This is a rush transcript from "The Five," January 5, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
JESSE WATTERS, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Geraldo Rivera, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5:00 in New York City, and this is "The Five." The book that shook Washington and ended the relationship between President Trump and Steve Bannon hits stores at midnight despite cease and desist orders to keep it from publication. This morning, author Michael Wolff was very appreciative of all the free promotions from the president and his lawyers.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: What I say is where do I send the box of chocolates?
UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: You think he's helping you sell books?
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Absolutely. I mean, and not only he's helping me sell books but he's helping me prove the point of the book.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: The White House calls Fire and Fury a work of fiction. Mr. Trump said he authorized zero White House access to Wolff and never spoke to him for his, quote, phony book. It's full of lies, misrepresentations and sources that don't exist. Look at this guy past and watch what happens to him and sloppy Steve. Back to that new nickname in a moment. But first, Wolff challenges the president's interview denial.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: I absolutely spoke to the president. Whether he realized it was an interview or not, I don't know. But it's certainly was not off the record.
UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: You spoke to him at the White House after he was sworn in?
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: I spoke to him after the inauguration, yes. And I have spoken to -- I mean, I've spent about 3 hours with the president over the course of the campaign and in the White House. So, my window into Donald Trump is pretty significant.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Why don't we see if Sarah Sanders can settle it?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS, DEPUTY PRESS SECRETARY: We said they spoke once by the phone for a few minutes, but it wasn't about the book. They had a very short conversation. But he never interviewed the president about the book. He repeatedly begged to speak with the president and was denied access. And he makes it sound like he was sitting outside of the oval office every single day which is just not the case. This is a guy who made up a lot of stories to try to sell books. And I think more and more people are starting to see that his facts just simply don't add up.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: OK. Kimberly, before we get your take on recent developments I like to ask you about the new nickname, and where do you think sloppy Steve rank in the hierarchy of Trumps nicknames?
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: I don't think it is as good as Pocahontas or lying Ted --
WATTERS: It's good though.
GUILFOYLE: It's pretty good.
WATTERS: It's pretty good.
GUILFOYLE: Because it conjurors up the image of a sloppy Joe, big messy sandwich or like -- I don't know. It's not -- right? Doesn't it? But it's not something I'd be happy with if I was Steve Bannon, because it just suggests sort of a sloppily disheveled appearance. So, it's not a -- shall we say, charming.
GUILFOYLE: Affectionate nickname.
WATTERS: Not the best one. And Geraldo, you were kind of mumbling yourself when we're listening to the soundbite about the access of this guy got and kind of ridiculing the fact that he only got 3 hours in the course of, what, 9 months?
GERALDO RIVERA, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: It's more than 9 months because the campaign began in 2015, so what you have is 3 hours. But that is not 3 hours of Michael Wolff speaking with President Trump or President-elect Trump or candidate Trump. That's being in the presence of Donald Trump, the man that he absolutely analyzing as if he were a shrink and says things. I have to say that yesterday my wrath was directed at the Benedict Arnold-Steve Bannon who absolutely had behaved traitorously to the family that entrusted him. Today, I really -- and I don't generally like criticizing reporters, but Michael Wolff said something that I think begs exploration and analysis. Michael Wolff said, and I'm quoting, 100 percent of the people around Donald Trump, senior advisors, family members, every single one of them questions his intelligence and fitness for office. Really? Every single one of the family members of -- this is a patent lie. This is absolutely untrue.
And at some point, even people on the left have to admit as the Washington Post did today when they questioned whether he got access at all under false pretenses. Everyone watching has to question every single one of the president's family. So Ivanka who Michael Wolff said was dumb as rocks. She questions the --Ivanka questions the intelligence and fitness of her father for office? This is not true. And it is unfair. It is so screamingly inequitable to accuse the president of being someone who lacks intelligent and fitness for office and then says every one of his own family agrees with me, the author --
GUILFOYLE: We know for a fact that they don't think that.
GUILFOYLE: They loved their father.
RIVERA: Everybody knows that. It's logical. You know that it is untrue.
WATTERS: It's riddle with a lot of dishonest reporting, and we put to some of those examples. But they did let the fox into the henhouse, Dana, for a long time. So, they do share a little responsibility for this salacious report.
DANA PERINO, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Yeah. I mean, one of the things that he said this morning was he kept waiting for someone to say why are you in this meeting? And it's just inconceivable to me that this actually happened in the first place.
GUILFOYLE: Not true.
PERINO: But remember at the very beginning, they didn't have a White House communications director. It was unclear who was responsible for what. And Sean Spicer's role was not only press secretary but also communication director. It's impossible in my opinion to do both and to do both well if you don't have people there that are looking out for you. And they really did a disservice to the president like whoever decided to let him in. And then, no one was able to say I don't think we should have him here. Maybe they didn't even know. Maybe they thought it was just part of the show. That said, I think he wouldn't have access to the West Wing if he wasn't granted. He can't get in there. It's like we can't just walk up and ring the doorbell and get in.
