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

President Obama is only burning his half of the money.

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