• You know when I was a kid; I wanted to be an astronaut in the worst way.

    Then my parents took me to Cape Kennedy, and it hit me.

    I discovered I was too fat to fit in the capsule.

    Onto another career.

    Sometimes life is that way.

    An anvil drops on your head or in my case, an incredibly small command module.

    No matter, I embraced who I was, not what I thought I could be.

    It was like in high school.

    I know this might shock you now…but I was a nerd back then.

    But worse, a hideous nerd.

    Fat, pimply, pathetic.

    Other nerds hung around with me, just to look good by comparison.

    It's true.

    ..Which could explain why so many girls turned me down for so many dances.

    But enough about me…back to me.

    Eventually, I turned my biggest detraction into my keenest selling point.

    My big, fat "asset," I made an asset, if you will.

    Three words. Here's what I’d tell..."the ladies":

    Built. For. Comfort.

    Mitt Romney, you watching?

    Because you have a hard time embracing something that I think is a selling point if you handle it right.

    You're rich.

    I say...Embrace it.

    Don't feel embarrassed about that 10,000 dollar bet thing.

    Brag about the fact, you've got 10,000 bucks "to" bet.

    More Romney campaigning

    You’re where you are today because you're a successful businessman.

    You should be ok with that.

    And ok with this:

    You will never be the everyday common man.

    Unless that common man has multiple homes, views to die for, and an endowment that would make third world countries line up at your dock for dollars.

    We don't mind rich people.

    What we do mind is rich people pretending not to be rich people.

    Then it gets awkward.

    Think George Bush, senior, marveling at a cash register scanner.

    Or…young Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer hiding that nose.

    Eventually the world catches on that you may be a tad out of it…

    But like Rudolph, still a heck of a great reindeer, actually, in the end, a "better" reindeer "because" of it!

    So take it from someone who wanted to be an astronaut but couldn't fit in the ship.