RIVERA: But can Steve Bannon grant him that kind of carte blanche?
RIVERA: Can Steve Bannon by hanging with him, hey, buddy, what's up?
PERINO: Sure. And here's another thing I don't believe either --
RIVERA: Me and Mike, you know, here we are hanging out together.
PERINO: Well, I think that they thought it might be positive. One of the things that Michael Wolff did leading up to the election was to write a couple of pieces that were very flattering about President Trump and saying how intelligent he was and how he was going to be able to pinpoint what the American people wanted and how he was able to win. And so, that was one of the ways that he got his foot in the door. And again, I don't blame him. And then he writes this book. I heard a couple of things also that are like factually wrong. Like one thing about Mitch McConnell, there's a report in there that he declined to take a meeting because he needed to get a haircut. And his office said that's ridiculous. That never happened. The one thing I think that is a little bit of a danger is that he said -- he says, and I don't know if he'll reveal any, but he has notes and recordings and contemporary reports. And so, if you were one of those people that thought you were talking to him off the record and you get burned in this book, you might be really cautious about saying it never happened, because then you'd be super more embarrassed. It's better to just let it go and try to move on.
WATTERS: So how damaging is it, Greg?
GREG GUTFELD, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: I don't know. What he said he was in Trump's presence for 3 hours. I think he was talking about 3 reruns of "The Apprentice."
GUTFELD: He was watching in his hotel room. What a preferred -- I don't - -this is a preferable problem to have. Let's compare two situations. Hillary had a book out telling everyone why she lost. Wolff's book is telling you what happened after Trump won. Which book if you were Donald Trump would you prefer to have? OK?
GUTFELD: I think I would take the victory book. Who cares? And by the way, Democrats, you're laughing at this stuff, you're laughing at all of this stuff that you're reading about, about him being impetuous impulsive a child. How does it feel to be beaten by somebody like that who has less knowledge, less knowledge and specialty -- of the expertise of your candidate? Your politician got beaten by a non-politician Queens' salesman. Salesman from Queens. That's hilarious.
GUILFOYLE: That's in your face.
GUTFELD: The epiphany, the big juicy gossip here because I think Jesse and Geraldo and I will understand this. The big juicy gossip here is that Trump is like a child. We are all that. Every man has been told by their wife or, Geraldo, wives, that we are children.
GUTFELD: Men are children. Men generally are -- who want things a certain way. Who are impatient, you know. Who don't have time to even read. In fact, just telling you what I need to know. We act like children. I'm reminded of this every day. In fact, that's a compliment.
GUTFELD: You would say about me, you would say something worse, like I'm a child from the Omen or the Exorcist.
GUILFOYLE: Or both.
GUTFELD: Everybody who's a supervisor, who's ever been a boss, they know everybody beneath you says crap about you because they're supposed to. It's a release. As in when there is a changeover -- when a team in the pre-season is undergoing a change in personnel because they lose and now they're getting new people in, half of those people that are just grouchy. They're just saying I hate -- they're the guys that go. They always end up going, and then the other people stay. There's chaos in a change of personnel. This is all normal. And all he did -- he got in there and got to watch it. That was a mistake.
GUILFOYLE: But that's the problem to begin with as we've said yesterday. Why was he allowed this access to walk around, fly in the wall, listen in, overhear conversations? I mean, it's really to me unbelievable that nobody actually said, hey, buddy, take a hike.
GUTFELD: I do like Dr. Evil's glasses, though.
WATTERS: That's your nickname for Wolff?
GUTFELD: Yeah. Dr. Evil.
PERINO: I think one of the things is what have we all learned this week? Never cooperate with a book especially if you're in the middle of an administration if you actually have something going on. It well never turned out well. Years ago, when I was deputy press secretary one time, I was Karl Rove spokesperson, among other things. He was one of my responsibilities. And a reporter, well known, from a very liberal magazine came in and said, I think Karl gets a bum rap and I like to do a profile piece that talks about Karl's great and Karl's is super smart. I was charmed, right. I went to the White House communications director I said I like to give him a shot. And Dan Barlow said knock yourself out. And I pulled out all the stops, interviews, 3rd party back up, brunch, I did everything. This piece ran. It was the meanest thing I have ever read in my life and it was my fault.
PERINO: I've never spoken to him after.
GUILFOYLE: He's in the deep freeze.
WATTERS: So they seduce you and then they tell you everything you want to hear, and then they get in and it is a hatchet job.
RIVERA: I just want to say one thing about what Dana mentioned about recording and so forth. In my opinion, during the time he's in the White House I don't think he can have a recorder on him --
PERINO: On your phone?
RIVERA: I know you can do it. But I think this guy is much more of a schmooze --
GUTFELD: And he's the worst kind of friend. Don't tell him anything.
WATTERS: Yeah. He's not a friend.
PERINO: I also don't believe this report that just came out this afternoon. I'm sure that they are hearing this, but I don't believe that it's true.
