Spider-Man, Ozzy Osbourne and Woody Allen

Spider-Man's ending, Ozzy Osbourne and Woody Allen in the Foxlight.

OK, Spider-Man broke all the records. It is good. But now that almost everyone on the planet has seen it, let me ask a question. How come he can't get the girl? Did that make any sense to anyone? Tobey's little speech to Kirsten on why they have to just be friends. Huh? Why? You're Spider-Man baby.

Also, how did that one gaffe get into the film. You know the one I mean? About the painted kitchen? Two scenes later it's back to it's original color. I'll bet they got that right in the comic book.

Next, all hail the new King of All Media: The Wizard of Osbourne. He was the bleepin' toast of the Washington Correspondent's Dinner. Even if he did think the Washington Hilton was the White House. And not to give us a blatant plug but he was sitting at The Fox News table. You know you've arrived when both the President and Drew Carey make fun of you. The question now: How long can Ozzy stay at the party? MTV hopes at least another year. Critics aren't so sure.

Finally, is Hollywood Endings on video yet? It might have made more in rentals than it did in theaters over the weekend. Yeah, Woody, Spider-Man stole most of your audience.