This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 13, 2017. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: I'm Greg Gutfeld with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Marie Harf, Jesse Watters, and she cliff dives from a teacup, Dana Perino -- "The Five."
It's the news that shocked the political world: Omarosa is out. We now go to the White House staffers for a response.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Very emotional, apparently. So what exactly happened last night? Well, we have tape of how it might have unfolded:
(BEGIN 'APPRENTICE' VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP: Omarosa, you wait outside with Juan.
OMAROSA: Let me ask you a question if I may.
UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: Mr. Trump, I've worked for the last 2 weeks.
TRUMP: Omarosa, I didn't call for you yet.
OMAROSA: I've been running around for weeks.
TRUMP: We've all got problems. Life is full of problems.
Omarosa has to go. You're fired.
OMAROSA: Thanks for the opportunity to be here. Thank you all.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: No, thank you.
All right. On to the real news: Doug Jones wins. Roy Moore loses and Al Franken keeps his pajamas on. There are those on the right who are bummed because a Republicans loss makes it harder to fulfill Trump's agenda. To them, I say relax. The silver lining to this cloud is actually bigger than the damn cloud. First, this is no referendum on Trump. It's a referendum on a state election that made all of us squirm -- including you. You can tell by Trump's polite tweet after he was relieved not to have this albatross across his neck -- around his neck. Now the party must get to work and find a real candidate to unseat Jones.
But here's the real good news: The only reason we had this election was because Donald Trump won. It's true. Imagine it's October 2016 and a genie offers you this deal: You can win the White House, change the political landscape, dump the Clintons, but you'll lose a Senate seat in a year. Wouldn't you take that deal? Of course you would. Sure, the Republicans blew the primary which got us this mess, but it could be far worse. You could still have that seat, but under Hillary.
As for you, Doug Jones, stop grinning and open your mind. You're already a lame duck. A lefty in Alabama is like a popsicle in a sauna, which is why you nearly lost to the most flawed candidate ever -- your butt saved only by Republican write-ins. So grab lunch with the president. You already have something in common with him: Your opponent sucked.
All right. Let's get to the big news here, Omarosa. Dana, devastated?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I've only met her once.
PERINO: No, I don't really know her, but I really would like to know the story behind why she left.
GUTFELD: I don't know. I don't know. Jesse, what network is she coming to?
JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: Not this network, I don't think. Probably, MSNBC. We are hearing new that she was escorted out of the White House by armed security because she dis issue some vulgarities to General Kelly and claims credit for the Trump election. You can't fire me. I got Trump elected.
PERINO: It's beside. Don't you have that honor?
WATTERS: Yes. The Watters bump.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: The water swell. It's still going.
GUTFELD: I mean, there's always somebody nobody likes. I mean, nobody could get along with Omarosa because.
WATTERS: That was Dana in the Bush years.
GUTFELD: Because she came in and cradled with the previous relationship. She was like, I'm friends with Trump. I have a hall pass.
MARIE HARF, GUEST CO-HOST: Right. Well, and he sort of had a team of misfit toys with him during the campaign because a lot of people didn't think he would win. A lot of Republicans didn't want to be part of his campaign, and she was someone that would worked for him when almost no one else would. She got rewarded with a White House job which a lot of us are sort of concerned about.
GUTFELD: Oh, really?
PERINO: Yeah. Because remember she came from Chicago and she was really close. Remember when they got in fights which is usually having to do with something.
GUTFELD: Kimberly, would you like to talk about Omarosa or would you like to talk about the election?
GUILFOYLE: All of it.
GUTFELD: All right. I would like your thought on -- is this a blow to the Trump administration?
GUILFOYLE: No, believe me. This is like -- they're like, OK, T-minus, how many days for her to go? So, this is no surprise. The only shocking thing is that she lasted this long to be quite honest, because she was like a bone to pick with everybody and infighting and issues from the minute she was there.
PERINO: Didn't she have a big wedding party there?
HARF: There were stories about how she would leave pairs of shoes all over the west wing. She'd wear them to meetings and then change shoes and leave them there. Like, so bizarre.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah. I think they're very happy about this.
GUTFELD: All right. Obviously, the bigger story, Dana, there's a lot of finger-pointing, but shouldn't the Republicans be incredibly relieved?
PERINO: No, I think that like, wow. I was like, wow, you're like me, look on the bright side. Look on the sunny side of things.
GUTFELD: Always plugging your book.
PERINO: Sounds good. (INAUDIBLE) I take issue with a little something. I think the write-ins were kind of something, but I think you have to hand it to the Democrats on the grassroots in terms of their turnout.
GUTFELD: You're agreeing with Steve Bannon.
