So the Barefoot Bandit is in jail and it got me to thinking — and thinking rules!
I asked myself: Why do so many news networks romanticize a criminal, just because he doesn't own any shoes? And how stupid can a criminal be that he kept going barefoot when his odds of capture would have dropped if he put on some Keds? Or at least some tasteful pumps?
Bottom line: He's a nice-looking white kid who's committing seemingly victimless crimes, so the media — and even some of his "victims" — are letting him off the hook.
But there are victims. Insurance companies have to pay for the stolen crap, which raises our premiums. Plus, this idiot was lucky he didn't kill anyone. He could have flown that plane into a school full of hot lingerie models and that would have sucked.
Meanwhile, his mom (a real winner) is trying to make book and movie deals, which these days makes sense. Since the late '50s when Hollywood started making flicks that glorified bank robbers, we know crime pays. I just watched Johnny Depp play John Dillinger over the weekend, and God it stunk. Mainly because my apartment's a mess and something died in the fridge, but you get the idea.
Fact is, our culture finds it easier to romanticize those who don't do the right thing, because doing the right thing is boring! And if you'd ask most folks, they'd rather hang with the devil than get a minute with God.
Anyway, if this hero worship should encourage other teens to leave school and steal planes sans shoes, then they should be punished no differently than an Oakland looter, because it's pretty much the same thing.
Well, unless they're hot.
And if you disagree with me, you're a racist homophobic Nazi.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.