PERINO: Axios put out a report that said Steve Bannon was thinking about putting out a statement that disavowed the book and his quotes, but the president's statement beat him to it, and therefore he didn't do it. I don't believe that. I don't believe he was going to do that because there were hours and hours that lapsed between that book coming out and the president's statement. And if you want to get it in front of it and not cause a problem --
GUILFOYLE: Well, he obviously delayed and didn't do it. But that's one of the things that was said that he was working on and they start issuing the statement and said forget it. Why not do it right away?
GUILFOYLE: Well, that's the best he could do the next day because if there are tapes he cannot say or disavow that he didn't do it or he didn't say it. He didn't make all of these comments. He knows himself if he said it, right? And in any way shape or form this guy has it on a recording, he's screwed. The best thing you can say is the president is a great man the next day.
RIVERA: I think Bannon is screwed regardless.
GUTFELD: Speaking of, could you imagine if a reporter like Michael Wolff was inside the Clinton White House in the '90s? I mean, could you imagine with a recorder, watching the girls go in and go out and what was going on in the Oval Office. What kind of book -- this is nothing --
WATTERS: Those are the tapes that we definitely need.
PERINO: What was the book that just came out about the Hillary Clinton campaign -- the Politico book, remember the two authors?
PERINO: He's shattered and the Clinton campaign was furious because it talked about all of them speaking badly about each other, about the candidate, and like these things happen and you can get through it.
WATTERS: Right. Well, the president given it so much attention that the book now is going to be number one bestseller --
RIVERA: He regrets that.
WATTERS: -- for better or worse. All right. The New Year has got even worse for Hillary, though. Stay tuned.
GUILFOYLE: Yesterday, we told you the justice department may have launched a new investigation into Hillary Clinton's email. Today, we confirmed they also launch a probe into whether her family foundation exchange any political favors for donations while she was secretary of state. The pay to play probe means three possible investigations are now underway involving Hillary. Uranium One is the 3rd. The White House is pleased that the DOJ and FBI are taking this on.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS, DEPUTY PRESS SECRETARY: I think it's a great thing that it is being looked at. We'll have to wait and see what happens. But there are certainly been a lot of information out there that I think gives all of us cause for concern. And I think it's important that they're finally taking a look at it. We'll see what comes from it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: In a statement the Clinton foundation said time after time it's been subjected to politically-motivated allegations. And time after time these allegations have been proven false. None of this had made us waiver in our mission to help people. All right. Jesse, so get your take on the three investigations, and then the communication response from the Clinton team?
WATTERS: The foundation has done good work, but it's shady. Everybody knows it's shady. The allegation is a racketeering charge it looks like. Where you exploit and monetize your power as secretary of state in order to enrich yourself, enrich your friends, skirt fund-raising laws, campaign finance laws. And there are FBI agents now on the ground in Little Rock, Arkansas, where the foundation was founded asking a lot of tough but fair questions. And I rightfully believe the hidden people are very worried about this. Very worried about it. Everybody knew what was going on when she did this. She concealed a lot of the donation that she got as secretary of state. She was supposed to tell the Obama administration who was donating, how much they were donating. She had to go back and re-file years and years of taxes.
GUILFOYLE: Very sloppy.
WATTERS: She hid $20 million in donations she was supposed to report, she didn't. So there's obviously something fishy there. But to be fair, I do still think this is politics. This is the president or his justice department leaning on the Clintons because he's been unfairly hit on the Russia collusion garbage. I don't want to see Hillary locked up. I don't know. A lot of people probably don't agree, but it just seems like they're criminalizing politics, obviously, with pay to play. But you know what, that's politics.
GUILFOYLE: Well, that doesn't make it legal.
WATTERS: Doesn't make it legal. But you know I'm just so sick of everybody threatening to go to jail.
GUILFOYLE: OK. All right. So Dana, what do you make of it because, you know, those criticism saying, like Jesse said, that this is politics. That this is, you know, you punch me, I punch you back twice as hard.
PERINO: Well, I was skeptical of it for similar reasons. But John -- the former DOJ officials, he was on the Daily Briefing show today, and I asked him about is that a concern? And he said that he thinks the Clinton Foundation, one in particular, is on the merit.
PERINO: I think the Uranium One thing is not. But I took his word for that, that if they find something they should go ahead and follow it up. But if I were at the White House, I would not say I think this is a good thing because that's the allegation that you're trying to push it. Instead, just say you have to ask the justice department. There the ones looking into it, like we have no involvement, because every time they talk about it, it looks like they are pushing the justice department to do something in order to save Jeff Sessions.
GUILFOYLE: Right. And Greg, so if there's criminality here at play you've got to investigate it. You've got to take it through to its fruition. You can't just say, OK, well, maybe just let it go. We don't want to lock her up because she's a woman or because of her age. I don't abide by that, OK.
GUILFOYLE: But the point is, follow the law, follow the law and the facts and do a full and thorough investigation. And if need be then you proceed forward, career of Jeff Sessions or not.
