When it comes to sex, where your mind is becomes paramount. But where your body is can be equally important. Sure, you can have sex anywhere. But some places are decidedly sexier than others, especially if you are trying to inspire an otherwise uninspired partner.
If you feel sexy then, naturally, you’re more likely to want to have sex.
Cluttered surroundings or a less than inviting smell can really put the kibosh on any interest you might otherwise have, and it will certainly keep you from turning on the object of your affection. If you want to improve your sex life, improve your living space and create a mood that is sensual and inviting.
The key is to follow your senses. So, here are five sensual things you can do to create a sexy space.
1. Feast your eyes. Physical space is very much like mental space. If you’re thinking about a million other things, you’ll be distracted and unable to really connect with your partner. If you are living among piles of stuff, you’re more likely to feel stressed than sexy. So delete the clutter, make necessary repairs, and remove toys from view. Even if it’s only in your bedroom, create a space that whenever you lay eyes on it, you feel at peace. Wanting to connect sexually with your partner will come much easier that way.
2. Get a whiff of this. If kitty litter, last night’s fish dinner, or kids’ smelly shoes are the scents wafting through the air, it’s no wonder sex is the last thing on your mind. Why not introduce a signature smell to your bedroom? Choose something gender neutral and appealing, maybe something nature inspired like the scent of exotic white flowers from Kai or something spicy like the Jimmy candle fragrance appropriately called Sexe as opposed to sugary sweet or overly masculine. You can use a spray, a candle, whatever works. Just be sure it’s something you both enjoy and use it only in your bedroom. That way, you’ll associate the smell with getting close and being together.
3. Get your tongue involved. Taste is a very important sense when it comes to sex. So be sure to take advantage of it. Put out candy or fresh fruit in your room, something sweet and sensual. Again, a signature taste can be a great way to remind you of what’s in store. So, choose a flavor and offer it to your partner to get him or her in the mood. You might even try a flavored lotion or body dust so that your skin will be as tasty as any candy store goodie.
4. Touch me. Appealing to the sense of touch is imperative when it comes to sex. So, make everything in your bedroom soft and sensual -- from your own skin to the bed you slip into each night. Splurge on rich linens, even if it’s just one super soft blanket. Put down soft, downy rugs on either side of the bed. Slip into silky pajamas or lingerie, even something less obvious like bamboo pajamas can be alluring because they are so soft. Your room and your skin should inspire your sense of touch. So, lavish it accordingly.
5. Music to your ears. Whether you turn on the tunes or employ a sound machine that plays the sounds of the jungle and the sea, just be sure your ears are filled with soothing, sexy sounds. Kids whining, dogs barking and appliances running do not make a romantic soundtrack. Remember making mix tapes back in high school? Employ the 2010 version and create a playlist on your iPod or computer. Every time you or your partner hear it, you both can imagine what’s to come. Let your ears lead the way.
Anything can be sexy. It’s all a matter of taste. But one thing is for sure: When your senses are initiated, it can be the perfect gateway to initiating your sexuality. What you see, smell, taste, touch and hear can make all the difference when it comes to upping the bedroom ante.
Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas. She is the author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage." Her work appears in "One Big Happy Family," edited by Rebecca Walker, and "It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters," edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her website at www.jennyonthepage.com or check out her blog at www.jennyonthepage.blogspot.com.