Martha, go to jail. Now.

I know you plan to appeal your case, but I appeal to you. Get it over with.

Put down the designer suit, and put on the jumpsuit. Frankly, I don't think you deserve it, but suck it up and deal with it.

Five months in the slammer ain't bad. And 5 months in any one of your fancy homes ain't exactly Abu-Ghraib.

You might win on appeal and curse the day you served. But I'm a half-full glass guy, Martha.

And take this from a humble best-selling author, you've got a bestseller book here. You could even start writing it while you're in the slammer.

You feel right to be wronged. I say get prepared to be tacky.

Five months, Martha. You could put up with macaroni and cheese and cheap silverware for 5 months.

Besides, you start now, you'll be out by Christmas. Maybe not much time to shop, but plenty of time to throw one hell of a party.

Watch Neil Cavuto weekdays at 4 p.m. ET on "Your World with Cavuto."

Neil Cavuto serves as senior vice president, anchor and managing editor for both FOX News Channel (FNC) and FOX Business Network (FBN). He is anchor of FNC's Your World with Cavuto - the number one rated cable news program for the 4 p.m. timeslot - as well as the FNC Saturday show Cavuto on Business. He also hosts Cavuto on FBN weeknights at 8 p.m. In addition to anchoring daily programs and breaking news specials on FNC and FBN, Cavuto oversees business news content for both networks and FNC's weekend business shows, including Bulls & Bears, Forbes on Fox, and Cashin' In. Click here for more on Neil Cavuto.