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Nancy Pelosi pushes away from impeaching President Trump
Published March 11, 2019
This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 11, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Dagen McDowell, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."
President Trump kicking of a new showdown with Congress today by releasing his fiscal 2020 budget plan and requesting over $8 billion more in border wall funding. White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders earlier, today, addressing the president's national security approach to securing the border.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SARAH SANDERS, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: He's doing his job. He's doing what Congress should be doing. He took an oath of office, and he has a constitutional duty to protect the people of this country. We have a humanitarian and national security crisis at our border, and the president is doing his job in addressing it.
He gave Congress a number of opportunities to actually address it and they failed to do so. So the president is taking his constitutional authority that Congress granted him. Let's not forget the only reason he has authority to call a national emergency is because Congress gave them the right to do so.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Sanders also addressing a question of whether or not Mexico will be paying for the wall.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is there anything in the president's 2020 budget request that has Mexico paying for the wall.
SANDERS: As the president has stated a number of times, through the U.S. MCA trade deal that we look forward to getting past soon, that will be part of how that takes place.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer offering a joint statement saying Trump's call for the additional border wall funding will be dead on arrival. The president tweeting today, the Republican have a, quote, very easy vote this week, regarding his national security declaration, and telling them to, quote, get tough. OK. So, Greg, a budget takes months to prepare --
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Yes.
PERINO: -- and two minutes to say it's dead on arrival.
GUTFELD: Yeah. This is -- we've been through this for decades. It's not Trumpian. It's a Republican-Democratic dance. What does Republican do? You cut government programs, you increased military spending, and then the Democrats say it's dead. But I have -- can I bring up the Greg theory?
PERINO: Yeah.
GUTFELD: OK. I've said this for -- the budget adds 1.1 trillion this year and then 1 trillion for the next three years, it's $4.1 trillion to the deficit. So it's adding 4 -- I'm sorry, it's adding 4.1 trillion to the debt, that's 1.1 trillion per year deficit.
PERINO: OK.
GUTFELD: But do I do that correctly?
PERINO: Dagen?
DAGEN MCDOWELL, GUEST CO-HOST: Yeah.
GUTFELD: OK. So if the government collects $3.7 trillion in taxes on average this year, why don't we just make the deal that we don't collect any taxes, right? We all get to keep our entire paychecks for a year and we pledge that we won't spend any more money than we can for four years.
JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: Greg for president everybody.
GUTFELD: How about -- I mean, the fact --
PERINO: Wait, what does that mean? We can spend --
GUTFELD: We'll only be 3.7 trillion in debt instead of 4.1 trillion.
WATTERS: I think you just won Iowa.
GUTFELD: Thank you. Because -- I mean, if we don't care --
PERINO: Onto New Hampshire.
GUTFELD: -- if we don't care about the debt or the deficit, then let's not pay taxes for a year. And then we promised to keep -- we won't spend any - - we won't have any spending increases for four years.
PERINO: Dagen, how do the markets --
GUTFELD: I'm trying to make this interesting you guys. This is boring stuff.
PERINO: I have some good stuff coming up, but how did that markets react? No big deal?
MCDOWELL: No big deal because this is not going anywhere. But, again, this is the big problem with this budget and politics in general. Nobody cares that the debt is going up. Democrats now are trying to make an issue out of it, which is just horse hooey that they're trying to talk about the -- wringing their hands and getting their trousers in a twist over the debt and the deficit. But the Republicans don't care about it either --
PERINO: Some economists are saying it's not -- they're not as worried about it --
MCDOWELL: -- said that. He said if you can borrow at these low, low, low, low, low rates and then we can invest it and make a better return on it, which just seems -- makes my head spin. Because, again, the day -- the days is going to come where we can't borrow at less than 2.7 percent a year over ten years. We might wake up one morning and it's 4 percent or 5 percent.
By the way, the interest on the national debt is going to top what we spend on defense spending in just a few years.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: Juan, did you love budget day or hate budget day when you work at the Washington Post?
