Updated

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," April 23, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Eric Bolling, along with Andrea Tantaros, Bob Beckel, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."

(MUSIC)

BOLLING: Are you ready for your blood to boil? Your head is going to explore, when you hear what the IRS is up to now. We the taxpayer handed
$178 million in bonuses to these thugs last year. That's outrageous enough.

Couldn't get any worse, right? Wrong. A whopping $2.8 million of those dollars were handed over to IRS employees cited for offenses like drug use, making violent threats, fraudulent unemployment benefits claims and misusing government credit cards and, oh, this one, don't forget, failing to pay their own taxes.

And it's not just a few bad apples. There are 2,800 employees who were disciplined in the very same year they received, quote, "performance bonuses."

Dana, you thought -- you sent this around, didn't you?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Well, of course, because, you know, my great evening plans are -- I send everybody emails. That's what I would like to do.

One of things I love about this is the idea remember that book everything I needed to know I learned in kindergarten. So, back in school, if somebody throw a spit ball, the teacher said nobody is getting up for recess until the spitball thrower raises their hand and you had to sit there and wait.

I actually think that that should be true for government employees and their bonuses. I can understand a bonus structure but when they owe the federal government money and there have been these allegations, that they either need to fess up to him or make them right before they get bonuses, that other citizens that work in the private sector don't get.

BOLLING: Twenty-eight hundred of them, we're not talking one or two, 2,800. And they got paid out the same year they were cited.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Eric, you get off their backs! They have had a rough year. So many hearings which cut into their conferences.

But it goes back to the question, who audits the auditor? Who audits the IRS? It's not the White House? It's like asking Lindsey Lohan to audit her drug dealer?

There's no desire also in the media, obviously, to expose this corruption because it's under their guy. So, you can get away with anyone because the media is his concubine. The media is Obama's harem, the IRS is the pit bull. You know, change in the front yard. He's there to do their bidding.

He's not -- they're not there to go after him. So, they are safe. We will talk about this for a day and something else will come up that the IRS does and we'll forget.

BOLLING: Ands, is it a culture of just looking the other way when bad stuff is going on, especially at the IRS?

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: You have two America's. The ones that are connected, that are above the law, that don't have to abide by the same rules, the ones that are collecting the taxes from everyone else but are not paying it themselves.

You know, they -- I would assume most of these employees file very simple W4s. How are you getting yourself in tax trouble with very simple W4s, when you work at the IRS? I forgot about the conferences that you broke up, the "Star Trek" and the line dancing and all that stuff.

PERINO: Hot tub.

TANTAROS: But there was a story that I saw that asked whether or not they were getting these bonuses to pay their back taxes, which would be even more appalling, that they are coming to the rescue of people who knowingly did wrongdoing with our money so that they can make good on taxes that a lot of us can barely pay.

BOLLING: Bobby, $178 million, 96,000 employees. It seems excessive to me.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Well, first, 96,000 employees and 2,800 of them have some problems. My guess it's probably not a big percentage difference of other departments or agencies or businesses. But, look, the IRS, it's a bad year for the IRS to be getting this story. I mean, this is exactly the wrong kind of story to have because of all the problems they have had.

But let's keep this in mind. There are a lot of professionals who work in the federal government who are very, very good who can make a lot more money working in the private sector. So, it's easier to beat up on them.

PERINO: I actually don't think that's true anymore. If you look at the numbers, there are some at the very, very highest levels.

BECKEL: Yes.

PERINO: But that's not true when you look at all the benefits that they get and the retirement compared to what most Americans are seeing, which is one of reasons that people were so outraged when Scott Walker had that fight with the unions up in Wisconsin and people start realizing, wait, they get all of that, all of those benefits, all those guarantees, and they don't -- I don't think that that is true anymore. I think --

BECKEL: If you think lawyers, high priced lawyers, say the upper level lawyers at the IRS, tax lawyers make a lot of money out in private practice, right?

BOLLING: Bob, for an IRS agent to not pay his taxes or underreport and some of the other, isn't that like a bad cop, like a dirty cop?

BECKEL: It's like stupid is what it is.

GUTFELD: I think the IRS should stand for "I'm really sorry."

You know what they did to me? I paid a buttload of taxes this year.
My checks were returned with insufficient postage. It was like they kick in the face for fun. I almost respected that.

TANTAROS: And then they charged you interest?

GUTFELD: No, it arrived April 15th and it said insufficient postage.

PERINO: Do you use the stamps that you put on the original or that they marked it up so that --

GUTFELD: They marked it up so I couldn't use it.

PERINO: You got fined.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOLLING: I think it's post marked April 15th. I think you're good.
We'll find out. We'll talk to a lawyer.

Speaking of D.C. shenanigans, Harry Reid has been making a fool of himself on and off the Senate floor. Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. HARRY REID (D), NEVADA: The Koch brothers seem to believe in an America where the system is rigged to benefit the very wealthy. Terrible dishonesty of these two brothers who are about as un-American as anyone that I can imagine.

