Let’s face it: Sex is on our minds all the time. We live it, breathe it and will do almost anything to get it. A man’s sex drive is an innate, natural force. With sex and desire playing such important roles in our lives, you’d think we would all have a better grasp on it. However, truth be told, many men are misinformed about sex, from how to get the most pleasure out of their love life to how to stay safe and healthy in the bedroom. Want to test your sex IQ? Check out these top 10 sex myths to see how your knowledge stacks up.
10. GREAT SEX COMES NATURALLY
The physical chemistry you see on TV and in the movies suggests that when two lovers meet, sparks fly and mind-blowing sex naturally follows. As we all know, in the real world, it’s not always that easy. The human body doesn’t come with an instruction manual. The “tricks of the trade” that pleased a former partner do not always translate with someone new. Good communication is the key to good sex, as is a willingness to be open to trying new techniques and positions to find out what each partner finds pleasurable. It can be a little awkward at first to over-communicate during sex, but think about the outcome: a partner who knows how to do it right every time.
9. MEN HAVE MORE SEXUAL URGES THAN WOMEN
Though many men would have you believe they’re ready to go 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the truth is that men experience daily fluctuations in libido, as do women. A man’s readiness to hop in the sack can be impacted by many of the same factors that impact a woman’s level of desire, including diet, sleep, health, stress, medical conditions, self-confidence, and relationship disharmony.
8. AFTER A CERTAIN AGE, SEX IS NO LONGER IMPORTANT
Sex is an important aspect of physical and emotional health and well-being for adults of all ages, even those in their golden years. While some people believe that a decrease in libido is a natural part of aging, a loss of sexual desire can be related to a number of other factors including hormone deficiencies, depression, anxiety disorders, side effects of medication, changes to a relationship, communication barriers, or loss of a spouse or partner.
7. VIAGRA IS THE ANSWER
While many people believe Viagra and other similar oral medications are the best or only treatment for men with erectile dysfunction, the truth is that for many men these drugs are not a viable option or they simply are not effective. Oral medications are only a temporary fix to a problem that may have other underlying health causes that should be addressed by a qualified physician. In addition, many men with health conditions, including hypertension and diabetes, cannot take oral prescriptions due to serious potential side effects or contraindications with other medications. For men who cannot use oral meds, there are a number of other options including urethral suppositories and ICP, an injection that produces an erection within minutes.
6. SIZE MATTERS
Even if every guy you know can probably tell you exactly how big his penis is — size is not a barometer for manhood. As anyone with sexual experience knows, true sexual enthusiasm far outweighs any gifted parts. And contrary to another popular sex myth, the size of your member has nothing to do with the size of your hands or feet.
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5. CERTAIN FOODS CAN PUT YOU IN THE MOOD
Named for the Greek goddess of sensuality and love, aphrodisiacs are said to put you in the mood. While oysters, dark chocolate, strawberries, and tiger penis might make you feel l’amour, there is no scientific evidence to support the validity of aphrodisiacs. However, while there is no science to foods and/or herbs causing arousal, a certain food can trigger an erotic memory or desire in your own mind — so in a sense, we all have our own aphrodisiacs.
4. ORAL SEX IS SAFER THAN VAGINAL SEX
From teenagers to former President Bill Clinton, oral sex seems to have the stigma of a “free pass” as far as sexual relationships go. Yes, it does count as sex, and yes, you can get a sexually transmitted disease from oral sex. There is still an exchange of fluids, meaning that diseases can enter your body through sores or small cuts in your mouth and throat.
3. PREMATURE EJACULATION ONLY AFFECTS YOUNG MEN
Some men do find that premature ejaculation begins at the onset of sexual maturity, but plenty of men also find it to be an issue later in life. In fact, premature ejaculation affects 30% of men at sometime in their lives.
Often, early ejaculation in men who are in their 30s or older is a co-symptom of erectile dysfunction or fatigue, poor cardiovascular conditioning, depression, anxiety, or neurological symptoms.
2. FANTASIZING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE IS A BAD THING
A large part of the sexual experience starts with your brain, not your body, and sometimes your brain can wander. If you are committed to your lady, and your relationship is in a good place, it’s OK to think about Angelina (Jolie) or Megan (Fox) every now and then.
1. WOMEN CAN'T GET PREGNANT IF…
The “pull-out” method, also known as the rhythm method, is potentially the worst possible form of birth control. Men do not always know when ejaculatory fluid begins to seep out — and even ahead of a perceptible orgasm, pre-ejaculate (which includes sperm) is released and is enough to get a woman pregnant. In fact, one in five couples who use this method as their only form of birth control over the course of a year will end up pregnant.
Now that you’ve brushed up your knowledge on the top 10 sex myths, you can go out and have the best sex of your life. Just remember: While it is very important to stay safe and be smart, sex is not only a necessary bodily function, but also a very enjoyable bodily function.
Dr. Barry Buffman is a Board Certified urologist and the director of the Los Angeles Boston Medical Group. In the course of his career, Dr. Buffman has enjoyed over 20 years of private surgical practice specializing in sexual dysfunction, oncology and trauma.