(LAUGHTER) PERINO: Does the Democrats had good turnout? That -- it's obvious that the Democrats had good turnout.
GUTFELD: Yeah, yeah.
PERINO: I mean, if Steve Bannon agrees with me on that, it's like agreeing that this spider is blue.
GUTFELD: Is that really blue? I don't know about that. Fake news. All right. Jesse, does this actually make it that much harder to implement Trump's agenda, you think?
WATTERS: No, because I think they still have the votes for tax cuts. Listen, Democrats did not win. Roy Moore lost. If I were a Democrat, I wouldn't be that excited about barely beating a candidate who was credibly accused of molesting little kids. I don't think that's something you want to hang your hat on. There's no big wave coming out of this. Jones had no mandate either. He's going to be a lame duck. In two years, he's going to be beaten by a normal Republican. So he might as well caucus with the majority.
WATTERS: Listen, this guy, no one even wanted him to win. I don't even think the Republicans cared about the seat. They didn't spend money there. They didn't campaign there. Everybody pulled their endorsement. So, this guy was a fringe candidate. He was a rural guy that was a bomb thrower, and the suburbs didn't turn out for him. And Roy Moore came strong, he came to play, he won black women strong, he won independence, and you've got to tip your hat for him. But I don't blame Mitch McConnell. Mitch McConnell picked the right horse, Luther Strange from the jump. And McConnell.
GUILFOYLE: So did the president.
WATTERS: So did Donald Trump. And McConnell has been warning about these bomb throwers in the senate races, like a Shannon Engel, the witch candidate from Delaware.
WATTERS: . from Missouri. So we can all see this coming and it finally happened. But I think in the long term it's good for the Republicans.
GUTFELD: So Kimberly, Trump picked the right horse, and Moore has to leave on a horse. Let's roll some tape of Donald Trump, and I would love to have you comment on this, would you?
GUILFOYLE: Of course.
GUTFELD: All right.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: I think it's very important for the country to get a vote next week, not because we lost a seat. A lot of Republicans feel differently. They're very happy with the way it turned out, but I would have, as a leader of the party, I would have liked to of had the seat. I will tell you that it's to me it's very, very, just very important to get this vote not because of that but because -- and I don't know what the vote will be. I don't know what exactly the final. We have a margin now of 2, plus our great vice president, so I think we're going to get the vote.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So Kimberly, I get from this that he -- you know, it's about seats and not about people.
GUTFELD: I can tell that he wasn't that broken up about it.
GUILFOYLE: Well, no, but he's a businessman. You've got to move forward. He's like, OK, this is a bad deal, didn't work out. But he's probably thinking I picked the right guy to begin with. We wouldn't be having this conversation if they have backed Luther Strange to begin with, but they -- you know, the fridge candidate push forward and was able to garner the votes. And then, unfortunately, wasn't able to get it over the finish line for those that supported him. It was pretty shocking, the fact that the race was as close as it was, given all the news and people who are calling for him to drop out. And he was down by how many percentage, you know, poll points, etcetera. So I think what the president is focusing on right now is a good messaging there, which is like, all right, let's unite the party. Obviously, it would have been great if we had it. A lot of Republicans feel differently. But I'm all focused about the American people and getting tax reform put through. So he's already -- he's done. That's in the rearview mirror.
GUTFELD: What do you think about Jones? Is he going to remain as liberal as he's perceived to be? Like I said, a popsicle in a sauna. He's not going to last long in Alabama. He's going to have to move, right?
HARF: I think he'll caucus with the Democrats. I think the Democratic Party feels very good after last night. My dad warns me not to gloat too much today. So I'm trying.
GUTFELD: We'll throw you out of here, Marie.
HARF: I know. No, but -- I think you're overlooking a real political reckoning that's happening in the Republican Party going into 2018. Midterms are historically bad for incumbents. And Donald Trump and the RNC went in behind this candidate.
HARF: And moderate Republicans crossed over in pretty big numbers. They didn't just write in Nick Saban. Some of them did. But some of them crossed over and voted for Democrats, white women, young voters. If the Republican Party doesn't take this result seriously going into 2018, I think they will have some problems.
GUTFELD: Is Marie basically saying don't listen to Bannon?
HARF: Yes, I am.
WATTERS: He doesn't even share all the blame because he got in only after Moore was up by double digits in the primary.
WATTERS: But he does share some blame. But, listen, this guy is national P.R. spokesman had a brain freeze on television yesterday for about 45 seconds. He said gays should be in jail. He said Muslims can't serve in the United States Congress. And he was drenched in scandal. This is not a normal Republican candidate.
WATTERS: The fact that he beat him by a hair, I don't think speaks well for the Democratic Party, actually.
HARF: But the RNC chose to back him after these allegations came out. They need to decide in 2018 if they're going to support candidates like Roy Moore or if they're going to support more establishment candidates that aren't.
WATTERS: I think it's pretty clear they're going to support non-Roy Moore candidates going forward.
PERINO: I also think that there's a phenomenon that's interesting that happened during the Obama years, too. When Obama was running for election, he won and he was fine, and he couldn't help bring people along. If he's not on the ballot, it's not so good for that party, for the Democrats. And now, I think this is happening with President Trump. So, he wins and he has some majority, but then if you look at the special elections that have happened since, if he's not at the top of the ticket, even if he's campaigning, even if he's supportive and tweeting about you, it's not working. And the generic ballot for the congressional races in the midterms are not good for Republicans right now. There's a 15-point gap in the poll today. So, you can make up a little bit of that with the tax reform bill if the economy continues to improve. But I think Marie is right that there is something different happening this time.
WATTERS: Some work to do.
GUTFELD: Some work to do, definitely. Should Moore pursue legally what happened to him, politically? If he believes he was innocent, should he try to go out and prove -- should he be like O.J.? Find the real killer?
GUILFOYLE: Interesting comparison.
GUTFELD: Yes. It was the only one who came to mind.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Obviously, if it's important to him he should try to clear his name. I don't know where he goes from here, to be quite honest. But, you know, again, I can't believe he did as well as he did in the polls and, obviously, the Democrats, we talked about yesterday on the show, is it going to be about turnout and getting out the vote, and the Democrats have always been quite skilled at doing that. You know, whether it's presidential elections or local congressional races.
GUTFELD: But he got so lucky with this candidate.
PERINO: They do.
GUTFELD: They really do.
PERINO: Like a five to one advantage in terms of registered Republicans over Democrats. So, I think that it is pretty remarkable that he won. And I think that the NAACP does deserve some credit there for their grassroots organization in Alabama was amazing.
GUTFELD: Well, on that note, two FBI officials on Mueller's Russian investigation exchange anti-Trump text. We now have those messages. Note, you haven't seen them. We have them. Exclusive, next.
PERINO: The man who appointed Robert Mueller as special counsel appeared on Capitol Hill today to address concerns from lawmakers about anti-Trump bias affecting the Russia probe. Congressman Trey Gowdy was fired up while questioning Rod Rosenstein earlier.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. TREY GOWDY: What in the hell is going on with the Department of Justice and the FBI? This agent in the middle of almost everything related to Secretary Clinton and President Trump sent pro-Clinton texts, anti-Trump text to his Paramore. Then he went off if that wasn't enough to belittle Trump supporters by saying he could smell them at a Walmart in Virginia. This is who we were told we needed to have an objective, impartial, fair, conflict of interest free investigation. What happens when people who are supposed to cure the conflict of interest have even greater conflicts of interest than those they replace?
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Robert Mueller and Rod Rosenstein and Chris Ray are accountable, and that we will ensure that no bias is reflected in any of the actions taken by the special counsel, or in any matter within the jurisdiction of the Department of Justice.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Rosenstein's testimony came hours after Fox News obtained text messages between two of Mueller's former investigators, messages disparaging the president. Chief intelligence correspondent, Catherine Herridge, has more as she has all day. Catherine, what do you have?
CATHERINE HERRIDGE, FOX NEWS: So the deputy attorney general was up here on Capitol Hill defending the special counsel, Robert Mueller, and the integrity of the Russia probe, but it was really a series of texts that garnered all the attention. Let's take a look at the first one. It's from August of 2016. This is a text message from FBI agent Peter Strzok to the FBI lawyer Lisa Page, and he writes to her, you laid out a path in Andy's office that he couldn't get elected. Now, Andy is importantly believed that's the deputy FBI director Andrew McCabe. Remember, he's at the center of the inspector general's investigation. His wife took over $700,000 in political donations from Democrats for a 2015 state senate race. And Agent Strzok continues, we can't take that risk. It's kind of like an insurance policy. What we understand here at Fox is that this particular text is the focus of congressional investigators and other governmental officials because it speaks to the possibility of a conspiratorial or some sort of level of coordination.
If you go to the next one which you mentioned leading in to me is also August of 2016. And you can see Agent Strzok talking about going down to this Walmart in Virginia, and he says in caps, I could smell the Trump supporters, so he is really diminishing these people. And then the FBI lawyer responds that she's having lunch with a friend and we hate everyone. We hate everything, she writes. So this is at a peak period of the campaign. It's also shortly after the Clinton email investigation was closed for the first time by the FBI, and they have just opened the FBI's Russia counterintelligence investigation. But even if you go back a few months, we'll take a look at this final text. This is from the spring. You can see there does seem to be this real anti-Trump sentiment that is expressed by the FBI agent, calling him an idiot and then using the F-bomb to talk about candidate Trump.
