Here's what's happening, everybody:
Paris Hilton — everyone's favorite Carl's Jr. hamburger spokeswoman — posed for a steamy new photoshoot in nothing but lingerie and thigh-high boots (one pic is below; ). But she didn't even have a hamburger to promote! How will we know which hamburgers to eat, Paris?!?
Just when you thought you'd seen everything the breakfast table had to offer, NYC restaurant Compagnie de Vins Surnaturels proves there's yet another way to cook an egg. Check out the video above to see how they make their Toad in a Hole recipe, which truly looks a whole lot better than the name implies.
On Wednesday's episode of the "Today" show, Jessica Simpson told Matt Lauer that she's planning to change her surname (Simpson) to the equally bland surname of her new husband (Johnson).
On Wednesday, Hilary Duff wore a see-through sweater-dress (below) to a party in honor of her new music video for "All About You." But if you actually take the time to watch "All About You," you'll see that it's all about her. Specifically, her in a pair of Daisy Dukes, boot-scootin' with her girlfriends.
While discussing her new lingerie line in London, Britney Spears announced her intentions to send Kate Middleton her entire collection, saying, "I would love to see Kate in my underwear designs." And frankly, that's probably the only way we'd want to see Britney's underwear designs, too.
During the Clinton Global Initiative Meeting on Tuesday, Matt Damon did a pretty impressive impression of Bill Clinton (below) while speaking on the importance of clean water programs, and he didn't even resort to a hackneyed line about "not having sexual relations with that woman."
George Clooney's fiancee Amal Alamuddin will reportedly use the same wedding dress designer as Kate Middleton. It's still unknown, however, if Amal plans to let her sister "pull a Pippa" and upstage the bride in a similarly gorgeous, yet much more fitted dress.
Despite giving birth just over one month ago, Stacy Keibler was photographed on Tuesday evening looking just as skinny as ever, probably because she bought those hot-pants a year ago, and gosh darnit, she's going to wear them!
After scoring a difficult goal during a novelty hockey challenge at a Chicago Blackhawks game, Oscar-winner Cuba Gooding Jr. ripped open his shirt and paraded around the ice bare-chested. It's just too bad he made the shot on his third attempt, because you just know he would've ditched the pants if he scored on the first try.
Though she reportedly "remained charming throughout," Lindsay Lohan allegedly forgot her lines during her debut performance in the London production of "Speed-the-Plow." Keep in mind, however, that this was the best outcome anyone could have possibly hoped for.
NBC released another photo from their upcoming "Peter Pan Live!" television event. This time, they're showing off Christopher Walken in his full Captain Hook costume, though you wouldn't be faulted for wondering why Alison Williams was standing next to a life-sized wax figure of Christopher Walken in drag.
— Neil Meron (@neilmeron) September 24, 2014
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West took their 1-year-old daughter to a show at Paris Fashion Week on Wednesday night. So either they're trying to wean North on high fashion, or they couldn't find a babysitter who was up to Kanye's snuff (i.e., someone with a Mensa membership card).
And finally, comedian Kathy Griffin is rumored to be replacing Joan Rivers on "Fashion Police" when it returns to television in January. But hopefully by then, technology will have advanced to the point where we can bring Joan back through the magic of hologram, like Tupac or Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez.