Gutfeld: Welcome to Baja Arizona
Written by Greg Gutfeld / Published May 11, 2011 / Red Eye
So some southern Arizona lefties have launched a petition to split the state, creating a new liberal paradise called Baja Arizona.
Now this is not a new idea, but it's still a great one, if not for a state, perhaps for a game show. Pit two groups of people with opposing views against each other and see who wins?
Arizona is perfect in that it contains the most liberal and conservative folks in the Union. You can spot the libs by the turquoise and the righties by their guns.
In Arizona, even their guns have guns. And those guns? They carry tiny knives (made of guns)!
And these groups hate each other. The left calls the right bigots and the right sees the left as patchouli-drenched socialists, which of course, they are.
I kid. Patchouli is so over.
But a contest between ideologies seems ripe. True, it's been done -- see communism vs. capitalism, East vs. West Germany, Rocky vs. Drago, and of course Quisp vs. Quake.
But why not try it here without government intrusion? This way, we can see whose ideas work, while keeping folks who hate those ideas from benefiting from them.
Because that's what keeps bad ideas alive. See Michael Moore -- a pacifist who condemns the killing of bin Laden while still benefiting from the killing of bin Laden.
Likewise, in Baja, people won't benefit from the low taxes found in the rest of Arizona. And conversely, citizens of Arizona won't benefit from the great hummus found in Baja's street fairs. And if Baja's streets are cleaner from the higher taxes, cool. The rest of Arizona will have more cash for beer.
At the end of year five, the citizens can assess the progress and decide where they want to live.
Either way, it will still be hot. But it's a dry heat.
And if you disagree with me then you sir, are worse than Hitler.
-- Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: email@example.com