The final point if I could, this agent, Peter Strzok, is one of the most senior counterintelligence agents at the FBI. His job is tracking spies and blocking espionage directed at the United States. And one of my contacts said to me today, it was really in some ways unbelievable that he would have such bad tradecraft and he will be so sloppy to send these types of sentiments on thousands of text messages to someone that he worked with. This was alone surprising in itself, Dana.
PERINO: All right. Catherine, thank you so much for all your help today. And we'll check with you tomorrow. OK. So, one of the things Congressman Nadler said today at the hearing, Kimberly, he's a Democrat, he said this is no big deal because they were just expressing what a majority of Americans were thinking at the time. So it's not a big deal. But, OK, this is on government issued technology. So its government issued phones. So that's how we know about these things. And they're also involved in these investigations, so inappropriate.
GUILFOYLE: So, Catherine made the point, he was senior at the FBI, and in terms of counterintelligence, it's really quite shocking and surprising that he would be so sloppy and conduct these kind of conversations and show such blatant bias against the president when he's supposed to be involved in investigation. I think it goes to the core of the credibility, you know, the integrity of the investigation that this is someone that you had who was just blatantly just basically bleeding out vitriol about the president, and about people involved with him, and how is it in any way proper for him to be involved in an investigation like that?
PERINO: So then -- when Mueller -- eventually, Mueller comes on, he finds out about this through the inspector general and he fires the guy. But Greg, you have a theory, I'm dying to hear it.
GUTFELD: Well, number one, these are fun to read. They really are. But we have to admit that so are our texts about our coworkers and people that -- I mean, like, is this the next thing? Granted, I don't work for the government, but it does feel -- I always feel creepy because when you're talking to somebody like this, you can swear and you can talk bad about whoever you want because you have to have that ability, but I do believe the bad tradecraft comes from having an affair. That always amps up the intensity of the bravado of the language, you know, I'm the only one who can stop Trump. I'll do it. Oh, please. Like, he was the hero. It's part of that initial foolish euphoria of an affair. But still, it does taint the objectivity because it was so intense. But having said that, we all kind of do this stuff when we're texting. I will say this, Trey Gowdy, that's his best look yet. He's like half vampire, half he Huey Lewis. And he's got the glasses and the loose tie. I just think he looks fantastic.
PERINO: And he use the word paramour.
GUTFELD: I think he's a star.
GUILFOYLE: You're fired up about it.
(CROSSTALK) PERINO: I mean, isn't one of the reasons that when you're getting a clearance, a security clearance, I think the first, second, fourth, eighth question is all about infidelity.
HARF: Well, it's all about whether you can be blackmailed, right? If you have outstanding debt, if you have a lot of foreign contacts that you're not admitting to.
PERINO: And if you're having an affair.
HARF: Right. So this was clearly stupid. It was stupid. I think we can all agree on that. But I don't like the insinuation that some of the Republicans brought up today in that hearing that everyone who works on this investigation is somehow biased. That, you know, Rod Rosenstein made clear his agents can have personal political opinions. The I.G. is looking into whether that impacted their work, but there's no evidence that it impacted their work yet. So let's let the I.G. dig into that. Let's get the rest of these patriotic FBI agents who do their jobs, the Republicans and Democrats, the respect of doing their job.
GUILFOYLE: That's a fair statement. We've talked about that on the show. There're so many incredible men and women that are very dedicated agents that do their job, take it very seriously, and haven't engaged in any kind of impropriety like this. But that's why you've got to root out the bad ones. By the way, Dana, Martha MacCallum is going to have Trey Gowdy on tonight.
PERINO: All right. We have to give Jesse the last word.
WATTERS: Surprisingly, I think it's a little more damning than you.
WATTERS: Smoking gun evidence that both investigations into Trump and Hillary were corrupted. If you have the lead FBI investigator saying Hillary is great and praising her and I can't wait until she wins, while investigating Hillary, that's not good. And so, they close the book on that deal after exonerating her and giving her a softball interview. Open up an investigation into Trump, and then what do they say about Trump? He's an idiot. F, Trump. Come on, it's just like Joy Behar is leading the investigation into Donald Trump. So the worst part, and I don't know if we got to this, this guy is saying it's his job to protect the country from that menace.
GUTFELD: Most important thing.
WATTERS: Yes. We can't take the risk if Trump wins? We have to have an insurance policy? And this is the guy -- he's the lead contact for the fake dossier? Wait a second. To me it sounds like this guy believes he, as a counterespionage official, feels like it's his duty to derail a duly elected president of the United States for partisan political purposes. That is a massive scandal. And then, Mueller showed poor judgment of picking him for the team and then stacked the rest of the team with Clinton donors and other Trump haters. So I think the entire investigation is tainted. And now we know that there's bias and we know there's motive.