GUTFELD: I mean, the Clintons we know are shadier than Michael Moore's shadow --
GUTFELD: -- because he's big. You get it?
GUILFOYLE: I've got it.
GUTFELD: Here's the thing, everything you say is correct. Let's compare the stories to A to B, A-block to B-block. Trump isn't about corruption, it's about chaos, right? Hillary isn't about chaos, it's about corruption. What story is more important? Obviously, corruption. What story is more fun, chaos. So the Clinton scandal that's the vegetables. And the Trump's story is the ice cream sundae, and everybody loves an ice cream sundae and they all hates vegetables. Everything you say is true. But I'm kind of with Jesse and with Geraldo --
GUTFELD: It's hard to start eating vegetables when you had so much ice cream. I'm full of scandal
GUILFOYLE: It depends on what you dip them in.
GUTFELD: If you dip the vegetables in the ice cream --
RIVERA: That's gross. I think going over Hillary Clinton's emails is like calling up your prom date from high school. It is so over --
GUILFOYLE: Oh, they don't think so, believe me.
RIVERA: I think that they, you know, maybe with the Clinton because it is so big. I went to one of their conventions here at the Hilton. It was the move lavish thing I had ever seen. They had rugs specially made --
RIVERA: There's so much money being spent by the foundation that it seems to me as a person who run many, many charitable organization, it seems lavish. There're never been subpoenas, as far as I know, in terms of the Clinton foundation, and maybe that has some justifications. But the emails, but please, forget about these emails already --
GUTFELD: What do you have in there, Geraldo?
GUILFOYLE: That's in the vault.
GUILFOYLE: Trump bashing is a favorite pastime of Hollywood elite, but the host of the Golden Globes said he won't mocking the president on Sunday. Do you believe Seth Meyers? Next.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: That's right. Trump claims he invented the phrase tax cuts. That is so fake. The only thing that would be more fake is claiming you came up with the word fake.
President Trump reportedly joked to house Republicans today that he only likes between 30 to 40 percent of them. Don't worry, he said that all the time to his kids.
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Former President Obama will meet with the leaders of China and India during an upcoming trip abroad, while President Trump will meet who he thinks are the leaders of China and India.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
RIVERA: Funny but so mean. Really, so cruel. It's late night talk hosts, Seth Meyers, of course, and he doesn't miss a chance to tear into President Trump on his show. So you would expect that he would let it rip when he host the Golden Globes Awards this weekend. Even though he will be performing in front of a crowd of celebrities most of whom are passionately anti-Trump, the comedian is indicating that he will be skipping the political jokes on Sunday. That's what at least he told the Hollywood reporter. I am reserving the right to change my mind, he said. But especially this year with everything that happened in Hollywood, it's seems far more important to have the focus there and opposed to anything that is happening in Washington, D.C. You know, Greg, I was in the audience in 2011 --
GUTFELD: You're everywhere
GUILFOYLE: I know.
RIVERA: The reason it is relevant is Seth Meyers was the host. President Obama and Seth Meyers together they attacked President Trump -- or businessman Donald Trump in the audience in a way that was so absolutely vicious. I'm convinced that's where Donald Trump made up his mind to run for the White House in 2011. Do you believe that Hollywood, generally, or Seth Meyers, specifically, can refrain from attacking Donald Trump?
GUTFELD: You know, he almost has no choice because Hollywood is now the sanctuary cities for sexual assault. Therefore, they -- their moral standing in the world. No longer can Hollywood tell us what to eat, what to drive, how to talk, because they are a city of scum. And half the audience knew what was going on. By the way, they should have -- they should have picked a woman to host the Golden Globes. He's close. No, he's a beta male. He's a beta male.
GUILFOYLE: My God.
GUTFELD: He speaks from the back of his throat. And he's safer than the gold in Fort Knox. He's not going to offend anybody there. He's going to go out there; he's going to say some solemn words. And everybody in the audience, they're all going to nod along, and they'll go, "You know, we really learned; this is a learning moment for all of us. A teachable moment for all of us in Hollywood. And we're all going to change." But they all knew. They all knew.
WATTERS: Teachable moment. Is that a banned phrase?
GUTFELD: I banned it a while ago.
GUILFOYLE: But he hasn't re-banned it in 2018.
GUTFELD: Yes, I have to go and re-ban everything.
GUILFOYLE: Interesting that you know beta males so well.
GUTFELD: Well, I've been around a few. You married a couple.
WATTERS: Oh! It's hot in here.
GUILFOYLE: Finally, you got me. Finally.
RIVERA: You've got black on. A widow would be wearing black. You know, make a political statement.
GUTFELD: He was a Democrat, Kimberly.
RIVERA: Do you -- do you think that -- you know, "Oscars so white," remember that a couple years ago...
RIVERA: ... where they were complaining about the fact that people, actors of color weren't getting enough roles or enough, you know, nominations and so forth. Does politics take away the entertainment value or is it an important platform to make a point?