These people who hold themselves out to be patriots are not. They are nothing more than domestic terrorists.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Now, the GOP is fighting. Listen to RNC chairman Reince Priebus getting fed up with old Harry this morning. Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REINCE PRIEBUS, RNC CHAIRMAN: Harry Reid is so dirty and so unethical that some of these things have to happen.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: And the RNC, in a memo to members today, writes, quote, "He was caught funneling campaign money to his relatives, his Senate majority PAC was caught lying to voters and he was caught hypocritically accepting money tied to the people he calls un-American as he desperately clings to power. Is there anything Harry Reid won't do to promote his own self interests?"

Ands, let me start with you. GOP fighting back.

TANTAROS: Good. They should take whacks at him, and I think they're raising a lot of money doing it. If you take the look at the latest Rasmussen Poll of members of Congress, Harry Reid is below Nancy Pelosi.
He's the lowest one at 26 percent approval rating. So, they are raising a lot of money likely on going after Harry Reid.

Is he corrupt? Yes. Is he a liar? Yes.

The dangerous danger of this though is Harry Reid doesn't really nationalize the election. If this becomes the Koch brothers, which has been the argument on the left, which makes liberals heads blow up when you say their name, just look at Bob when we say the Koch brothers, if it becomes the Koch brothers versus Harry Reid, I think that's a problem.

And I think if Republicans only focus on Harry Reid, then they miss the opportunity to go after bigger things and reach higher like the unpopularity of ObamaCare.

BOLLING: What do you think of the GOP fighting back?

BECKEL: Well, first of all -- I mean, look, Harry Reid has got an ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but I agree with everything he said about the Koch brothers, I agree plus 10, times 10. He was exactly right about that.

The thing about domestic terrorism, was just a horrible use of words.
But I don't know what the Republicans think they are doing. They are attacking him for a higher -- you know, I don't know of a campaign, honestly, that I have worked on that somebody in the family didn't get a job on. I'll bet you if I went through the Republican filings, I bet you I can find endless numbers of them.

TANTAROS: It's a little more seedy than that. I mean, he was funneling thousands of dollars through this campaign to his family members.
And if a Republican would do it, you wouldn't stop talking --

BECKEL: I bet you, I can find a Republican --

PERINO: And they weren't doing work on the campaign.

BOLLING: Can I also emphasize this? He's the Senate majority leader.
Doesn't that position come with a little bit extra scrutiny? A little bit extra -- I don't know, we should hold him I higher regard for that, right?

PERINO: I would think so. Yes, absolutely.

So, either Harry Reid is deliberately making these kind of comments because it's helping him either his own personal brand or he is making money off of it through political things because they do -- you know, the worse -- he doesn't want to have egg on his face in November if the Senate were to flip to Republicans.

The other thing is, it could be that he just has extremely bad judgment -- in which case, his staff needs to control it better. But on the RNC side, what the Republicans are doing today it wasn't necessarily for just attacking Harry Reid, this was a signal to donors to the Republicans that, yes, we have fight, we have fire in the belly and we will stand up, and we're going to punch back and the donors like to see that.

So, there is a political strategy from their perspective too and probably a good one.

BOLLING: Good timing?

GUTFELD: I don't know. This -- I -- this whole "GOP is fighting"
thing by raising money against someone you should have beaten a couple of years ago, that's the sad point is that you let these jerks win so you got to raise money against them.

Why don't you beat them in an election so you don't have this problem?
So, there are no Harry Reids? Find a candidate that can beat Harry Reid.

Harry Reid is the symbol of the worst kind of politician, that he's brazen in his cronyism. He's thirst for power, he does not hide. That's why it bothers him. He's like created in a lab. He's equal parts evil, and evil, and he's got a voice like you are bathing in spoiled milk.

BECKEL: You know something? I could have taken you out there and beaten him last time around.

GUTFELD: That's my point.

BECKEL: The Republicans have this incredible ability to come up with the biggest jerks with the worst backgrounds. And they do it year in and year out --

PERINO: OK. She wasn't a jerk.

TANTAROS: But some of the things going for the GOP are people like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid because they -- in midterms, they do give us ways to raise money. Harry Reid, he is Joe Biden, but much less fun. He has a history of making really off the wall comments, like he said that if a jobs bill didn't go through, that men would be home, they wouldn't be working and they would beat their wives. Really, he's a little wack.

BECKEL: He said things like that, he should be beatable. But you put this crazy woman against him.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Let's take it one step further. The Democrats made him Senate majority leader. What does that say about the other Democrats in the Senate?

PERINO: That he's really powerful and smart.

BECKEL: It's a lot more complicated than that, Eric, believe me.

BOLLING: OK, Bob, but --

BECKEL: Mixing oil and gas. I mean --

BOLLING: Really?