GUTFELD: That one point is like the most important point.
GUTFELD: No. He's suggesting that he would be doing something.
WATTERS: We don't know that.
HARF: There is no evidence of that.
WATTERS: No, the I.G. is going to look at it.
HARF: I just thought -- you said, we know.
WATTERS: It says he's preparing to do something to save the country from Trump. And he has an insurance policy. The conspiracy theory is written by your guy.
PERINO: All right. We're going to move on. President Trump always says the media is grossly biased against him. Is he right? You're going to see, next.
GUILFOYLE: It's no news flash that the media has it out for President Trump. There are some new eye-opening statistics to support that. The Media Research Center has been closely monitoring coverage on the evening newscasts on ABC, CBS and NBC. The reporting on the president has been 91 percent negative over the past three months.
Here's Mr. Trump's response to that: "Wow. More than 90 percent of fake news media coverage of me is negative. With numerous forced retractions of untrue stories, hence my use of social media, the only way to get the truth out. Much of mainstream media has become a joke!"
WATTERS: The joke's on them.
GUTFELD: Wait, you missed "FOX and Friends"! You didn't plug the show.
WATTERS: Doesn't he do that for every tweet?
PERINO: It's automatic.
WATTERS: It's automatic.
The media has been very consistent covering the president, consistently biased. The first 100 days, 90 percent negative. The summer, same study, 90 percent negative. And now the last three months, 90 percent negative.
Now, Juan always says we do this segment every three months. Well, the president's job performance has been rough. You know, we had the travel ban rejected, couldn't repeal Obamacare. We had Charlottesville, all that mess, special counsel.
But I think every fair-minded person can agree within the last three months, the president has performed much better. Kelly has straightened out the White House personnel. Great recovery efforts with the hurricane. The Asia swing was a very good success. And the stock market and the GDP have been astonishing. And no collusion proven, yet anyway.
So why is it still 90 percent negative? I think it's pretty obvious. They hate him.
GUILFOYLE: OK. So Marie, what do we say? Can you defend the mainstream media?
HARF: Well, I think that the media has done some things wrong in the last year, and they've also done some things right. They've broken big stories. They've provided information to the American public. This just focused on the evening newscast, on those three networks. So it didn't look at everything; didn't look at newspapers, I don't think.
WATTERS: That would make it 95 percent.
HARF: And I also say it's sort of like the chicken and the egg. You know, President Trump has called the media the enemy of the American people. On the campaign trail, he routinely went after reporters when they ran stories he didn't like. So he has not ever, you know, expressed anything but disdain for them. And so it's not surprising that some of this would end up being negative.
I've also said they need to do even better because of that. They're under such scrutiny, these corrections, these wrong stories, they hurt all journalists, and I think that's a problem.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Dana, so these numbers, I guess, pretty much they're consistent with what we've seen in the past.
PERINO: I don't expect -- I don't expect it's going to change necessarily. Because I think it's working for those networks. Right? And everybody in media, everyone is seeing subscriptions are up, ratings are up. People are engaged; people are watching. Social media engagement is up. And that's true for the networks.
And also, I think this type of thing works in the president's favor. He has a rock-solid base of support. They love to hear about this. They all believe it. They think that the media is terrible. And so he repeats it, in a way, to actually bolster his base.
GUILFOYLE: All right. So Greg, what can he do to fix all of this?
GUTFELD: What's the narrative we keep hearing? Journalism and media is under threat. Even President Obama compared the Trump administration to Hitler, because you know, nobody was standing up.
The media has never been more invigorated under Donald Trump. He has made media great again, because he's woken them up from their Obama coma, from eight years where they did nothing. They couldn't do anything. They weren't doing investigative journalism because they didn't want to hurt their leader.
But now what's happening is Trump has made the media better. I said as a couple days ago, because every mistake they make validates his opinion that it is fake news. So they have an extra incentive not to screw up, because if they screw up, Trump looks better. So they actually are becoming really, really good at their job after basically, you know, hibernating for eight years.
PERINO: He also...
GUTFELD: Thanks, Trump.
PERINO: He's also out all the time. Like every day. He is driving the news from early in the morning until late at night. There is more news to cover. That might actually be fitting into these numbers.
GUILFOYLE: Well, he also says that he has no choice. That he has to take social media himself to be able to get the messaging and the truth out. So this study actually supports the idea that he's doing that to try to get his version, I guess, what is transpiring.
OK. The popular show "Homeland" is coming back for season seven with a focus on stopping the president. Is fiction once again trying to mirror reality? Next.
