President Obama will get his massive economic stimulus bill passed unless something dramatic happens at the last minute.

Thursday morning, the feds announced that more than 600,000 Americans lost jobs last week, and almost five million workers are currently on the beach. So there is massive pressure on the president and Congress to do something, and spending a trillion dollars is that something.

Now, it gets us nowhere to lament. Republicans have made their statement. They are opposed to the bill, with just three exceptions. However, we have to face reality.

"Talking Points" has no idea whether the massive spending will blunt the recession. It is impossible to know that for sure.

Worst case scenario is that the recession deepens and inflation explodes. Could happen. Best case scenario is that the economy picks up some steam, banks start lending and people begin spending more. Could happen.

Spending was indeed up in January without the stimulus, the first time in seven months.

Now, I fully understand why most Republicans are opposed to the president's bill. It goes against everything the Grand Old Party stands for, and if it fails, the Republicans will be stronger for their opposition.

I also understand the desperation that both President Bush and President Obama have brought to the debate, and that worries me. If both these guys — dramatically opposed in their beliefs — see tremendous danger, then we should take that seriously.

Again, I wish I could predict what will happen, but I can't. And I believe no one can. This economic collapse is simply too complicated and chaotic.

And that's "The Memo."

Pinheads & Patriots

Our pal Dolly Parton did a political riff a few days ago.

Click here to watch "Pinheads & Patriots"!

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DOLLY PARTON, SINGER: Somebody said to me, well you know what? You've just got such a big mouth and you just know how to talk to people. Did you ever think about running for president? And I said, "I think we've had enough boobs in the White House."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Boobs, of course, meaning blooters. Look it up. Ms. Parton is a patriot for keeping it pithy.

On the pinhead front, actor Joaquin Phoenix, who played a Roman emperor in "Gladiator," went toe to toe with David Letterman last night.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DAVID LETTERMAN, HOST, "LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN": How is the beard?

JOAQUIN PHOENIX, ACTOR: In what way?

LETTERMAN: Well, is it comfortable? Is it itchy? Is it — are you pleased with it?

PHOENIX: I'm not sure there's anything weird about it.

LETTERMAN: I'm sorry. I'm making you feel weird about it?

PHOENIX: Is there something wrong?

LETTERMAN: I can't be the first one to make you feel weird about it.

PHOENIX: No, I guess not.

LETTERMAN: Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight.

PHOENIX: That's funny. That's funny.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

It looks like Mr. Phoenix might be a bit shaky. His brother, River, died from a drug overdose, you may remember. We wish the best for Joaquin, but he is acting like a pinhead.

You can catch Bill O'Reilly's "Talking Points Memo" and "Pinheads & Patriots" weeknights at 8 and 11 p.m. ET on the FOX News Channel and any time on foxnews.com/oreilly. Send your comments to: oreilly@foxnews.com