Gene Simmons describes his latest book, "Me, Inc.," as a Cliff's Notes for how to live your life, including common sense advice on how to succeed in marriage, careers, and parenting.

FOX411: So why did you write this book?

Gene Simmons: The book is really a culmination of my journey in America. When I came to America (from Israel) I was an 8 1/2 year old boy. I couldn't speak a word of English and one of the first life lessons I learned and it was a good one because life is a hard taskmaster, was being asked: 'What are you stupid? Can't you speak English?' 

By the way the same rules still apply. Political correctness isn't your best friend. It's your worst enemy. So my journey was self-education. It was my inferred fiduciary duty to learn English skills. You don't have to speak English but unless you want to go back to the chaos that was the Tower of Babel you better pick one language that the power elite speaks.

Also the point of my book is if Siri doesn't understand what you're saying, you're in trouble even if you speak English. I didn't invent these rules, people don't want to hear it. But when I first came here and heard, 'What are you stupid? You can't speak English,' it was a good life lesson. I realized it was my responsibility to learn how to speak English better than native born sons and daughters. 

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FOX411: You also offer marital advice.

Simmons: Women should not marry young men because they don't have money yet and they can't support you. The first thing you need is money. The smart move if you are going to have a child, have one, it's viable. If you're a man, why not wait till your mid-30's or 40's to get married? Women who are young and see a young, good looking man think they see a man but really he's a 14-year-old horny boy. He's young, dumb and full of c*m. He can't understand what you're saying.

FOX411: And you're no fan of the welfare system.

Simmons: You want money from the government? Clean up the graffiti in your neighborhood and then it's not charity. You earned it, it's your job. You want to have five kids because you get support from the government? That stops right away. You're the crime watchers in your neighborhood. If you see a criminal exchange in your neighborhood it's your job to call the cops. Create pride in the money that people get. 

FOX411: How did you teach your kids the value of things?

Simmons: Partnership is really important. I met the girl of my dreams, Shannon Tweed, so one and one are three. She had the moral fiber and backbone to teach ethics to the kids. Both of them did not get allowances, which is the worst thing you can do for your kids. If they get money they have to do something in order to earn it.

It helps to get the best partner in the world. My wife Shannon Tweed is right in front of me and she's opening up my allotment of pills today so that I don't shit in my diapers. Partners are important. Life is like being a football team. You're only as good as the people you associate yourself with. If you pass the ball to your fellow mate and they're either too drunk or stoned to catch it, the entire team is doomed.

FOX411: You've never been drunk in your life.

Simmons: Becoming a drug addict or alcoholic is very expensive, forget about the health risks. I'm not your mommy shaking my finger in front of you. I'm just saying these decisions will cost you a lot of money. Every day above ground will either cost you money or make you money and you are your own limited liability corporation if you will. You have to make much more money than you spend. You have to have a long range plan. Life is like carbs. They taste so good and it's so easy to take in, like money is so easy to spend, but you're going to become one fat bastard before you know it unless you control yourself.

FOX411: What's the most important thing?

Simmons: You've got to look in the mirror. It begins and ends there. It's what you put into it. You've got to roll up your sleeves and not let yourself get away with anything. Don't have lots of kids, don't buy homes, don't buy things if you can't afford them. It's so simple.