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: I hate it because it could get complex. And the numbers -- you've got to add up the numbers, and then someone always complains about the way you added the numbers. They view the numbers --
PERINO: I used to avoid budget day at all cost.
WILLIAMS: Yes. It's craziness. And people take it quite seriously, even though, as you guys rightly say, it's dead on arrival. It is seen as a statement of the president's priorities.
PERINO: Yeah.
WILLIAMS: And it is definitely a political document in terms of what it says to his followers, which is why I disagree with you, Dagen. I think when Democrats complain about deficits now, it's not so much to say, oh, you know, you guys -- you drove up your own deficits in your time, and therefore your complaints are -- what do you say? House pop or something?
MCDOWELL: That's me to not curse.
WILLIAMS: Yes, OK. But I think that the irony here is that Republicans have a long legacy of saying deficits matter. And so, suddenly now, with this president and with the -- oh, you know what -- we didn't say that. We didn't mean it.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: Jesse, do you?
WATTERS: I'm about to say something I never thought I'd say. Juan's right. Republicans don't care about budget deficits. They don't care about the debt anymore. Both parties don't care about it. It's just a merry-go-round of insanity. This is dead on arrival, as everybody says. This is just his wish list.
But I like the priority to put that much money for the border wall. And if he had stuck with the $20 or $25 billion big ask that he had at the beginning, he would have been able to negotiate for a more of a position of strength, the art of the deal. Why am I telling the president about the art of the deal?
PERINO: I don't know.
WATTERS: Go big or go low.
PERINO: OK. So I have another layer to this which I think you're going to like more to talk about.
GUTFELD: Oh, great.
PERINO: It's about impeachment or not impeachment, according to Nancy Pelosi. So she just did an interview today in which she said this, I'm not for impeachment. This is news. I'm going to give you some news right now, because I haven't said this to any press person before.
But since you asked and I've been thinking about this, impeachment is so divisive to the country that unless there's something so compelling and overwhelming and bipartisan, I don't think we should go down that path because it divides the country, and he's just not worth it. So setting aside that last dig on he's not just worth it, no impeachment?
GUTFELD: Well --
PERINO: It's about that.
GUTFELD: She's a smart cookie if I can still say that in this era. She knows impeachment will do three things. It will bring up the best in Trump because he seems to rebound for antagonist --
PERINO: Likes to fight.
GUTFELD: Yeah, he likes to fight. Two, it will generate sympathy and anger and turn him into a folk hero, which is why he might even like the impeachment process because look what it did to Bill Clinton. Three, it handicaps the Dems because they spreads themselves too thin.
They should be trying to win instead of trying to impeach. They've got two years to figure this thing out and she's saying, look, you know, you try to win an election, stop chasing this guy.
PERINO: Yeah. Juan, you think she's trying to send a message to the rank and file that we're going to focus on governing until we have -- she said if it was compelling, overwhelming, and bipartisan, then we would do it.
WILLIAMS: Right. But I think that what she's saying is, in fact, Dana, a lot of the requests for, for example, material information from the White House, a lot of the continuing investigations that are going on, she's saying let's put our money on that as part of the 2020 effort because, basically, what you're going to see is there're going to say, hey, this is still a problem for President Trump. Why put ourselves in the way of President Trump's arrows in terms of saying impeachment. These people just -- are trying to undo the 2016 election.
PERINO: What do you think? She's trying to help the Democrats, Jesse?
WATTERS: It helps the Democrats and it helps the country. And rarely do those things coexist equally because it will divide the country if it's not an overwhelming high crime and misdemeanor. And if the Democrats overreach and impeach on something as partisan as, you know, his taxes or something like that, or Stormy Daniels, you're going to see huge backlash. And she's not going to have a gavel for that long.
I'm not saying she's old. She's seasoned. She's seen this before.
PERINO: She's wise.
