You’re dressed fly and feeling confident to reel in your pretty prey, so ensure that what comes out of your mouth doesn’t wreck your mission. Watch out for these five first-conversation mistakes that could cause you to kiss her digits goodbye.
1. Talking About Exes
When you get the conversation going with that hot bombshell at the bar, you might think spilling out some personal feelings is the way to go. After all, this is a conversation with a woman, and women are sensitive, chatty, emotional beings who appreciate men who can express genuine emotion without flinching. True as that may be, if the conversation moves on to heavy topics such as difficult ex-partners and messy breakups, you’re in danger of making a bad impression because you're making one of our five first-conversation mistakes. Your first conversation is supposed to be fun, light and intriguing, not weighed down with emotional baggage.
2. Talking About Money
You know women are impressed by men who have status and wealth. You’ve seen how they’re attracted to the men driving those red-hot Lambos. You want her to know she’s talking to a guy who’s on his way to scoring all those things. But is that new work project set to propel you one step closer to being the next Donald Trump really what she wants to talk about on a Saturday night over vodka shots? No. Refrain from tooting your own horn and keep talk about money off the table (unless you’re offering to pay for her drink) because it makes you come across as arrogant and pretentious — making it a conversation mistake.
3. Dousing Her With Flirts
When you approach a woman you need to arm yourself with some charming, flirtatious tactics, but they have to be original and genuine if you want to stand out from the pack of guys who are also pulling moves on this hottie. Think of all those pickup-line guys making a play for the bar. Leave them all in the dust by bearing in mind that less is more with women and flirting. If you make it honest and sparse, the compliments will be remembered.
Don’t assume flattery will get you everywhere because women can see right through it. Move in for a natural conversation without coming on too strongly. You want her to know you appreciate what you see, but you’re also curious to get to know more about her than meets the eye. The best way to have her reciprocate your efforts is to ensure she knows you’re interested in chatting to her, not just chatting her up.
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4. Leaving Your Ears Behind
Focusing too much on what your mission is (that is: making a great impression and pocketing her digits by the end of the night) can be seen as concentrating so much on the wood that you miss out on the trees. What we mean is; if you end up placing all your attention on your strategy, you miss out on what’s going on with her. Doesn’t a hunter need to know about his prey before he fastens his target? In this case, your prey wants to be heard and acknowledged, so stop talking so much and let her take the stage. She’ll be impressed by a man who cares to listen more than by a man who can dazzle her with his verbal gymnastics.
5. Overstaying Your Welcome
You made your move, the conversation is moving along swimmingly and you’re having such a good time that you have completely surrendered to it. What happens next? You’ve exhausted the conversation, she’s checking her watch and leaving, plus she has no reason to return because there’s no mystery surrounding you to lure her back. It’s a known fact that people often want what they can’t have — give them something too easily garnered and they’ll lose interest faster than you can introduce yourself.
The best strategy is to end the conversation prematurely, soon after you’ve piqued her attention, then move on and act like you’ve got friends waiting for you. It might be difficult if you feel the conversation was leading to the good stuff, but it will serve you well. She’ll be left hanging and interested in starting up conversation No. 2.
Gift of Gab
Whether you have the gift of gab or not, you've likely inadvertently made one of these mistakes and were left wondering what went wrong. The biggest lesson you can learn here is to take it easy, don't care so much and leave before she gets tired of you.