The first thought that comes to mind when someone mentions cheating is probably sex. But cheating can be much more complicated than that. When it comes to emotional cheating, or cybersex, insisting to your girlfriend or wife that you "didn’t even have sex" isn’t exactly going to polish your halo. The playing field has opened up, creating some serious gray areas. Is confiding in a woman other than your partner cheating? Or perhaps that lap dance you enjoyed last night?Read on to discover if you are, in fact, cheating.
Getting a lap dance
You’re out with the boys or at a bachelor party, and a gyrating sex goddess decides to give you a lap dance. It’s a bit of good fun that you enjoyed, and you’d probably do it again in the future if the opportunity presented itself.
Are you cheating? No.There’s nothing intimate about this cheating sign, despite its appearance. It’s along the same lines as a male stripper amusing the girls — just innocent fun. This woman dances for a living, just for entertainment purposes; it’s not like you were at a club and got seduced by a woman who took you aside and engaged in anything sexual. That, on the other hand, would be a very different story.
Hiding female friendships
You’re a guy who has female friends who are important to you. However, you don’t necessarily want to talk about your female friends with your girlfriend because she is possessive and might tell you to break off your friendships. By keeping the friendships a secret you can have some bonding time with your female friends and ensure happy dealings with your woman.
Are you cheating? Yes. Sorry to say, but you’re basically sneaking around behind your girlfriend’s back. Although it’s not overtly sexual, the fact is you’re still keeping things secret from her.
We don’t want to sound like Dr. Phil, but that’s never healthy, because secrecy can be a form of betrayal. You might want to ask yourself what you think you have to hide if you’re hiding friendships from your girlfriend. Be open about your life — your girlfriend is a part of it, after all — and if she has her own insecurities, perhaps your secrecy is really a symptom of a bigger problem in your relationship that needs working on, such as lack of trust.
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Getting deep with another woman
No, not that kind of deep; we mean the talking kind. There are some things you find yourself talking about with another woman — maybe it’s your relationship, maybe it’s something about your girlfriend that’s frustrating to you. It’s not that you can’t talk to your girlfriend, but some things you just feel more comfortable talking about with people outside of the relationship. It’s no biggie when you confide in one of the guys, so is chatting to a woman on a deeper level a cheating sign?
Chat rooms or cybersex
You regularly visit online chat rooms and have conversations (along with some flirting) with various women whom you do not know. Once or twice you might even have had cybersex. It’s no biggie: it’s not like you know these women in real life or actually touched them. So there’s no problem, right?
Are you cheating? Yes.Although this scenario might first appear to be harmless fun because you’re not physically engaging with women, it does classify as cheating because of the following: Firstly, if you’re hiding it from your partner, it’s because you know she’ll be upset. Secondly, you are going outside your relationship for sexual excitement. It might not be physical closeness, but there’s no denying you are sharing sexual behaviors.
Hiding meetings with your ex
You and your ex are not romantically interested in each other anymore and sometimes meet up for drinks after work. Purely innocent, yes, but you have not told your girlfriend for the simple reason that you fear she won’t understand.
Are you cheating? Yes.Regardless of why you have not disclosed the info to your girlfriend, you are doing something that you wouldn’t do with her knowledge. The secrecy is the problem in this scenario because it’s keeping your girlfriend in the dark so you can have your cake and eat it too — even if the cherry on the cake does not include getting to shag your ex. If you feel guilty about something or you feel the need to hide it, then it’s cheating. Period.
Activities with a female friend
You regularly go biking with your female work colleague because you both share a love of the outdoors. You and your best female friend sometimes go to dance class together. Your respective partners do not join you on your excursions.
Are you cheating? No.Friendships are an important part of life and you can share different kinds of closeness with friends than you do with your partner. Who says your partner has to tag along with you every time you’re spending time with another woman? That’s a dark ages mentality. There’s no harm having some blameless fun with other women and sharing activities with them — as long as sex is not the shared hobby, of course.
Feeling attracted to someone else
Although you’re happily attached, you can’t help but feel attracted to your colleague or friend. Maybe you ogle her every now and then when she wears that tight dress.
Are you cheating? No.Just because you’ve admired another woman’s looks or felt a bit of sexual attraction to her, you’re not a cheat for the simple fact that you haven’t done anything more than have a look. If this were cheating, then what about watching porn? Or having a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? Every single attraction to the opposite sex would be considered unfaithful behavior, which would be ridiculous.
Are you cheating? Ask Your Conscience
Naturally, everyone has differing definitions for cheating. Your chick might have her own ideas about what is and isn’t cheating, so it’s no wonder the issue can lead to some heated, awkward moments.A good guide is to gauge your own feelings: If you feel guilty about an activity you partook in or feel the urge to cover your tracks, then you’re heading into cheating territory.