Earlier, the New York Health Department created a list of activities they deemed too risky for kids. If a day camp has one of them, then they would require state regulation.

Now, these officials have since backed down on the plan, probably after hearing I was going to do a Greg-alogue on it. It's great to be powerful

Still, on their list of evil games -- freeze tag, kickball, dodge ball and wiffle ball.

Yep, wiffle ball. Which makes sense. Let's not forget that this so-called "game" was named after the strikeout term "whiff" which suggests not hitting a ball is bad.

But really, isn't hitting a ball with a bat -- plastic or not -- a gateway drug for hitting other things? Like poor people?

Good riddance I say.

Also harmful? Capture the flag. The title alone implying the seizure of things, which goes against our modern culture of fairness.

I mean, shouldn't we all have flags? Perhaps it should be called Share the Flag. Or better, replace the flag with affirmations! After all, flags are patriotic symbols of exceptionalism. Plus, you can't recycle them. And that hurts the planet.

Anyway, the department basically condemned any game where a brat might trip. Better to keep them in a padded closet, attached to an IV of apple sauce. It's what I do for my houseboys and you don't see them complaining (mainly because they're unconscious).

But this is government bureaucracy defined; it only survives by expanding its own meddling influence. Meaning only someone who has absolutely nothing to do all day could come up with a list like that.

Fact is, a government worker sees human activity only as an opportunity for more intrusion. They prefer to enforce, not engage. The reason? They were the last person picked for everything.

And if you disagree with me, you sir are worse than Hitler.

-- Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com