Don't these two realize they're not on "Melrose Place" anymore?

In what sounds like a plot line for their classic prime time time soap, Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner have called off their engagement after years off on-again, off-again dating.

"Jack and Heather are no longer engaged," Locklear's rep told TooFab.com.

The news comes a mere three months after they announced their engagement after several years as (mostly) a couple.

The mature duo were last seen in September in Hawaii for Locklear's 50th birthday. Wagner is 52.

(Aren't the getting too old for this?)

The questions about their union were raised after Locklear appeared at the "Breaking Dawn" premiere Monday sans engagement ring.

At least they didn't pull a Kardashian and split weeks AFTER marrying.

And for that, we thank them.