BECKEL: It takes a while to work something up to the leadership, yes.

BOLLING: Isn't it a reflection on you, who you bring up and make your leader, who you vote for, you put them forward?

BECKEL: Harry Reid got on the track years ago. It's very tough to beat a leader when they get up --

BOLLING: Well, listen, there are leaders who've been removed as leaders as well.

BECKEL: I'm trying to think of one.

BOLLING: All right. Late night, stepped up the political -- I'm talking about House and Senate.

BECKEL: Oh, I'm sorry.

BOLLING: Stepped up the political jokes. Take a listen to Jimmy Fallon having some fun at Hillary Clinton's expense. By the way, Fallon got booed and paying (ph) to this joke.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JIMMY FALLON, COMEDIAN: I want to say congrats to Chelsea Clinton last week. She announced that she is expecting her first child. That's great.

Yes, if it's a girl, it will get some Chelsea's old hand-me downs.
And if it's a boy, it will get some of Hillary's. It's very -- little pantsuits, little pantsuits, little cream pantsuits. It wasn't that hard of a joke. What's a big deal?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Greg, what do you think?

GUTFELD: I talked about this before. There's a sexist element to comedy where it is OK to rip open a male's appearance. You can talk about Christie's eight or whatever. But if you go after a female, I don't think that was a political response to it.

It was a response -- it's a protective bubble of being a female that people go, oh, I can't believe you said that. You made fun of how she looked. But are we over this at this point? Isn't everybody open game?

BOLLING: Isn't it funnier, though, when you --

GUTFELD: That was a good joke, by the way.

BOLLNG: -- when you breach that protective bubble?

GUTFELD: Yes, that's the problem, is that she has a protective bubble, much like President Obama did in the media. No one is going to -- no one is -- he did, he got booed.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: He got booed but then people laughed because we're in uncharted territory. It was OK to make fun of Sarah Palin, and they made horrible jokes about her. But the thing that was great about her, she was able to also laugh with them and at herself and she joined it. So, that's how she persevered.

We are about to enter into something we haven't really been involved, because Hillary Clinton did not win the nomination in 2008. We haven't had a Democratic nominee, a woman presidential nominee. So, these jokes and things like Fallon, you kind of have of just keep moving the line, and we'll maybe get to a point of parody.

But at this point -- no, I don't think we're there yet. I don't, at least human nature-wise.

BOLLING: Could a Republican -- I don't know, I guess a comedian -- Greg, you can make that joke and not get in trouble for that joke, right?

GUTFELD: Which one, that one?

BOLLING: The pantsuit, the Hillary pantsuit.

GUTFELD: Yes. But -- I mean, a lot of these jokes, jokes about clothing and jokes about weight. They are tired. They are as tired as brake pads on a driving instructor's car.

BOLLING: What if a Republican talking head said something like that, though?

TANTAROS: Well, it depends on what who said it. Women probably have an easier time criticizing other women. Men probably likely don't. But I think if Hillary becomes the nominee, it's going to be very tough to make jokes about her. She's going to have a lot of people rallying around her.

But if these comedians were smart, they would look at where they get laughs, they would look at where the ratings goes and put humor over ideology. The Chris Christie thing, I do think there's a danger in overreaching with the fat jokes. They do get old after a while, the elephant in room, fat chance. But Christie is genius because he rolls with it like Ronald Reagan did. He used his vulnerability, his weight, like Ronald used his age, as something that he pokes fun at himself for.

GUTFELD: He literally can roll it.

TANTAROS: He really did roll with it.

BECKEL: The only thing I can say is what you just said, could a Republican do that? First of all, you have to find a Republican that's got a sense of humor, which would be a little bit --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: That's what you said last year.

BECKEL: But let me say this, Hillary Clinton is one of the more -- whether or not you like it, she's one of the more popular politicians in America. She does have a diehard group of followers. Part of that was, Greg said is right.

Hillary Clinton, you can make all the fun of her you want, but she is the toughest politician in America today.

BOLLING: Toughest what?

BECKEL: Toughest to beat, particularly with Republicans.

BOLLING: Mostly because of the money, though.

BECKEL: No, you don't have a dog in the fight.

BOLLING: Next up, a woman who wanted to be on reality TV so badly she was willing to abort her unborn child. Is this what the world is coming to? Andrea has got the details.

But, before we go, I wanted to mention that my hometown ballpark, Wrigley Field, turns 100 today. That's baseball the way it was meant to be played and watched. We're going to go to break with the fun and familiar memory, the 7th inning stretch with the one and only Harry Caray.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TANTAROS: Last week, we told you about three filmmakers attempting to make a documentary profiling the horrific crimes committed by serial killer and abortionist Kermit Gosnell. The documentarians have launched the biggest ever crowdfunding campaign to pay for this film. And with three weeks before the funding window closing, they raised 61 percent of their
$2.1 million goal.

