So, Usama bin Laden must be giggling like a school girl riding a unicycle over a cobblestone road. While we fail Terror Prevention 101, the turbaned turd is laughing at us for taking baby steps against bombers.

For him, turning BVDs into IEDs is so last decade. If anything, radical Islam has set their sights on far bigger fish and even if it takes them a decade to get nukes, no biggie, they've got an eternity.

Meanwhile, I hung up on Time Warner Cable after being put on hold for five minutes, because I'm a dope.

So how can our government acknowledge this larger, scarier threat, when they can't acknowledge the current, manageable one?

By ignoring basic principles of profiling, they let Mr. Exploding Underpants through. And rather than call him a wartime combatant, he's now being lawyered up. Which, in a sense, rewards the guy for making it this far. Think about it: Getting caught must be awesome. Here's a guy starved for attention, looking for a noble purpose and it lands right in his groin. He'll be listened to, coddled and bargained with. Suddenly, the punk has power.

This has got to be one of those teachable moments for terrorists. Too bad it's not one for our president. During his weekly address, he linked the attempted atrocity to Yemen's "crushing poverty." I guess he forgot the terrorist is rich.

Anyway, if America cannot grapple with this attack, imagine trying to prevent something far more devastating, like a second season of "Jersey Shore."

And if you disagree with me, you're probably a racist.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld