MIKE HUCKABEE, HOST OF “HUCKABEE”: It appears that sensitivity over metaphors, similes, and analogies regarding certain words has reached a zenith of political correctness. Even though, there is not a shred of evidence that political rhetoric led to, caused, or even contributed to the Tucson shootings, there is great caution being applied to all things spoken in the media and by politicians. If this new emasculation of the First Amendment takes hold, we probably won't be hearing the President make comments like these anymore:
Other networks have become pretty much language neutered so as not to offend anyone…and in so doing, perhaps not to interest anyone either---CNN's John King provides the perfect example:
Fox News prides itself on being "fair and balanced," but in keeping with the new tenderness of speech, I want my show to go even further…I want us to be so fair as to be unfair and so balanced as to be unbalanced. That way we can deliver an even deeper and more absolute politically correct approach to bringing insights to you. In keeping with that, my comments will now be carefully screened by Dr. Rube Churl -- renowned professor of rhetoric at Puerile University.
He will listen to my comments and if I say something not in keeping with the new standards of political speech, he will sound this buzzer --
and suggest an alternative word or phrase. Are you ready, Dr. Churl?
DR.RUBE CHURL, PROFESSOR, PUERILE UNIVERSITY:Ready - please proceed.
HUCKABEE:This week, the House dropped a bombshell --
CHURL:The word bombshell implies war and violence; try using, "a significant incendiary device."
Okay the House dropped a significant incendiary device by voting to repeal the Obamacare bill. Despite the House vote, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said it would come to the Senate floor over his dead body
CHURL:Dead body is not appropriate-let's try "my non-animated physical presence."
HUCKABEE:Senate Majority Leader Reid said the bill would come to the Senate floor over his non-animated physical presence, which was the opening shot in the battle.
CHURL:Governor, there are 2 heated words opening shot and in the battle. We need to replace these ---let's say the first point of dispute in the disagreement.
HUCKABEE:Seriously? Okay----Senate Majority Leader Reid said the bill would come to the floor over his non-animated physical presence which was the first point of dispute in the disagreement between the 2 sides. The Senate Minority leader Mitch McConnell responded, "That son of a gun…"
CHURL:Gun is no longer a word we can employ---let's try that son of a hand-held decimation device.
HUCKABEE:Okay….the Senate Minority Leader responded, "That son of a hand-held decimation device."
The Republicans stuck to their bullet points
CHURL:Powder powered Projectile points...
HUCKABEE:Okay….and focused on the job killing
Right, right, right---I get that point. Okay, the job euthanasia bill….and then they voted to bury
Of course, we can’t use that either. They voted to conclusively conceal in an underground manner…the bill.
So, here's this week's recap, in our new unfair and unbalanced style:
This week, the House dropped a significant incendiary device by voting to repeal the Obamacare Bill. Despite the House vote, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said it would come to the Senate floor over his non-animated physical presence, which was the first point of dispute in the disagreement between the 2 sides. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell responded, "That son of a hand held decimation device!" The Republicans stuck to their powder powered projectile points and they focused on the job euthanasia bill and voted to conclusively conceal it in an underground manner that very bill."
Not sure that political commentary will ever be the same….
By the way my thanks tonight to Dr. Churl played very ably by the wonderful Ryan Reiss, a local comedian and part of our show. Ryan thank you very much or should I say Dr. Churl. Oh well, if you think we've gone way too far in the world of political correctness or if you disagree and you think we ought to eliminate any word that might be taken the wrong way, why don’t me let me hear from you---contact me at mikehuckabee.com.
That's my view, I welcome yours. E-mail your comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org
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Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee is a 2016 Republican candidate for president of the United States.