"I have to figure out why I do what I do to myself," the 54-year-old wife/manager of rocker Ozzy Osbourne says in an interview in People magazine's Oct. 30 issue. "I think I have some sort of self-destruction button."
Osbourne, who has written a memoir, "Sharon Osbourne Extreme," had surgery in 1999 to have the gastric band put inside her, but intends to shed it in December (when she returns to the U.S. from Britain). Though the band is designed to limit food intake by squeezing down the stomach's capacity, she packed on 15 pounds this year, she says, "from overeating."
"I keep trying to eat more and more ... I'm a pig," says Osbourne, who has indulged in "chocolate, French fries and junk food" instead of sticking to the nutritious diet required of gastric-band patients.
What happens when she eats too much? "You throw up...then you eat more," she says.
Osbourne, who starred with her bizarre-yet-loving clan in MTV's "The Osbournes," is being cheered on by her three children: Aimee, 23, Kelly, 21, and Jack, 20.
"My kids, their whole life, have seen me struggle with weight," she says. "They say, `Now you need to spend time on your head.''