GUILFOYLE: Look, I think it's -- you should be respectful of the office of the presidency that people don't seem to be, like across the board as it relates to the presidency of Donald Trump. They weren't as it relates to the candidacy of Donald Trump at the time. But look, they're going to make their jokes. You have to have -- take things in stride. He has had a particularly good attitude, given the fact that he is constantly made fun of or belittled, et cetera. So...
RIVERA: Donald Trump?
GUILFOYLE: Donald Trump. Yes, absolutely.
But in some of these awards shows, it comes back to bite them if they go too over the top, I've noticed. And people in different charity events, like comedians, go forward that have tried to make personal attacks against the president, and it didn't work. And I've seen that happen. Like, George Lopez did it. It backfired on him. So you have to be very careful kind of how you handle it and how it comes across.
RIVERA: And yet, that audience, Dana, is so obviously liberal, progressive, anti-Trump. It is almost inevitable, isn't it? I mean, can -- they think it's funny.
PERINO: Well, I think it's going to be is that it will be a sly situation. OK? Because he knows his audience. So he won't actually say the joke. It will be some sort of joke or jokes with double meaning. And then it will be followed by a pause that goes on for a beat too long until everybody gets it and they all start laughing. But no one will be able to say that he actually made a joke about Donald Trump.
RIVERA: Can it be a funny kind of atmosphere? I mean, they had drinking games in the past. I mean, Ricky Gervais is so funny. They got drunk as the show progressed.
WATTERS: I might be drunk if I watch it, because it's not going to be very good. So you can't make fun of Trump. You can't make Harvey Weinstein jokes, obviously. PC culture is now crazy. You can't make any sort of racy joke at all. They have nothing left to say. So that's why I'm looking forward to the real awards show on Monday, the Fake News Award by...
WATTERS: Hosted by Donald Trump at 5 p.m. Tune in.
GUILFOYLE: Ratings bonanza.
WATTERS: That's right.
RIVERA: I just want to clarify, when you said that Hollywood was scum, do you mean that...?
GUTFELD: Not everybody. I mean...
RIVERA: But do you mean for what they are covering up?
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I probably should -- I probably should pull that back a little bit, because there are a lot of fine people there that, you know, aren't Harvey Weinstein. But there are a lot of people that knew about it.
You know, I have this fantasy that Harvey Weinstein is driving back from JFK and his drive -- his car breaks down. And he's in Queens, and he goes into an Italian restaurant, gets some meatballs, and there's Paul Sorvino, sitting at the table.
GUTFELD: And maybe he's with Joe Pesci. And it's settled there forever.
RIVERA: Put De Niro there, too. Might as well.
GUTFELD: Yes. Although whose -- I don't know whose side De Niro's on.
RIVERA: Why perfectionism can be hazardous to your health. That's next.
PERINO: Welcome back. No one is perfect, but the struggle to get there is causing a lot of distress for youth in America, according to new research.
Perfectionism is making many millennials and Generation Z-ers, like those younger than millennials, anxious, depressed and sick, impacting their abilities to succeed in their careers, more so than other generations.
Why? Part of it is due to social media pressure. They fail to measure up to their peers. The study also pinpoints harsh economic conditions and the need to please demanding parents.
Every year I write a column for millennials with some advice. You can check it out on FoxNews.com. And I'm going to do a little Facebook Q&A tomorrow at 2 p.m. for anyone who needs more advice. But why wait for that when you can get it right here...
PERINO: From all of these fine people that are very successful? Jesse, you're the closest to the millennial. I'll let you give them advice.
WATTERS: Thank you. I understand why the pursuit of perfection can be worrisome, because when you're taking the selfies...
WATTERS: It takes, like, 1,000 takes to get a good one.
GUILFOYLE: I notice you perfected the angle that your -- top in?
WATTERS: Yes, high and wide. And then when you post it, everybody else on Instagram or anything looks perfect, because they have all the little filters. And they -- you know, they take hours to do it. So you just feel really depressed. So don't go on these social media websites day after day after day. That would be...
PERINO: They go 100 times a day.
WATTERS: They go way too much.
Second piece of advice, don't just chase the job for the cash. Do what you like, and you'll end up liking what you do. It's cheesy, but it's true. And then when you do have the job, don't expect to be promoted within the first six months.
PERINO: Well, that was actually, Greg, in this article.
WATTERS: You've got to put some time in.
PERINO: They said that after eight months they start getting restless and itchy, and they feel like they're not contributing enough and they're not appreciated enough, so then they want to quit.
GUTFELD: This story comes up every generation.
GUTFELD: It happened in the '60s, the disaffected '70s. I think it skipped the '80s.
PERINO: Yes, they were awesome.
GUTFELD: The '90s was the grunge movement. Everybody was sad and wearing plaid. Not plaid. What do you call it?
WATTERS: Yes, they wore those plaid shirts.