Last night on "O'Reilly," actor Nick Searcy from "Justified" explained why this movie needs to be made.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

NICK SEARCY, ACTOR: You don't have to go into gory details and show the blood and gore for this to be a fascinating film. I mean, this was a very well-respected member of his community. This went on for 30 years, with the support of a lot of government programs, and for this sort of situation to continue as long as it did and for Gosnell to continue doing the things that he did so long, it says a lot about society and it's not just an exploitation film as you said. It's a story about why this happened.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

TANTAROS: So a lot of people donating to this film. If you want to donate, I want to get this out of the way, it's visit gosnellmovie.com.

Bob, you have expressed your horror when we covered the Gosnell abortion trial, what he did displaying baby's feet in jars? Why do you think Hollywood won't fund this movie? Why do you think they have to crowdfund it?

BECKEL: I have no idea. I mean, if they're willing to do movies on Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer, which they've done, who are horrible serial killers, I don't understand what their problem is. I mean, if they are arguing that it's just -- you know, it's difficult to show it, I mean, Ted Bundy killed 45 women or something, and Jeffrey Dahmer put his kids in the freezer. I mean, come on! I don't get it.

TANTAROS: Eric, where are Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, if you really investigate what Gosnell did, he would actually take preference over the white women and put them in cleaner rooms. And if you look at the numbers, he aborted far more African-American babies, minority babies that he did white ones. Where are they saying this guy should be pried and have a documentary?

BOLLING: Ands, I have no idea. They -- maybe there's nothing in it for them. Maybe it's not outrageous for them. Maybe it doesn't suit their political dialect.

Some of the crap that's on TV, they can't find a few more hundred grand to make this film, which I think a lot of people are interested in at least knowing what goes and maybe -- again, because of the ideology, because it exposes what goes on at abortion clinic, what probably goes on behind -- I don't know, 200 or 300 more abortion clinics around the country. That doesn't fit their narrative as well.

What are -- isn't there millions of tens of dollars that go into funding the arts? Federal dollars going into funding the arts? They can't find any of this for a documentary on something so important as this?

TANTAROS: And, Dana, who from either side of the aisle can defend this man? This shouldn't even be a partisan issue. People shouldn't be worried I should say about getting behind something like this. It's not exactly controversial to be against someone like him.

PERINO: And in fact, I was -- it was -- we wondered at the time during the trial why there weren't more people that actually support a pro- choice point of view that were out there outraged about him and his actions and defending what they consider to be a safe and legal practice. It is illegal practice.

I do think that supply and demand is an interesting thing when the free market is allowed to work. This idea of crowdfunding for a movie is relatively new. But something else is new, which is how television shows are produced and made, and that because it's not concentrated at one movie house or network anymore and there's a lot of different ways to fund movies, that's why you have actually Nick Searcy of "Justified" who has come out as a conservative in Hollywood. That takes bravery and some courage and some professional success to be able to do that, and then to utilize your success to be able to push forward a project that you think is important in Hollywood.

That is very valuable. That is new and I have a feeling and I hope that we'll see more of it.

TANTAROS: Greg, you know Nick Searcy, he comes on "RED EYE."

GUTFELD: Terrible guy.

TANTAROS: He takes -- he does take a lot of risk coming out in Hollywood, you know, for calls like this. But why? Where are all women's rights groups in Hollywood?

So, even if you're pro-choice, no matter what your views on abortion are, why aren't more maybe women actresses coming out in Hollywood saying this man was mistreating women and female babies and male babies, period?
Where are they?

GUTFELD: This isn't a typical serial killer film. It isn't like Ted Bundy, because the viewer, the producer has no connection to evil. For a vehement pro-choicer, Gosnell's crime was one of poor timing. He was just lousy at his job. He's like a clumsy forklift driver, you know? If he had just done it right, this wouldn't have happened.

But what if Hollywood this is what I was thinking about today -- what if Hollywood actually did the Gosnell picture? Remember, the Liam Neeson film "Non-Stop," the terrorist was a relative of a 9/11 victim. So, let's see if they did Gosnell. It would be a fat white Southern pro-life conservative disguised as an abortionist, who purposely killed babies to bring an end to abortion. That's how they would do it.

BECKEL: You know, you got to give Searcy a lot of credit for this, by the way. You're right.

But you also remember, it was -- nobody in the media covered this story. Remember when we talk about this? We're very few. We did it and a few others, but not many.

TANTAROS: Well, instead of -- go ahead.

BOLLING: Very quickly. Let's be a little fair and balanced here.
Where are the pro-life groups, there's a lot of money there, that if they're going to do something, this would be a nice area --

TANTAROS: Again, I'm going to say gosnellmovie.com, and we'll tweet it out and put it on our Facebook page.