HARF: Showtime's hit show "Homeland" has been known to craft story lines that mirror some real-life headlines, and it appears that the producers may have taken the same approach for season seven. Here's the new trailer. What do you think?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: More than 200 individuals are detained in the investigation surrounding the attack on President Kean nine days before her inauguration.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nobody grows up dreaming of taking down criminals inside their own government.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're going to have to put this behind you, Elizabeth.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: "Madam President."
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Excuse me?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: In this room, it's "Madam president."
How is it they tried to assassinate me, and I am the one under investigation?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The country is in free fall, tearing itself apart. And you're acting like it's me off my meds.
I will hunt you down. I will kill you.
HARF: Wow, that was a lot. The focus this season: people in the intelligence community trying to stop a tyrannical president.
PERINO: Ripped from the headlines.
HARF: OK. Dana, I'm coming to you. We were talking earlier. You and I both used to watch this show and then stopped. I stopped because I think it got very dark and weird. But...
PERINO: I stopped because when they started being sympathetic to terrorists, that was enough for me.
HARF: A bridge too far?
PERINO: Too much. But initially, I really did like the show.
HARF: It was good. But this new trailer, I don't know. Greg, what do you think?
GUTFELD: My favorite TV show right now is Trump TV.
I haven't watched "Homeland" into years, because I don't need the hyper fake reality. I already have it. I mean, the Trump -- the Trump White House is a combination of "Homeland," "24," and "The Apprentice." Fiction is no match for what's going on in real life. We know that every time we wake up.
By the way, to your point, this is the same show that couldn't do ISIS, because they felt that evil -- the evil wasn't sophisticated enough. It was just too evil, and they needed a gray area. But for them, a proxy for Trump is easier to do than a proxy for ISIS, because they don't get yelled at by their friends in Hollywood.
GUILFOYLE: So true.
HARF: Well, I think they had planned on Hillary Clinton winning. They made this female character president.
PERINO: And then they had to turn her into a tyrant.
HARF: And they had to turn her into a tyrant.
WATTERS: Turn her into one?
HARF: Who -- who -- always got to bring it back to Hillary Clinton.
GUILFOYLE: Look how happy he is.
HARF: They had to change the season up, I think, at the last minute. Are you going to weigh in?
GUILFOYLE: They don't see gender, do they? They just see Trump. It just doesn't matter. You know, so this is -- look, maybe I would watch just to see, although like Greg says, we already see this playing out every single day. And you just have to look at what's going on right now with these investigations.
And the text messages and the inherent bias in the corruption, lack of integrity for the investigation. And people had a specific mission, like moving on target to take down what they perceived to be a tyrannical president.
HARF: I watch TV to escape from the crazy things happening in the country. If you wrote a script about 2017 before it happened, none of us would believe it I don't think. So I watch TV, like, for happier shows.
WATTERS: Like "The Bachelor" or something. Yes, that's my favorite. I can't afford -- I can only afford basic cable, so I don't get all the premium channels. I am hearing that Peter Strzok is going to make a guest appearance on one of these rogue CIA agents taking on the president.
It's wishful thinking from Hollywood. They want this stuff to happen, so they're trying to write it. And who knows? You know, anything could happen.
HARF: We were also talking. We remember Claire Danes from "My So-Called Life."
WATTERS: Why did you out me? I told you that in confidence.
HARF: That's our generation.
GUTFELD: Who was her boyfriend? Jared Leto?
HARF: Jared Leto.
GUTFELD: Jared Leto.
HARF: She was like the, you know, girl in high school, and now she's...
HARF: ... trying to kill the president. Crazy.
GUTFELD: She should -- she should play the character from "My So-Called Life" as a cameo in "Homeland."
HARF: And Jared Leto should.
GUTFELD: Jared Leto should show up and...
GUILFOYLE: He's moved onto some other things.
GUTFELD: He's got the glassy-eyed "I'm a prophet" look, which is nauseating in itself. Enough about Jared Leto.
GUILFOYLE: Self-proclaimed musician.
HARF: Exactly. Well, stay tuned. Jesse has some new texts from his mom to share with us, and a special guest is in studio.
WATTERS: Who could it be?
HARF: You don't want to go away. Stay tuned.
WATTERS: It's time now for a very special edition of "Mom Texts." And we have a special visitor in studio today for this installment, my mom.
HARF: Hi, Mom.
WATTERS: Ann Watters. Dr. Watters, excuse me. So let's get started.
As many of you know, my mom is a liberal Democrat and sends me texts during the show critiquing my performance.
WATTERS: Text one: "When you are good, you are so very, very good, and when there is a performance like last night's, I become so distraught that you have moved ever closer to that imaginary line that cannot be crossed."
