Common Sense

Cavuto: I'm not Beyonce

I guess when I saw Beyonce wearing one, that was the last straw.

The latest star to have early dibbs on what I did not, and could not.

An Apple watch.

Tomorrow is officially the first day average folks will be able to get their hands I mean wrists on one.

But for a select few, been there, done that way ahead of that.

Who needs to wait when you're too cool for words?

Beyonce's been spotted wearing one of those ultra-luxury gold-band Apple watches. Good luck getting that one early you can't even order it on Apple's site now, only a select few, which was Apple's way of saying ‘not you, Neil.'

I guess because I'm not Beyonce.

Or Pharrell Williams.

Or Katy Perry.

Or Drake.

No, hot musicians might qualify for rush Apple watch orders if they even pay for 'em.

Hot financial anchors, even incredibly hot financial anchors do not even when they do pay for 'em.

Because being a super celebrity counts

Being an everyday financial super hero does not.

Which could explain why fashion designers Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld have been eye-ed on runways with those $10,000+ watch editions on their wrists as the rest of us wait and wait.

Apple probably thinks it's good marketing, a tease, if you will.

Hey, Apple here's what I think it is.

Trashingly insulting, if you will.

Look, full disclosure, I love Apple. I'm even an Apple shareholder. Have been for years.

So, allow me, Apple, to share this now:

You're getting a bit too cool for school.

Which is an apt expression, considering you're clearly much more interested in being with the cool kids than the rest of us kids.

As if I didn't have that shoved enough in my face when I was in high school!

Because it's one thing to suck up to celebrities it's quite another to practically scream, the hell with the rest of the hoi polloi.

It's just weird that a company known for making things that are so simple and elegant could be so what's the term?

Dismissively, deridingly, condescendingly, snobbily, look-down-your-nosery, over-the-top-arrogantly inelegant.

But I'm sure I'll get over it, Apple.

It's just gonna take some time.

Fortunately I'll have your watch. albeit a little late to keep track how long it takes.