So, you've made it to the second date. Good job. You’re relieved, you obviously made a good impression and she wants to see you again, but now what?
What is she expecting? And, more importantly, what could ruin the potentially good thing you have going on?
The Girls’ Perspective
Of course all girls are made differently, inside and out, but there are universal standards that can bring guaranteed success on your second date, no matter how unusual the girl you’re going after is.
AskMen.com talked to five different girls, all of them different ages with different life goals (yes, all of them are hot), to find overall common answers on what can make or break the success of a second date. This article will give you the inside scoop on how to make your second date a winning success.If you follow these three tips, along with the cheat sheet tricks, you’ll come in first on your second date — and you’ll be gliding into the ever famous third date in no time.
1. Make her feel comfortable by…
A) Being yourself — just act naturally
This is the most important rule of all. Usually when a second date is considered unsuccessful, it’s because the guy wasn’t being himself — he was trying too hard. So, don’t do or say anything that feels unnatural or forced. If you’re comfortable, she’ll be comfortable. The best thing to do is to keep in mind that if you lose this one, it’s not the end of the world, so relax. Don’t try to impress her; she’ll see right through you. Just have fun with her.
Cheat sheet trick: A good trick is to pay attention to how you speak. You should sound natural and at ease with yourself. Avoid using cliché lines like, "Pick you up at 8?" Instead, stick with a more natural language. Call her up and say, "I’d like to come get you. Where’re you gonna be later on?"
B) Getting rid of any awkward situations
You don’t want her to associate you with any kind of awkwardness — on your part or on hers. Do whatever it takes to make your date free of uncomfortable situations so that the two of you can be relaxed and enjoy each other.
Cheat sheet trick: Take charge and pick her up rather than meeting her somewhere and having her waiting in a strange place by herself. Worse yet, she walks into a strange place alone with you already there, watching as she clumsily stumbles around looking for you.
C) K.I.S.S: Keep it simple stupid
Don’t do anything spectacular or you’ll scare her off. Plan an activity that’s different from the first date, but make sure it’s nothing too demanding. The second date is about getting to know each other better. Have a few options planned, but don’t force her to choose or she’ll feel put on the spot.
Cheat sheet trick: Do something light and fun. Think of little destinations or missions the two of you could go on that are easy. For instance, go on a mission to get a specific brand of Popsicles and walk in the park with them or go try homemade raspberry beer at a bar that makes its own brew. Make it an event, but a simple one. Your best bet is to make it casual and painless.
2. Make her feel she’s interesting by….
A) Using your memory
A man’s memory is the quickest way to a woman’s heart. Show her you remembered details she mentioned on your last date. This will win her over, guaranteed. Girls go crazy when a guy remembers things she said about herself.
Cheat sheet trick: If you remember a few details she told you about her life on the first date — how many siblings she has or a little story — and you bring them up again, you’re gold in her books.
B) Asking more questions
Some of the most successful second dates were winners because the guy knew how to ask questions. Asking her lots of questions will make her feel special. But balance it out: You don't want to sound or feel forced. And don’t ask cliché questions or you’ll come off as anxious and desperate. You have to show interest and make your questions interesting at the same time.
Cheat sheet trick: Instead of saying, "Uh… you wanna get a drink or something?" Say something like, "Lets step inside for a drink. I’m intrigued by you. I want to ask you some questions." Then ask about her life growing up, ask what her nightmares were, what her parents were like, what her biggest fears were.
To keep your questions sounding natural, a good trick is to look at her and ask her questions about one of her current attributes like, "Where’d you get that watch?" or, "So how much time did it take you to grow your hair that long? Really? What was the shortest you ever had your hair?"
C) Looking into her eyes
Looking into a woman’s eyes shows her that you have self-confidence and that you can be trusted. It will make her feel important, attractive, and it will get both your pheromones going.
Cheat sheet trick: When she’s talking, don’t get shifty. Look straight into her eyes; you’ll see that it’ll get her excited because she’ll feel that she has your full attention. If she gets shifty, you're being too intense.
Remember: You don't want to look unnatural, so don't overdo it with the gazing.
More From AskMen.com:
3. Make her feel wanted not needed by…
A) Complimenting her on three different things:
Complimenting is tricky: It’s all about balance. Make a conscious effort not to overdo the compliments. Make her feel wanted, but don’t put yourself below her. Don’t just make her feel lucky for having good qualities; make her feel lucky that her good qualities are appreciated by you. Do this by saying things like, "I think you are so much fun," instead of, "Wow. You are so much fun." Putting yourself into the compliment equation makes you look less desperate which, in the long run, is more of a compliment for her.
Cheat sheet tip: Choose three different things — and we mean different — you like about her, and give her a nice compliment on each throughout the date.
Things you can think about are:
— Her looks (hair, legs, eyes, smile);
— Her style (clothes, shoes, bag);
— Her taste (in music, food);
— Her personality (intelligence, how fun she is, how easy she is to talk to).
And start your compliments with: "I think..." or "I find..."
B) Thinking "I want…" vs "Should we...?"
Another sure way to a woman’s heart is in the language you use. Make her feel wanted by starting sentences with "I want" and then including her in them.
Remember: You must include her in the phrase or else you'll come across as selfish. Your goal is to make her feel good about herself and her relationship with you. Everyone wants to be wanted.
Cheat sheet tip: Say things like, "I want to have a drink with you" instead of "We should have a drink " or "Do you want to have a drink?" For example, instead of saying "I thought we might go here," say "I want to go here with you."
C) Showing her she’s desired, not admired
You have to be very careful to show her that you want her physically, but that you don’t need to be with her. This way you'll look less desperate. Girls love a guy who's relaxed and not needy. Make your second date a fun exchange between two people. Expect a slight make-out session, but nothing too heavy. You’re both hot for each other, but you’re still feeling each other out.
Cheat sheet tip: Don’t ask permission to kiss her — girls hate that. It puts her too high on a pedestal and it puts you way below her. Being at her feet won’t make her feel sexy: She has to feel like she’s scoring too, not that you’re trying to score and it’s up to her to decide if she wants you. Girls want to feel desired, not admired. Tell her you want to kiss her; tell her you think she has beautiful lips and then go for it.
Ultimate Rule: Don't bring a gift, just show her a good time
Don’t bring flowers! Flowers are too formal and too cliché. Contrary to popular belief, many girls are uncomfortable receiving gifts, especially on the second date. Don’t bring her anything. Instead of a gift, offer her a simple compliment like, "I’ve been looking forward to seeing you again" or "Wow, you look great."
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
So remember: Relax. Be yourself and make her feel comfortable. Keep it light, easy and simple. Make her feel that she’s wanted by you without coming across as desperate, and most of all, make it fun and you'll have a successful second date.