OK. So, while people aren't talking about funding the Gosnell movie, they are talking about this woman, Josie Cunningham. This is what's getting headlined -- a whom who lives in the U.K., who wants to be famous.
She's pregnant, and she wants to get famous, and she thinks if she has an abortion, she can get on a reality show. Here's her in her own words.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOSIE CUNNINGHAM: I would have to say I'm having the abortion to further my career definitely. Another reason was cause after "Big Brother"
approached me, the women to go on the show, they went a bit cold after they saw in recent publication that I was pregnant and I know they'll get back on board, you know, after the abortion.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

TANTAROS: OK. Greg, "Big Brother" has come out. They said, we don't want her as part of the show. So, she canceled her abortion procedure.

GUTFELD: Is it not wrong? I thought everybody is OK with choice?
Like, it's -- I mean, all of a sudden, now they're -- so wait a minute, they have a moral -- they have a spine, they are saying they are against it. I'm surprised because I thought this was just some kind of lifestyle choice of convenience.

But now, because she actually came out and said she's getting an abortion to further her career, they are like oh, that's bad? How many of these -- how many of these actresses on these reality shows have done exactly what she's done but haven't said so?

TANTAROS: She said, Dana, I'm finally on the vernal of becoming famous and she said, now, it's going to be ruined!

PERINO: That's a curious thing. I know that some people I guess have made a career of being on a reality TV show, but it seems to me a strange -
- well, a very weird career choice, and I think -- I would hope that in the U.K., she would realize she has a lot more options in order to make a living.

GUTFELD: I don't think she has many options given her intelligence.

TANTAROS: I would agree with that.

Eric, she also outraged to the public. She's been trying to get famous for a while. In 2013, she demanded 4,800 pounds from the National Health Centers in London for a boob job.

BOLLING: Demanded it?

TANTAROS: She demanded it. She said being flat-chested had, quote,
"ruined: her life and she made headlines last year.

BOLLING: Yes, honestly, I'm just completely disgusted with this human being. If she wants to be famous, she's going to be infamous. She's cold hearted. She's evil. She's pure evil.

It's a human being she's talking about. She's aborting a human being over a few minutes of fame on a reality -- honestly? Good-bye. Good-bye.
I prefer not to even talk about her.

TANTAROS: Isn't that the biggest part of both stories we just covered, Bob? The unborn babies of the Gosnell story and this girl's baby, she's still pregnant, no one is talking about she's playing game with a human life.

BECKEL: It says a lot about culture, too. But if I were this woman go ahead and have all the babies you want, because you are not going to get a job anywhere.

PERINO: Well, wait --

TANTAROS: I don't want to encourage her to have a lot of babies, though. I just want her to go away.

BECKEL: Go away. OK, fine.

TANTAROS: All right. Ahead, liberal rise (ph) on campus now extends beyond the classroom, all the way to the graduation ceremonies. Greg has a list of this year's commencement speakers and their politics up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Twice as many Democrats as Republicans will be giving commencement addresses this year. In other news, I'm short and Chris Matthews is crazy.

Included in this blowhard batch, half of the president's cabinet, which is good news. It means they won't be working. Al Gore will also be scaring kids with his puky panic as Bill Clinton charms the gowns off co- eds in Abu Dhabi.

This is no surprise, given the intolerant nature of the modern campus.
We should be grateful if any righty makes it in. The science is settled.
Liberal bastions of uniform thought seek like-minded lecturers to avoid challenging their assumptions.

To them, inviting a righty to speak on campus is like inviting a piranha to a pool party.

Writer Charles Murray says he was supposed to speak at Azusa Pacific U. but was postponed, because they worried about, quote, "hurting our faculty and students of color." I'll take his word for it, especially after watching the weasels at Brandeis rescind a degree from women's rights activist Hirsi Ali because some students could not bear her words.

Think about how racist this is. You cancel a speaker because you think nonwhites can't handle a diversity of opinion. That's a conclusion more insulting than anything from an old-school bigot. I mean, racists usually operated out of fear of their adversary, but here the faculty just thinks students are too delicate for debate. I'd rather be feared.

So Dana, you spoke, once, right?

PERINO: At a commencement speech.

GUTFELD: That's right.

PERINO: I was scarred by it.

GUTFELD: Yes. What happened?

PERINO: It was my alma matter, University of Southern Colorado, and at the time the university president, who is now lieutenant governor of Colorado, I thought we had a pretty nice chit-chat beforehand, but when he introduced me in front of the crowd, he said, "And now, despite her party affiliations, I'm very proud to introduce Dana Perino as a speaker."

GUTFELD: Yes.

TANTAROS: Come on.

PERINO: It was horrible. I just felt this chill go through me. And then I just decided it's not worth it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Just to go. Students don't listen to you anyway.

GUTFELD: Yes, they don't. Well, that's true. Most of these commencement speeches are just bland, awful, boring, except when you did one.

