With daughters like these, who needs enemies? Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis Stewart, airs her mother's dirty laundry in her new book, "Whateverland: Learning to Live Here," set to hit stores Oct. 18 -- including the fact that her domestic diva mom urinates with the door open.
"Mother always peed with the door open. I remember saying, 'You know, now I have friends over! You can't do that anymore! It's gotta stop! My friends' parents don't do it! Give me a break here! I don't feel like being embarrassed! It's exhausting! I'm a kid! Stop!'" Alexis, 46, says in the book, according to ABC News.
And despite her reputation as a domestic doyenne, Alexis says her mother didn't cook, didn't greet trick-or-treaters and didn't even wrap Christmas presents for her daughter. "Martha was not interested in being kid-friendly," she writes. "She would hand me things right before Christmas and say, 'Now wrap these but don't look inside." Here are a few more less-than-flattering excerpts from the book:
--"Halloween was also a grim affair: There were no costumes. There was no anything. We turned off all the lights and pretended we weren't home."
--"There was never anything to eat at my house. Other people had food. I had no food . . . There were ingredients but no prepared food of any kind."
--"Martha does everything better! You can't win! If I didn't do something perfectly, I had to do it again. . . . I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head."
--"My mother will occasionally complain that I don't invite her over for dinner. But can you blame me? Because, sometimes this is what will happen: Whatever I serve, she'll sip it, taste it, make a face and push it away."
The anecdotes seem to seal Stewart's reputation as a cold businesswoman, but there's nothing terribly shocking, until you get to this nugget: "A woman lived near us when I was little, had married someone very wealthy and very unattractive, and my mother actually told me when I was a small child, 'Now Alexis, if this ever happens, you make sure you have sex with somebody else to have their baby. Don't have his baby.'"
But despite seriously damaging her mother's already shaky reputation, Alexis says she'll defend her family against any critics. "I am, like, fisticuffs, you know, I'm ready," she writes. And she even dedicates her book to her mom: "Thanks in advance to my mother for not getting angry about anything written in this book."
From Alexis Stewart to Ashley Judd to Mackenzie Phillips, let us know: Who wrote the juiciest celebrity memoir?