FBI Director James Comey was summoned to Capitol Hill on Thursday to explain why orange will not be Hillary Clinton's new black.
House Republicans grilled the FBI director for hours over his recommendation not to press charges against Bill Clinton's wife.
The FBI determined she was extremely careless, but not criminal in her handling of confidential and classified emails. They said it was not her intent to break the law and put the entire nation in grave danger.
Be sure to use that defense the next time you get pulled over in Hog Jaw, Arkansas for running that red light. Let me know how that turns out for you.
We the People are held to a much different standard than high-falootin’ folks like Hillary Clinton. And this sordid email affair illustrates that Lady Justice is not only blind, but she's also deaf and dumb.
There was a lot of political showmanship on Capitol Hill and to be honest I doubt much will come of Thursday's proceedings. However, there were several moments of enlightenment.
For example, Director Comey admitted that some of Mrs. Clinton's public comments about her emails were not true. In other words, she lied. She flat-out told some whoppers.
On the claim she never emailed classified material?
"That's not true," Comey replied. "There was classified material emailed."
How about that claim that she only used one device?
"She used multiple devices," Comey told lawmakers.
And it turns out she lied about turning over all work-related emails.
"We found work-related emails, thousands that were not returned," he said.
Bless her heart, but that woman wouldn't know the truth if it was a pant suit on the 50 percent-off rack at TJ Maxx.
“It’s apparent that she lied to the American people,” Rep. Mark Meadows, R-N.C., later said of Clinton.
But the jaw-dropping revelation of the hearing involved Mrs. Clinton's sophistication level (and they weren't talking about her impressive collection of pant suits).
The FBI director said she may not have been “sophisticated enough” to understand the classified markings on her emails.
"I think it's possible, possible that she didn't understand what a (c) meant when she saw it in the body of an email like that," Comey told bewildered Republican lawmakers.
What did she think the (c) meant? Cheetos? Cauliflower? Or perhaps she thought the State Department monogramed all of her documents?
I mean - you would have to be as dumb as a door knob to not know something like that, right?
Is that what the FBI director was trying to tell us -- that the presumptive nominee for the Democratic Party has the intelligence level of yard mulch.
Sweet mercy, America!
Todd Starnes is host of Fox News & Commentary. His latest book is “The Deplorables’ Guide to Making America Great Again.” Follow him on Twitter @ToddStarnes and find him on Facebook.