BECKEL: I've done a number of them. It would be bland and boring. I was trying to think of a Republican except for Rice and maybe a couple of others ones who would be fun to listen to.

But listen, these are -- these kids are by nature liberal.

GUTFELD: Right.

BECKEL: And you go back through this the whole world, they all -- they should listen to -- I mean, what are you going to do? You're going to put somebody like Rand Paul in front of them?

GUTFELD: Rand Paul would be great.

PERINO: He would probably be huge. In the crowd.

BECKEL: I'm trying to think of anybody who I'd like to hear speak in the Republican Party.

GUTFELD: But that's the point, though, Andrea. Is that why are they scared of diversity? Why not upset a few students? Is it because the faculty is afraid of the students coming after them? Is that what it's about?

TANTAROS: Well, I think it's ideology. It's probably that. It's -- so you -- we always suspected that, when it came time to pick the commencement speaker, they just made a list of liberals and wouldn't look at Republicans.

What I think is most horrifying this year, for some reason, is they're actually inviting the Republican and then rescinding the invitation after the students get upset and it becomes public, which is far worse than that.

Also, when I think of a commencement speech, it's not a political pep rally...

GUTFELD: Yes.

TANTAROS: ... in any way. It's not supposed to be about ideology.
Even if you listen to some of the most liberal of the commencement speakers, they don't get into politics. They get into success.

GUTFELD: Right.

TANTAROS: And seeking your dreams and stuff. I don't know why it matters.

BECKEL: You want to listen to Mitch McConnell give a speech?

TANTAROS: You know someone? Ben Carter, he's someone I would love to listen to.

GUTFELD: Or Ben Carson.

TANTAROS: Carson, right.

GUTFELD: But that's a good point, though, Eric, is that why -- shouldn't it be champions of private enterprise? People that have been successful in business? Why does it always have to be a politician?

BOLLING: That's a good point. I would rather hear someone this is how I did it. I think that's what these kids really need.

This is actually perfect. Half of the Obama cabinet is going so speak at commencement speeches this year? But it's perfect, you know. They're going to go through here's how you redistribute your wealth when you get there. Here's how you cover your ass when you get caught with stuff like "Oh, you can keep your doctor" or Benghazi or IRS. These kids are being taught -- or told what to do, prepping them for the liberal wilderness that they're about to enter.

BECKEL: There's not a single administration that doesn't allow their cabinet to speak during graduations.

BOLLING: OK. I'm not going to disagree. Vis-a-vis the purpose of the liberal world.

PERINO: The other thing is, though, that Charles Murray, who you talked about, he actually has just written a book about succeeding in life.

GUTFELD: Perfect for it.

PERINO: He actually has substance about what he's talking about. But who cares about that?

GUTFELD: Who cares? Exactly, Dana.

All right. I thought she'd never stop.

The No. 1 thing that's holding most people back from success at work?
Dana actually has the answer, if you can believe that. It could help you get that promotion you've always wanted, coming up.

BOLLING: Despite her party affiliation.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: OK. Do you work hard but can't seem to get ahead? Maybe you need more flair like this waitress in the classic movie "Office Space"?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Joanna, people can get a cheeseburger anywhere.
OK? They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. OK, that's what flair's about. It's about fun.

JENNIFER ANISTON, ACTRESS: OK, so more, then?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Look, we want you to express yourself, OK. Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, OK, but some people choose to wear more and we encourage that.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: So a good attitude is actually the No. 1 thing holding most people back from success, according to research. One Stanford professor writes performance is only loosely tied to who gets ahead at work. Those able to create a favorable impression actually got higher ratings on their reviews.

That might not be that surprising.

So Bob, I want to ask you, when you were in a position to hire lots of people, when you had your polling business in Washington, D.C., what did you look for in a candidate, honestly?

BECKEL: No that didn't decide that, but that was a part of it. I set aside a quota on that. But no, it was people -- If people didn't look me in the eye, forget about it. If they didn't have a sense of humor, forget about it. If they weren't personable, we could -- we were in the business of out there selling stuff, and so, you know, you could give me a guy from Harvard who was just a boring dork, or give me some kid from the University of Maryland who was engaging and could play golf and liked women.

PERINO: What about you?

GUTFELD: I was going to ask, if it didn't work out, did he still pay for the hour?

PERINO: I meant to do the job of polling. Do you want to go next?
Do you have anything to add?

GUTFELD: What? Yes, oh. I was, as you know...

PERINO: Have a good attitude? Me? Yes, I was very positive. I ran three magazines. There were some things that I -- that a positive attitude is key.

A boss doesn't like to be around somebody who is a chatty weirdo or a complainer and has weird habits. Most important thing, too, is so what?
You've got to show up. If you're going to go out and drink, you've got to show up the next day. You can't -- if you can't handle your hangovers, then you shouldn't be drinking. That always used to drive me crazy at magazines.