Next one. "I have delighted in your more measured and thoughtful language and approach to issues these last months, and I've said that to you. So then I began to wonder, is this Mean Mondays? Because this only happens on Mondays."
GUILFOYLE: So true.
PERINO: Is she right?
"I am tired of the 'FOX and Friends' fellow."
GUILFOYLE: Oh, God.
WATTERS: No. 4: "Enough. Think about how to make the world a better place."
And lastly "All I can say is thank God for Juan Williams. Really, Jesse?"
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my goodness.
WATTERS: So my mom is a celebrity now. She gets into the green room, and everyone is like "I heard she's in the green room. Can I go meet her?"
PERINO: Yes. She's pretty great.
WATTERS: And most of them are very complimentary of you, Dana. And Gutfeld, when she says your name correctly...
WATTERS: ... she does think you're interesting.
PERINO: That's funny.
GUTFELD: What this does is people are surprised that you were actually born. You came from human beings.
WATTERS: Does this humanize me, Gutfeld?
GUILFOYLE: My goodness gracious.
WATTERS: All right. Here's a special one. I think someone is going to like this one. No. 3: "As usual, Dana provided wisdom and big think."
My mom is your biggest fan.
PERINO: All right. Thank you, Ann.
GUTFELD: Do know what that says about you, Dana?
WATTERS: Yes, I know. An endorsement from my mom might not go over too well with our audience.
How about this one? You might remember this from two weeks ago. No. 1, "Please apologize to your colleagues, and I mean with genuine remorse, for the horrific judgment you showed in airing your Santa video. Be a great deal more careful, Jesse. Everyone is replaceable except Santa."
That's when I showed Santa skydiving.
GUILFOYLE: That was really...
PERINO: Oh, yes.
GUTFELD: That was great.
PERINO: That was so upsetting.
GUILFOYLE: Now he's showing it again.
WATTERS: So very sorry. And I think Kimberly will like this one.
WATTERS: "Please don't become a talking head that is predictable and thin. Your colleagues roll their eyes and groan aloud with their pre-game knowledge of what your position and point is going to be."
Do you really guys do that?
GUILFOYLE: There are some faces.
WATTERS: I picked up on a few things.
WATTERS: That's what that is?
GUILFOYLE: There are faces, yes, being made.
WATTERS: All right. You know what?
GUTFELD: Our eyes roll with love.
WATTERS: That's what my mom says. All right. I don't even want to read the last one.
PERINO: Come on!
WATTERS: "One More Thing" is up next.
GUTFELD: Time for "One More Thing" -- Jesse.
WATTERS: So there was a really beautiful and touching moment last night at the Sacramento Kings basketball game. So two young kids, Kings fans, Austin and Brooke Sullivan, were led out into the middle of the court, blindfolded, thinking it's some kind of promotion. It turns out their father was returning from Afghanistan. And they were surprised.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're going in the right direction! You're almost there!
(MUSIC: "I'm coming home, I'm coming home. Tell the world I'm coming home.")
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Aw, so there you go. That was U.S. Army Sergeant First Class Shawn Sullivan reuniting with his children. Very, very nice.
PERINO: Welcome home.
WATTERS: Kings game.
PERINO: That will be a great Christmas.
GUTFELD: All right, Dana, speaking of great Christmases, don't screw this up.
PERINO: OK. So if you were on the Twitter, you've probably heard of this guy. Texas Supreme Court Justice Don Willett was just confirmed by the Senate to become a United States court of appeals judge for the Fifth Circuit. The vote was 50-47. Willett was the 11th federal appeals court nominee to be confirmed by the Senate this year. They're also going to vote on a couple of others this week. I think Judge James Ho is going to be up. And if that happens, President Trump will have made a record, hit a record of how many circuit court judges were announced.
GUTFELD: Justice Ho?
PERINO: Yes, his name is Judge Ho.
GUTFELD: Judge Ho?
GUTFELD: He could have a TV show, "Yo, Justice Ho."
GUILFOYLE: Oh, man.
PERINO: Yes, that's a great idea. But anyway, congratulations to Don Willett. He was a great feature on Twitter for a long time, and he will be missed on Twitter. But a great judge.
GUTFELD: He could be Santa, and he'll be Judge Ho Ho Ho.
Anyway. I'll stop with the Ho. K.G.
GUILFOYLE: All right, thank you so much.
GUILFOYLE: Time for "Kimberly's Royal News." Yes, indeed. Back by extreme popular demand.
GUTFELD: No one is demanding it.
GUILFOYLE: I am every day. So this is fantastic. So Prince William, Harry attended "The Last Jedi" premiere. So this is combining royal news with "Star Wars" news. And apparently, they are big fans, and you can see the little pictures. Look at how cute they are on the red carpet. Neither his wife or the fiancee were there. I don't know why, because it looked like a lot of fun. And it was a black-tie gala benefiting the Royal Foundation charity.
