Odd News

Witches toil, spell trouble for Trump

Vowing to retry spell until it works

 

Perhaps the forces that ultimately stymied President Trump’s health care overhaul were less political and more…supernatural.

After one of their spells worked just days ahead of the American Health Care Act's defeat, a group of self-proclaimed witches are set to cast another “binding spell” on Sunday night in an effort to kick Trump out of office, according to the official “Bind Trump” Facebook page. The group plans to perform the spell against “Trump and All Those Who Abet Him” at midnight “on every waning crescent moon.”

Some components of the spell include a small “unflattering” photo of Trump, a Tower tarot card – ostensibly to represent Trump Tower – and a “tiny stub of an orange candle” or a “baby carrot.”

“I call upon you to bind Donald J. Trump so that his malignant works may fail utterly, that he may do not harm to any human soul, not any tree, animal, rock, stream or sea,” a sentence of the spell says.

At the end, a grounding exercise is recommended, including “a good, hearty laugh” because “remember – he hates people laughing at him.”

A variant of the spell suggests using one of Trump’s most famous catchphrases against him.

“In place of ‘So mote it be,’ instead say, ‘You’re fired!’ with increasing vehemence,” the Facebook instructions say. “This should be particularly beautiful as the flames consume his image.”

Science says the spell is a lot of hocus pocus. But anecdotal evidence might keep the cacklers casting.

One of the “witches” wrote on the Facebook page that she performed her own spell on March 20 “to save” ObamaCare.

Four days later, Republican leadership pulled its replacement bill prior to a House vote, effectively leaving ObamaCare in place.