Here's what everybody's carrying on about:
At Monday evening's Costume Institute Gala held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Kate Upton wore a frilly, see-through dress that valiantly struggled to provide adequate coverage.
According to Taylor Swift, her cat Meredith "attacked" her custom Oscar de la Renta gown prior to the Costume Institute Gala, so naturally, Swift stayed home and missed out on all the fun attended in what appeared to be a picture-perfect gown, because of course she did.
Speaking of Swift, she's also taken to eating like an 18th century prisoner, feasting on nothing but bread and water during a dinner with her supermodel friends in New York City.
And here's one last Swift story, we promise: Despite reports to the contrary, Selena Gomez can't possibly think Taylor Swift is that boring, or at least not boring enough to stop her from frolicking with Swift at the Met gala and uploading the video to Instagram:
Jessica Simpson came close to exposing herself at the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday. She didn't, but we're talking about it anyway, which means that Jessica Simpson is getting exactly what she wants: all the media attention of an actual wardrobe malfunction with none of the goosebumps.
Assuming you've forgotten that Kim Kardashian has a sex tape where you can see her completely nude, you might be interested in seeing these pictures of her from Monday's Met gala where her underwear is showing.
Hayden Panettiere and her huge Ukrainian boxer fiance have put their wedding on hold because of "everything that's happening in Ukraine."
"America Idol" winner Scotty McCreery was the victim of armed robbery on Monday morning, but fortunately, his sweet baritone voice escaped unharmed.
Cressida Bonas has been granted "compassionate leave" from work following her breakup with Prince Harry. Wait, that's a thing?
Jennifer Lopez will be the fourth artist (and first woman) to receive the Billboard Icon Award. Billboard has also invited Lopez to perform a new song alongside Pitbull, despite Billboard being well aware that we'd rather see Ja Rule crawl out of whatever cave he's been living in to join Lopez for "I'm Real."
Emma Stone, most recently of "The Amazing Spider-Man 2," told Seventeen magazine that "keeping weight on" is a struggle for her. But lest you want to rip her face off for saying that, Stone is fully aware that her genes will change as she ages.
Lady Gaga basically went topless during the first concert of her ARTPOP Ball tour, making a wardrobe change in full view of the audience.
Maitland Ward, who you probably don't remember from "Boy Meets World" but probably do remember from that ridiculously racy dress she wore to the premiere of "A Haunted House 2" in April, tried to prolong her relevancy by donning Princess Leia's slave costume in honor of "Star Wars" Day.
Adele hinted that she might be titling her next album "25," but really, since she's named every other album after the age she was when she recorded it, we should've seen this coming.
On "The Voice," Blake Shelton noted that Adam Levine's new blond hair makes him look like Meg Ryan, and he's not really wrong.
And finally, a bakery in Philadelphia is getting a lot of attention for their new doughnut/cannoli hybrid. They're calling it the donnoli, despite every Italian bakery in the world already calling it a zeppole.