Your Grrrs: Nov. 16, 2006

Here are a few of your responses to Mike's last column...

Paul M. writes: You are indeed correct in that the world is overrun with Oblivions. My favorite flavor is the "I have a dog and it barks all day and night and there is nothing I can do about it" kind. However, you stated Rush Limbaugh is an oblivion, which could not be further from the truth. I find him to be a brilliant observer of human behavior. His Michael Fox comment is a fine example. Rush was NOT making fun of Fox’s disease, and if you listened to his show you would clearly have recognized that. You probably just heard the mainstream media’s (Now THERE are obliviots for you) sound bites and their wildly skewed analysis. And Rush WAS right: Michael J Fox has admitted in the past to not taking his meds to demonstrate the ravages of the disease, so why not believe he might do it again. And just because Rush has had an issue with drug abuse in the past does that mean he is not allowed to ever comment on anything related to drugs. I am sure you have done at least ONE oblivion-like thing in the past. The ironic thing is that you then make a sarcastic remark about Rush’s "Infinite Wisdom" even while you don’t have the facts about him. Hoist by your own petard! Nevertheless, keeping mocking true Oblivions, I thoroughly enjoy it.

Maryann B. writes: I think it all started with Robert Ringer's book "Looking out for Number One" and the mindset of the times that went with it. Waaaay back when? Early '70s? I remember reading that book and thinking "Uh Oh, here it comes...." And it did. Anyway, I like your column. I don't share your politics, but must agree with much of what you say. What a sorry mess we're in, but we can still laugh. Thanks.

Rob from Ft. Walton Beach, Fla., writes: Enjoying your writing as always, the one bright spot in my otherwise bland day. But I have to disagree with your "grrr" at NFL players for their celebrations. It's stuff like that that makes football fans call it the "No Fun League." No, I don't do an end zone celebration when I do my job. But, I DO celebrate when I do something very well. I may not pull a Sharpie out of my Dockers, autograph a TPS report and hand it to the janitor, but I do go out to an extra dinner that week or treat myself to a new guitar amp. Remember, people watch the NFL to be entertained, and those guys making incredibly athletic plays and then celebrating it give us something to cheer about. Willie Nelson put on the worst concert I've ever seen -- he sat, played guitar, and left. That's his job. But Aerosmith, with their fireworks and running and jumping, are FAR more entertaining. And that's what it's all about.

Christopher C. Football Grrr: When did it become mandatory that every NFL and top-level college football team have at least one player with hair flowing out of his helmet and down his back? Make me the Commish or head of the NCAA and see that obvious safety violation cut out NOW! In the meantime, I want to see every game have at least one instance of these freaks tackled by that same flowing hair, preferably with one neck fracture per week (non-paralyzing, non-lethal, please). Besides, ain't that a violation of the merchandising wing of the league, since the hair covers some of the logos and other decorations? And why do so many players now have so few pads? When I was playing college ball, every player had a helmet, shoulder pads, hip pads, tailbone pad, thigh pads and knee pads with pants that covered the whole knee. It was all on a poster required by the NCAA to be in every locker room. Now most knees on "skill" players are bare. In the NFL, many players have helmets, shoulder pads and Bermuda shorts. Whaaaaaat?

Robert R. Grrrs: Mike, my Grrrr goes out to the obliviots who pull up next to you at a stop sign while you are trying to observe traffic from either the left or right depending. The obliviot in a car with heavily tinted windows or a truck or SUV pulls up in the lane next to you and completely blocks your view in the direction of oncoming traffic, making it impossible to safely turn until they have completed their move. It is obvious to any marginally intelligent driver that someone waiting at an intersection with their turn signal on needs to see oncoming traffic to complete their turn. If the selfish, self-centered obliviot would stop just 6 feet back of my front side window, we BOTH could see oncoming traffic and execute our next move but NO, he/she must pull up not next to you but ever so slightly ahead of you rendering it impossible to see anything but their big fat gas guzzler. Grrrrr !!!!

CJ writes: For years I had said exactly what you are saying about Obliviots begetting Obliviots. As a U.S. Marine and farm boy, I must have a license to fish or hunt on my own property. I must prove that I am a responsible adult and take a Hunters Safety Course then apply for my license. I must carry this license on me at all times while fishing or hunting, but to have a child I must prove nothing. You don't have to prove your maturity, your ability to provide for the child, nor your ability to raise said child into a productive citizen. Am I the only one who see the hypocrisy in this? I know some people argue that having children is an act of God, but rainstorms are acts of good too, and we wear rubbers for them ... I love the column, it's just too bad that the people we are discussing aren't smart enough to realize their own Oblivion/Obliviot ways.

Angela V. writes: If you're looking for Obliviots breeding more Obliviots, have I got one for you. I was driving home last night from work right as it was getting dark and had my headlights on bright, as deer are prevalent where I live. I came around the last curve and there was a father and his two children on their bikes with no headlights on the bikes nor was anyone wearing any kind of reflective clothing, or helmets for that matter. The only that alerted me to their presence were the red reflectors on the bikes. As I slowed down to pass them, the father gave a somewhat dirty look, as if it was my fault they had to get over to the side of the road for me to pass. It frightens me to think this father is showing his children it’s perfectly fine to be on bicycles after dark on a rural country road, with no regards to safety whatsoever. PS: Love your column!

Alison M. writes: I'm disgusted with political correctness ... this year, I will say Merry Christmas to folks. To those who find such holiday cheer offensive, here's an idea: respond with a Happy Hanukkah right back at me! Or Happy Kwanzaa. Or Jolly Winter Solstice. Or Have a Nice Day, if you don't celebrate anything this time of year. I can guarantee you that if someone wished me a Happy Kwanzaa or Joyful Hanukkah, I wouldn't go whining to the ACLU. Lighten up, people! It's a greeting that reflects good will toward men (and that would refer to mankind, thereby including women, so don't cry to NOW). I'm not expecting you to run to your nearest church and convert to Christianity because I said Merry Christmas. I actually am NOT Christian. I celebrate the sparkly-tree-gaudy-lights-Santa-and-his-reindeer Christmas. And it's OK for me. I'm happy. I don't want to convert, be converted or do anything other than celebrate the fact that if we could just stop being overly-sensitive, my-way-or-the-highway, politically correct Obliviots, the world could be a really cool place.

Kristine M. from Huntsville, Ala., comments on Kelly C.'s Grrr: Speaking of the definition of "Oblivion", I thought it was pretty funny when I read Kelly C.'s grrr. She was upset that a big corporate company was pulling an Internet scam by charging her for a product she didn't like. She felt this way because she had ordered their product, tried it, didn't like it so therefore didn't order any more. How amazed she was when she was charged for the product!!! I guess the company's psychic hadn't gotten around to reading Ms. Kelly's mind yet. It never occurred to Ms. Kelly to return the product or call to cancel. If ALL the fine print was read, as she claimed, I dare say it mentioned she would become a monthly customer if she didn't cancel. And, honestly, isn't it just common sense that you would need to cancel? Any company that has my credit card information is going to receive a call from me if I don't want what they are selling. C'mon, people, show a little intelligence!

Sheri from Frankfort, Ky., responds to Josh R. (Your Grrrs: Nov. 14): Love the attitude. When I see people write in like this to the Grrr column the first thing that jumps to mind is -- here is our classic oblivion. When they have this attitude about a column written for a humorous effect I can just see them "strutting" around annoying people all day. Never notice because everything is about them. I absolutely love your column and appreciate the fact that you are trying to put a little humor in an otherwise humorless world.

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