GUTFELD: Flannel, they wear flannel. What I call outdoor plaid. Anyway. Outdoor plaid.
WATTERS: That's awesome.
GUTFELD: All right. I don't want to mix this with, like, the clinical depression that actually exists. These are -- this is the expected unease when you are young. And it happens -- and it happens now even more, because you have more time to think, because you have more leisure time. People are marrying later. So you're kind of putting off a lot of stuff.
Plus, you are -- you're matching yourself up against a lot of people out there, and you're getting this mixed-up idea that they're doing better than you are. But they really aren't.
A lot of people who put stuff on social networks are doing it because they aren't doing well. It's a way for them to -- to tell themselves, "Look at me. I'm doing OK." When, in fact, it's -- they're kind of sad.
Life is better now than it's ever been in the history of the world. You're living longer. It's healthier. You have more opportunities. You can move wherever you want. You don't like your city, you can go somewhere else. That's the beauty. You can be -- four hours you could be in another country. You could change your name. You could change your sex. My God, you have everything at your fingertips.
GUILFOYLE: What are you waiting for?
GUTFELD: I don't know. I'm waiting for both of us to do something together.
GUILFOYLE: He's the perfect choice for me, third husband.
GUTFELD: You know what's interesting? Fatalism is contagious. It's like you don't want to indulge people feeling gloomy. I always think, like, how many -- how many suicides were caused by "Romeo and Juliet"? Did you ever wonder?
WATTERS: Never thought about it.
GUTFELD: Think about it.
PERINO: Geraldo, does this kind of thing drive you crazy?
RIVERA: I never pondered that fact.
RIVERA: You know, with the two millennials, Dana.
And a Gen Z. Z.
PERINO: And a Z.
RIVERA: I really do think that Jesse is right. I really believe that social media has really upped the ante quite a bit. It's like the kids, this one is wearing this. This one went this place on vacation. Look how happy everybody always is. You know, how stylish. How -- you know, do I measure up?
I really worry, particularly about the 12 years old, about Sol, that it's not about that. I really think that parenting is more important now than ever and making the kids put the screens down. You've got to put that down. I mean, Sol knows when I come into the room, there's got to be a really good reason why she's doing that? "Honey, why? What's this? A list? A list of this, of that?"
PERINO: Like why didn't they -- if somebody is not following me.
Kimberly, you have a very healthy approach to social media.
GUILFOYLE: Thank you so much.
PERINO: You do not care.
GUTFELD: She has somebody else do it.
GUILFOYLE: No. Here's the thing. I actually don't care.
GUILFOYLE: Because people are going to write stuff.
GUILFOYLE: They're going to say stuff. But what are you going to do? I mean, I feel very happy, confident, secure in myself.
RIVERA: You can't read the comments.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. And that's it. So it's there. I participate. I have a lot of followers. I appreciate them following. There's going to be people who are incredibly nice and gracious, and there's going to be people that obviously have something wrong with themselves or not going well in their life, and they want to try to be mean-spirited.
I feel sorry for you.
PERINO: But what would you advise these young people?
GUILFOYLE: I would say that, you know, really develop your own interests and look for yourself -- you know, from within for happiness. And don't make it how many dollars do I have or, you know, how many friends, or how many people are texting me back? Or because, you know, you're just going, chasing them down a rabbit hole. It's not a good idea. It's not healthy psychologically.
WATTERS: But we want them to follow up on Instagram. That's OK.
GUTFELD: But this is not about a generation. We're talk -- this is a different story. We're talking about how we're worried about artificial intelligence. We're embracing this. We're embracing this into our lives. So the idea that it's just a problem with kids. We're all...
PERINO: So much so that guess what? I just said the Juan...
GUTFELD: "Guess what?"
PERINO: "Facebook Friday" is coming right up.
GUTFELD: Oh, that's great. "Facebook Friday" is up.
(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE (singing): In the valley of the Jolly Green Giant.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm going fishing today. If anything new happens, call me.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I know. Hey, "Facebook Friday," the first one of the year. Let's begin. OK? I can hear you talking to me.
All right. Question from Cathy N. There is such a good question: "Give your life the title of a blockbuster movie."
PERINO: Oh, I know Kimberly's.
GUTFELD: You know Kimberly's?
GUILFOYLE: Why? What is it? You give me mine, then.
PERINO: "Wonder Woman."
GUTFELD: Geraldo's would be "I wonder: where's the women?"
RIVERA: "Geraldo of Arabia." That's right.
GUTFELD: Interesting. But you're Puerto Rican.
RIVERA: I spent a lot of time...
GUILFOYLE: That's a small detail.
RIVERA: Small detail. And Jewish.
RIVERA: And 10 percent Native-American.
GUILFOYLE: Did you go to Ancestry.com?
GUTFELD: There you go. How much money did you get for that plug? All right. Jesse.
WATTERS: I was going to say "Watters' World," but that was actually the biggest box office bomb of all time.
GUILFOYLE: Well, the remake with you.
GUTFELD: Yes. What about you?