And you have to overcome your fear of failure. I think that's bigger than an attitude, is be willing to fail. I got fired from three jobs because I didn't care.

PERINO: Because you were willing to take a risk.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

PERINO: And also play a practical joke that was highly inappropriate, according to your bosses.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: All right, Eric, would you -- can you teach somebody to do what you did as long as they had a good attitude?

BOLLING: You know, my talking point was exactly that, Dana. Before you get to the point where you're wondering if you need a mentor, it's nice to parents. Tough love. Study with your kids. Study with them for tests.
Help them do projects. When they start to tell you, "No, I don't need your help any morel," say, "Yes, you do," and you stay with it. And then they start to learn to motivate themselves and problem solve on their own.

And one last piece of advice that my mom built (ph). Last two words out of her mouth to me, whispered in my ear: "Never quit." And I still to this day believe that. If you don't quit, you'll get what you want.

PERINO: Nice thing to hear from your mom.

Andrea, lots of people ask you for advice and call you all the time.
How can I get ahead? Why won't I get into the -- how do I do this? What do you recommend? What's your No. 1 piece of advice?

TANTAROS: Attitude definitely. Also, you have to be able to do really crappy stuff for a long period of time. You have to not have the attitude that something is beneath. And when someone asks you to do something, don't go back and say, "I can't do it." Or "I'm encountering problems" or "I'm just not sure."

When my dad would tell me to go do something, I had to figure out how to do it. He just wanted it done.

I love the employee that comes back and says, "Did it, done, what's my next task?"

Also just work hard. It really takes a lot of hard work, and the doors aren't going to magically open. You may need to kick some down. You may need to jack open a window and jump through it. But persistence.

PERINO: One of my favorites is anticipate your boss's needs. And what my boss needs right now is for me to tease for the next segment.

They went to pricey prep schools. They probably could have chosen any career they wanted. Why did these young men allegedly end up as the leaders of a suburban school's drug ring? Bob has got the details on that one next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECKEL: Their parents sent them to $35,000-a-year prep schools, likely with the hopes they would go to a good college and get a good job.
But 25-year-old Neil Scott and 19-year-old Timothy Brooks ended up in jail this week. They're accused of a running a massive drug ring in the wealthy suburbs of Philadelphia and allegedly enlisted local students as dealers and customers. Here's the D.A. on the case.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

RISA VETRI FERMAN, PENNSYLVANIA DISTRICT ATTORNEY: This was not a game. These people were in business. They were in business to make money, and they were going to do whatever they need to do to make sure that no one threatened their business. To take those skills and turn it into this kind of an illegal enterprise is very distressing.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BECKEL: You know what's amazing to me? Is how many people, particularly parents in the suburbs, don't get it. Drugs are out there.
There are a lot of them. And interestingly enough, it is white kids who end up being most of couriers these days, running the cocaine from Florida on up. Why? Because they're not black guys who are going to be stopped on the highway.

There are more white kids who come from wealthy backgrounds in my experience, the people I work with, and the parents are clueless -- I mean clueless -- about it.

Eric, are you clueless about it?

BOLLING: No, I'm actually not clueless. I'm very, very well tuned in. You're right, Bob. It's probably everywhere. Not just the public schools. It's the private schools; it's the prep schools; it's everywhere.
It's young people. It's white kids; it's black kids. It's everyone. It's women, girls. Young girls are doing it, too. They're getting in cars.
They're going to places they shouldn't be. They're buying drugs. They're bringing them back, selling half, keeping the other half for themselves.

It's going on. Parents out there, take a look at your kids cell phones. That's where you're going to find out about it.

The problem with this one is it's not just weed they're doing right here. They're selling coke. They're peddling ecstasy. They're peddling some highly dangerous drugs, as well.

BECKEL: That's where a lot of this stuff comes from. Who do you think sells drugs at raves and concerts? It's kids. It's white kids who are carrying it. And they're the ones who, as a matter of fact, don't want to surprise the parents too much, but check your garage. There's a lot of ecstasy being made out in garages.

Greg, did you have something you wanted to say about this?

GUTFELD: This is so hysterical. We're doing this story because the novelty of it. They're preppies. It's like a TNT movie. What's his name, Zach Efron is going to play the lead.

I think it says a lot about how easy it is to get pot to your customers. Because it's illegal, they bring it, they deliver it. It's not like cigarettes where you've got to go buy them yourself. You know what?
If this were the years of the Prohibition, we would see these guys as savvy entrepreneurs, delivering -- supplying a demand. I don't know.

BECKEL: Did you have any kids in your high school who were peddlers?

PERINO: Not that I knew. Yes, there probably were. I have no idea.
Not on the speech team.

BECKEL: Not on the speech team.

PERINO: But some kids go to college and in their dorm room, they create Facebook. Others create ways to destroy other people's life.

BECKEL: You were in college in Pennsylvania, a notoriously big drug area.

