Gutfeld: Breitbart Vindicates Himself, Weiner Implodes

Written by Greg Gutfeld / Published June 7, 2011 / Red Eye

So the perfect narrative for any movie is "David vs. Goliath."

The whistleblower vs. the evil corporation.

The tough reporter vs. the corrupt politician.

The half-naked talk show host vs. a team of rambunctious houseboys.

But for the narrative to be accepted, David must be liberal, and Goliath an evil Republican.

So when these roles are reversed in real life, it confuses the crap out of the mainstream media.

Andrew Breitbart was accused of trying to destroy a congressman, of fabricating a scandal, of hacking social networks. These accusations were pushed by the left and a carnal congressman.

So when Breitbart took the stage at Anthony Weiner's presser, it may have been one of the greatest "speaking truth to power" moments I've seen. Breitbart vindicated himself and Weiner imploded.

As I tweeted earlier, if Breitbart were a leftist, Sean Penn would die to play him. But since he's not, I guess it'll probably be Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Because this battle doesn't fit one's assumptions, so just ignore it or mock it.

Right Stephen?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP FROM "THE COLBERT REPORT"/COMEDY CENTRAL, JUNE 6)

STEPHEN COLBERT, HOST: Breitbart was gracious in victory.

ANDREW BREITBART, BLOGGER: It is news, my friend. It is news.

I'm here for some vindication.

COLBERT: You got it, Andy! I think it is time to admit not only is this a valuable member of the press, I would go so far as to say this is the Edward R. Murrow of congressional wang photos.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Yep, I'm sure if Andrew Breitbart were Michael Moore and Weiner were Boehner, Colbert would have felt the same way, right?

And, as Jon Stewart says about Weiner, "We sometimes forget these people are human."

Remember him saying the same thing about Palin, Cheney and Bush?

No?

But we're missing the big picture. Weiner was a hairless, sculpted cat. He spent a lot of time not on his constituents, but on himself. As Politico points out, Weiner has "no major legislation to his name, and no... fondness for filling... potholes."

When not waxing his scrotum, he waxed on Facebook, as this re-enactment by "Red Eye" robots reveals.

Impeccable acting.

In sum, Weiner was a phallus attached to a politician -- driven to pump iron, pluck hair and pester women.

But in my mind, if his perversions keep him from his progressive politics, maybe that's not so bad.

And if you disagree with me, I was hacked.

-- Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

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