PERINO: I'm going to do "Love, Actually."
GUTFELD: Oh, again!
WATTERS: You did that on purpose.
GUTFELD: Worst movie ever made.
GUILFOYLE: I love it. I want to lock you in a room and make you watch it.
GUTFELD: No, you don't want to do that. I would slit my wrists.
GUILFOYLE: I want to lock you in your room.
GUTFELD: That actually persuaded you even more. I'm going to say -- I'm going to say "Small Wonder."
WATTERS: Oh, that's cute.
GUILFOYLE: Tiny wonder.
RIVERA: "Small Wonder." What about "Downsizing"?
GUTFELD: Geraldo, just beat the joke into the ground, why don't you?
Linda M. -- this is a really good question. Good ones so far. "What is the one major thing that you'd like to pursue once you retire?"
Pursue, Geraldo. What major thing would you...
RIVERA: I want to take my boat from New York up the Hudson River, the Erie Canal, the Thousand Islands, the St. Lawrence River into the Great Lakes and explore the great interior of the United States.
GUTFELD: Wow. Interesting.
PERINO: He thought about this.
WATTERS: I'd like to come on Geraldo's boat.
RIVERA: You would?
WATTERS: And steal off for the ride.
RIVERA: You're welcome.
GUTFELD: I'd like to house sit when he's gone.
GUILFOYLE: You've got to get on there. Like shirtless, like -- Johnny Depp, right?
RIVERA: We'll go into those states, those 29 states.
GUTFELD: I know that Kimberly's never going to retire. But say -- let's say...
GUILFOYLE: Do you know that? I think it's really inconceivable.
GUTFELD: Yes, because the battery power is forever.
GUILFOYLE: In the "Westworld," it goes and goes.
GUTFELD: Exactly. Yes.
GUILFOYLE: I don't know. I mean, I don't even know what retirement would kind of, like, look like. The only -- what I think of when you say to me what would I do when I retire, I'm thinking of what other job I would want.
PERINO: Me, too.
GUTFELD: What would be...
PERINO: I want -- I really do want to go do some work in Africa. Like an ambassador to Tanzania.
GUTFELD: That's nice.
PERINO: If it's still on the list, I would like it.
GUILFOYLE: Why don't you ask him for it?
GUTFELD: You know, when I retire, I...
PERINO: Because I'd have to leave now.
RIVERA: Zanzibar's beautiful.
GUTFELD: I want to do absolutely nothing charitable when I retire.
RIVERA: You're the Grinch.
GUILFOYLE: Kind of like now.
GUTFELD: I just want -- I want to see how long I can lie in bed and eat the same sandwich until I die. And when they find me, I want to be surrounded by wrappers. And they go, "Where is he? Where? Didn't he used to be on 'The Five'?"
GUILFOYLE: Sandwich wrappers?
GUTFELD: Sandwich wrappers. And they have to get me out.
GUILFOYLE: You like the salt and pepper pork chops.
GUTFELD: All right. Jesse.
GUTFELD: Sorry, you didn't answer.
PERINO: He said. He wants...
WATTERS: I'm sailing around the world with Geraldo.
GUTFELD: The producer told me you didn't answer. Apparently, the producers are watching another show.
WATTERS: She's not paying attention.
GUILFOYLE: She thought that was a fake news answer.
WATTERS: She always tunes me out when I talk.
GUILFOYLE: Of course it's true. It's "Watters' World." He wants to go with Johnny Depp over here.
GUTFELD: This is a funny question.
WATTERS: I'll be Gilligan.
GUTFELD: This is a thought experiment, if you will. More of a thought experiment than a question...
GUILFOYLE: Let's go.
GUTFELD: ... from Joan T.: "The year is 1880." No, it's not. It's 2018! Oh, I get it. "You are 25 years old. What job would you have," 25, when you're in 1880?
PERINO: And this is, like, being realistic?
PERINO: I would have had to be a school teacher.
GUTFELD: Interesting. How sexist.
PERINO: Well, I'm just -- it's realistic.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.
1880. Geraldo, you were 14.
RIVERA: No. 1880 was the dawn of the Gilded Age. You know, there were a lot of -- there's a lot of money here in Manhattan. I would have thought of some kind of business to service all those people with all that new cash.
WATTERS: The only thing I was thinking of was I'm working on a railroad. Wasn't that the dawn of the railroad industry?
GUTFELD: Yes, it was.
GUILFOYLE: Your mom will tell you that's a dumb answer.
PERINO: And it's not to mean that school teacher is a bad thing, by the way.
GUTFELD: Everybody says that.
GUILFOYLE: I would probably not be in this country. And I would be some sort of royalty somewhere. Don't you think?
GUTFELD: You know what I'd be in 1880? Geraldo paints the picture. I'd be one of those sinister drunken louts that hang out under a street lamp and smoke a cigarette.
WATTERS: You're good at that.
GUTFELD: And then wait -- and then try to -- and then wait until somebody lives a bar at night. Shiv them!