GUTFELD: The whole state.

BECKEL: Well, it is. They've got more meth labs in Pennsylvania than virtually any other state.

GUTFELD: Really?

BECKEL: Oh, yes.

TANTAROS: I do think it's Pennsylvania, but I think there's a lot of drugs in most states and...

BECKEL: And in most colleges.

TANTAROS: But I would say on campus, the guys who are the drug dealers were always the richest ones. They came from rich, privileged families. Rumored, let me say, drug dealers. They always were the ones that came from wealthy families, and they looked at it as a way, one, to make money. Also, I think they grew up very privileged, so they didn't want to work that hard.

I mean, if you watch movies like "Blow," I mean, you see this is how cocaine was trafficked. Two kids move out to the West Coast. They see a market. They can fly back and forth; they can fly cocaine from Mexico.
And I think in colleges, it's the rich kids who have their rich friends who are the ones buying it. They figure if they're lazy, they can make a lot of money, and the parents are usually sipping martinis by the country club.
They send their kids to boarding schools. So they're really not engaged.

BECKEL: Yes. Exactly. I mean, my dealer, his father was a CEO a Fortune 500 company. All right. I'll keep your name out, dude.

"One More Thing" is up next.

TANTAROS: That was nice.

(COMMERCIAL BREK)

BOLLING: Time for "One More Thing." I'm going to start it off. One hundred years ago today, Wrigley Field, Chicago's Cubs, Wrigley Field, opened. It's a hundred-year anniversary.

I'll never forget riding my bike, my Schwinn bike. I wasn't there.
My Schwinn bike during the field. I used to wait in left field, Waverly Avenue, for a ball to come over the left field wall. Ernie Banks, Ryan Sandberg, Ron Santo, those were the days. I miss it. A great place.
Harry Caray.

PERINO: You get one?

BOLLING: I never caught a ball. Never got one, but like 20 or 30 kids would just wait for the ball to come over the left field wall and go scramble after it.

All right, Dana, you're up.

PERINO: Now out of left field, you have Bob. Ha. I'm here all week.

OK. And also tomorrow, here tomorrow, and just this week only, Sean Hannity is going to sit in for Eric Bolling. He's having a much-deserved little break with his family, so Sean is going to slum it with us here on "The Five."

BECKEL: Uh.

GUTFELD: That's not very nice.

PERINO: It will be light outside.

GUTFELD: Where do you get this language?

PERINO: From you. Anyway, that's good. Sean Hannity, it's a lot of pressure on him.

BOLLING: No. That's cool. Welcome Sean Hannity tomorrow night.

Greg, you're up.

GUTFELD: All right. It's my fifth week on The New York Times best- seller list. Whoop-de-doo. Keep buying my book. This is me. I was at the Nixon Presidential Library over the weekend. It was awesome. If you ever get to Yorba Linda, I suggest you check it out.

BECKEL: How did you get so tall?

PERINO: Was that podium, like, automatically lowered?

GUTFELD: You know what? This is unnecessary.

TANTAROS: I think he looked great.

GUTFELD: Thank you, Andrea.

TANTAROS: I love that suit.

GUTFELD: There I am at his boyhood home. That's where Nixon was actually born, the real, honest-to-God home.

PERINO: In the house, not at the hospital?

GUTFELD: In the house. I think he was. Yes.

BOLLING: And, you're up.

TANTAROS: I'm bummed about Sean Hannity the next two days. I want to
be away, too. No offense, Eric, but Sean Hannity's great.

BOLLING: You'll be all right.

TANTAROS: Yes, OK.

Here is a question from last night's "Jeopardy" that Dana Perino never would have gotten wrong.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ALEX TREBEK, HOST, "JEOPARDY": This pizza magnate and 2012 presidential candidate was a math major at historically black Morehouse College.

How quickly you have forgotten Herman Cain.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

TANTAROS: Nobody got that answer. I thought these kids were supposed to be smart.

BOLLING: Wow. Wow.

PERINO: They would probably say they only focus on things that are relevant, and that was not relevant to them in their lives. I would say.

BOLLING: OK. Bringing in the rear, Bob Beckel.

BECKEL: As usual. I very rarely say something nice about Clarence Thomas, but he voted on the 6-2 majority on the Michigan case, which I didn't agree with. But the kind of Twitters that he got from people I'm afraid are my size, calling him a Tom, a self-hating negro and calling him
-- the only reason he wants to be on the court is he wants to be with a bunch of white guys. We don't need that kind of stuff.

Dislike the guy what he says or what he stands for, but don't -- don't try to bring race into it. It doesn't do us any good. It never has.

BOLLING: We agree. We concur.

Don't forget to set your DVR so you never miss an episode of the "The Five." We're going to see you back here tomorrow. Sean Hannity will be in the seat tomorrow night. Don't miss it, everybody.

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