If you ever feel like jerks always get the girl, you’re not wrong: New Austrian research confirms that women are more interested in dating guys with narcissistic personality traits.
But it’s the confidence—not narcissism—she’s really attracted to, the study suggests.
The researchers surveyed people to determine their personality traits, then sent them on a series of speed dates. After each date, the women rated whether or not they wanted to see the guy again.
The women were significantly more likely to want to date men who had narcissistic personality traits, like being vain and wanting to be the center of attention, than guys who didn’t have those traits.
Related: How to Pleasure a Woman—the Men’s Health Guide to Becoming a Master Lover
But when researchers controlled for extroverted personality traits, like being self-confident and assertive, that link disappeared.
That means that the women’s attraction to the narcissists could be explained by the guys’ outgoingness—not their vanity or self-centeredness, the researchers say.
Narcissists often make a good first impression because they act outgoing, for example, they take the lead in conversation in an effort to impress people and get attention. This can make them seem charming when they’re getting to know someone new, the researchers say.
But don’t worry: Another new study from Germany suggests that narcissists become less attractive to people once they’re in a long-term relationship. Over time, they come off as self-centered, entitled, and too competitive, the researchers say.
So forget the idea that acting like an A-hole will win over women, and instead just aim to be confident and outgoing, says study author Emanuel Jauk, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Graz in Austria.
To channel those traits, check out these 9 Easy, Effective Ways to Be More Confident With Women and How to Be the Life Of the Party.
This article originally appeared on MensHealth.com.