PERINO: In Sacramento.
GUILFOYLE: So kind of like every Friday night in Hell's Kitchen.
GUTFELD: But I'd give them -- it'd be like "Gangs of New York." And I'd take their stuff.
GUTFELD: And I have a little pocket of gold. Just like a little leprechaun.
GUTFELD: Thank you. "One More Thing" is up next.
WATTERS: OK, "One More Thing." I'll go first. We're debuting a new segment on "Watters' World" this weekend. It's called "Mug Shot Mania." Here's a sneak peek.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: This guy is Noel Dawson. He was arrested in April 2017 for charging at his son with a hatchet. Now Jimmy, if this guy came at you with a hatchet, I don't know if I'd be more scared of the hatchet or his face.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The face is the weapon. If we're being clear here, oh my God.
WATTERS: That's right.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: But I was actually -- when I looked at this, he looks like what happens when you let a kid draw you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: All right. So that will be this Saturday at 8 p.m. Eastern.
There you have it.
GUILFOYLE: Thank you so much, Jesse. So we're always looking for ways to improve ourselves.
GUTFELD: Are we?
GUILFOYLE: Some of us more than others, Greg. But a great way after the holidays to be able to jump-start your metabolism is a new book by my friend Dave Zinczenko. He has 20 "New York Times" best-sellers. And it's fantastic. It's called "The Super Metabolism Diet: The Two-Week Plan to Ignite Your Fat-Burning Furnace." All right? So that's what you can do.
GUILFOYLE: I love this one in particular. It teaches you how you can lose weight while you're even sleeping. While I'm doing a "Westworld" robot power down.
GUTFELD: Well, you're not eating when you're sleeping.
GUILFOYLE: Good point.
GUTFELD: That's how you lose weight.
GUILFOYLE: Greg's always thinking.
WATTERS: They've got to buy the book first, Greg.
GUILFOYLE: And eating certain foods can really help jumpstart your metabolism to the point of someone who is half your age. So check it out. You will not be disappointed. Got the abs diet book, the "Eat This, Not That." You can see him on "GMA."
GUTFELD: Name all the books, Kimberly. We only have three minutes left.
GUILFOYLE: Some people are jealous.
GUTFELD: Tomorrow, Saturday, 10 p.m., I've got Rob O'Neill, of course, the great Rob O'Neill. You know what he did.
GUILFOYLE: The shooter.
GUTFELD: Great comedian Tom Cotter. Kat Timpf, Tyrus. Saturday, January 6, 10 p.m. Eastern Time. It will be repeated, but watch it anyway. It will be awesome, and it's brand-new.
Time for this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAPHIC: Greg's Commuter News
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: "Greg's Commuter News." You know, there's a massive snow storm going around, if you haven't noticed. The best way to get around hire an Australian Shepherd, the dog. Check this out.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(DOG PULLING SLED UP HILL WITH TEETH, THEN RIDING DOWN ON SLED)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: This dog, adorable dog, s a 3-year-old who enjoys sledding on his own. There you go. I think everyone has seen it by now.
WATTERS: I hadn't.
PERINO: So cute.
GUTFELD: Isn't that incredible?
RIVERA: Good form.
PERINO: And he takes it all the way back.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God. Better -- better than us.
GUTFELD: I can't do that.
GUILFOYLE: Like, for days the champion, like, sledder.
WATTERS: That's pretty good.
GUTFELD: All right, Dana.
PERINO: OK. One Philadelphia father has figured out the best way to measure his child's growth. A cheesesteak. Jesse could probably like this.
WATTERS: Yes, Philly boy.
PERINO: So Brad Williams created a cheesesteak scale system to measure the progress of his infant son, Lucas, starting when he noticed the cheesesteak he ordered for dinner was very similar in size. And then he'd take a photo every month his first year. But apparently, they had to stop, because Lucas is not into the cheesesteaks any more.
Williams says babies are just like cheesesteaks: wrapped up, they are warm and cuddly, but once you unwrap them, expect a huge mess.
WATTERS: Cheese Whiz.
GUTFELD: And make sure you know which one you're eating.
WATTERS: OK. Geraldo.
RIVERA: I'm going to not do the "One More Thing" that I was going to do, because we have a FOX News alert. Seriously. There has been the first criminal referral -- I'm not joking -- first criminal referral from the Senate, from senators Grassley and Graham. And guess who has been referred to the Department of Justice by the Senate Judiciary Committee?
Christopher Steele, the author of the dossier, the infamous dossier, is the first criminal referral. They have reason to believe, says senators Grassley and Graham, that Christopher Steele lied to the feds. So this is a major, major development. So you know, here, how ironic with all of the Russia-gate. Who's the first criminal referral from the Senate to the Department of Justice?
WATTERS: Geraldo, I like your "One More Things." Good stuff.
All right. That's it for us today. Be sure to come back and see us on Monday. Have a great weekend. "Special Report" up next. Bret Baier, over to you.
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