And apparently, there's a rumor that they recorded a scene playing stormtroopers in the SciFi saga when they visited the set in April 2016. But royal officials are mum on the comments -- refusing to comment.
PERINO: Kimberly, do you watch "The Crown?"
GUILFOYLE: I've watched it a couple times.
PERINO: It's good.
GUILFOYLE: I need to be a little more dedicated to it. I think it's because I'm so busy producing this segment.
PERINO: Well, when you have time, I think you'll quite enjoy it.
GUTFELD: Why watch it?
GUTFELD: We beat these people.
GUILFOYLE: The crown looks particularly shiny today.
GUTFELD: We beat these people so we don't have to talk about royalty anymore.
GUILFOYLE: You're always trying to ruining my royal segments.
GUTFELD: I'm trying to ruin your segments.
GUILFOYLE: Why do you do that? Well, I think you're jealous.
GUTFELD: Maybe I am jealous. I don't have a crown.
GUILFOYLE: "Greg's Robot News."
GUTFELD: I had a crown once.
GUILFOYLE: Boo, boo. Or "I hate these people." Boo.
GUTFELD: That was very bad.
GUILFOYLE: "Fashion News." Boo.
GUTFELD: You know, now it's my turn, and I'm -- I've got two. Today, my podcast just went up. If you go to FOXNews.com/podcasts, I've got a fantastic interview with the great Walter Kern, one of the best writers in America. We talk about Trump's effect on the media. We talk about the election from last night. We talk about so many different things. He's really a fantastic writer. He wrote the book "Up in the Air," which was made into the movie with George Clooney, an old friend of mine. George and I go way back.
GUILFOYLE: Fake news.
GUTFELD: And also, he wrote a movie called "Thumb Sucker." Or a book called "Thumb Sucker" that became a movie. And he's got a lot of great books. Good guy.
I'm going to ban a phrase today. I'm tired of this phrase: "Problematic."
WATTERS: Where's Richard Fowler?
GUTFELD: Oh, my God. You know, I hate this word. You know what this word is?
WATTERS: Uses it all the time.
GUTFELD: It's because somebody who doesn't have an actual judgment on whether something is right or wrong will say "problematic." So you will see a student go up before, like, some school administrator for doing something that they don't like but it's not wrong. So they'll just say about your actions, "Well, we find your actions very problematic."
And you're supposed to say, "What is that? Is it wrong?"
"No, it's just problematic."
But if anybody tells you that something you did is problematic, tell them to shut the hell up. And then you could punch them, but I would be against punching.
PERINO: Because that would be problematic.
GUTFELD: That would be problematic. That would definitely be problematic.
All right, Marie, you've got a lot of time, so stretch it. What are you doing?
HARF: So my home state Cleveland Browns are 0-13 this season.
GUTFELD: Terrible team.
HARF: Last season they were 1-15. And a die-hard Browns fan who is a Ohio sports personality and is also a friend of mine from high school has organized a parade if they go 0-16.
GUTFELD: That's great.
HARF: He is getting all this national media attention. He has a GoFundMe page where he's raised over $10,000 to pay for the parade.
HARF: But if they win a game, that money will all go to the Cleveland Food Bank.
GUTFELD: Oh, then they should try to win.
HARF: It's a win-win.
PERINO: That's a great idea.
WATTERS: And they'll catch a No. 1 draft pick.
HARF: The Browns, their last home game is this weekend against Baltimore. And their offensive lineman is keeping the faith. He said, "It's our last home game of the season in front of the home crowd. They've supported us the last couple of years, even though we haven't been great." Which is, like, the understatement.
GUILFOYLE: They haven't been great for a long time.
GUTFELD: They should spend less time kneeling and more time practicing.
GUILFOYLE: They were from the...
GUTFELD: Am I right, America? That was my FOX News take. You know, "If they stopped kneeling and started actually practicing."
WATTERS: Very problematic.
GUILFOYLE: ... you think the Eagles are going to go to the Super Bowl.
WATTERS: I think the Eagles have got this, even though we're going with a backup quarterback. I still have faith.
GUILFOYLE: All right. I love that.
HARF: So either way, Cleveland Browns. If they lose, we get a parade. If they win, the food bank gets the money.
PERINO: OK, that's good. I like that.
GUTFELD: I like that, too. I think we're about done.
GUILFOYLE: Give Bret the extra time. He'll do something meaningful with it.
GUTFELD: Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of "The Five." "Special Report," my favorite bear, Bret Baier.
BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: Thanks, Greg. I missed you guys.
GUTFELD: I missed you, too.
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