WATTERS: She's very wise. You can have these house things flip in a heartbeat on war, on corruption, and on overreach. And remember, it's the last time the Democrats overreached on Obamacare, they lost the House --
PERINO: I remember that. Dagen, last word?
MCDOWELL: This is why the Democrats took the House back because she sent this message out to them long before people went to the polls in November. If you go back and look at the messaging, she said cut it with the impeachment talk. And then she can let Jerry Nadler and Adam Schiff and do whatever they want to about document requests and calling --
(CROSSTALK) PERINO: Try to focus on governing.
MCDOWELL: -- they would not be uttering that word.
PERINO: All right, well, we'll see what happens. OK, up next, watch this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You get labeled as a socialist.
SEN. ELIZABETH WARREN (D), MASSACHUSETTS: Well, it's just wrong.
(END VIDEO CLIP) PERINO: Elizabeth Warren pulls back from the Dem progressive movement, but will it backfire? We'll explain next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: It was the it place to be for Democrats this weekend, 2020 contenders along with the parties most popular newcomers, all flocking to the south by southwest festival in Austin, Texas. While there, they were pushing progressive ideology and also taking shots at each other.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)
REP. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ, D-N.Y.: This idea of like 10 percent better from garbage is -- shouldn't be what we settle for.
SEN. ELIZABETH WARREN, D-MASS.: Bernie has to speak to what Democratic socialism is.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You are not one.
WARREN: I'm not. Break those things apart and we will have a more competitive, robust market in America. That's how capitalism should work.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Let's call it American capitalism for lack of a better word. It's not providing middle-class people and poor people the security or the opportunity that it used to.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I believe that we need to ask a lot more of people at the top in this country.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have to make defeating climate change the number one priority of the United States.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: When I see the corrosive divide, and instead of trying to find ways to bring us together in times of crisis, he finds ways to bring us apart. This is Donald Trump.
(END VIDEO CLIPS)
WILLIAMS: You heard Elizabeth Warren there trying to separate herself from the growing support in the Democratic Party for socialist ideas. That may be the wrong move. A new poll finds that young voters are actually embracing the socialism agenda. And as for Bernie Sanders, well, he was a no-show. Instead, choosing to campaign in Iowa this weekend where he and potential 2020 contender Joe Biden are currently in the lead in the latest polling.
Jesse, I think you're the youngest person at the table.
GUTFELD: (clears throat)
WILLIAMS: Oh, sorry.
(LAUGHTER)
WATTERS: Maybe youngest at heart.
PERINO: Didn't say shortest, he said youngest.
WILLIAMS: All right. So here we have, you know, Generation Z, and Generation Z for the viewers is people who are aged 3 to 23, Millennials 24 to 38. And here's what interesting to them, for Generation Z, the youngest people, mass shootings, racial equality, immigration. For Millennials, health care, global warming, and mass shootings. How do you fit into this?
WATTERS: Well, I don't fit into it because I'm Generation X. I don't even know what we stand for. Does anybody know what we stand for?
WILLIAMS: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Generation X, again, for the viewers, 39 to 53, and you care about health care, terrorism, national security, and, you're going to like this, Dagen, the debt.
WATTERS: OK. Well, count me out of the debt then. But I definitely care about national security and health care. I don't know why these people don't understand what capitalism is and the difference between capitalism and socialism. I just have to maybe get back up out on the street and start educating them like I used too. It's probably because I've left the street. People don't understand what south by southwest is. It's like a capitalism orgy.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: You have people and companies flying in from all over the world, driving-in in their gas guzzling cars to exchange ideas, to sell music, to sell products, to sell technology, and then everybody is coming there to bash capitalism? It doesn't make much sense to me. I remember interviewing a young woman who was there and she was dressed up as Little Bo Peep. And she had a pacifier and her face was painted and she had pink hair. And I've said what do you think about Trump? And she goes I think Trump is crazy.
And I'm looking at her and she's dressed up like this and I think, you think Trump is crazy and you look like that? That's why the irony is lost on these people. The Democrats are so smart, they think, that they're not self-aware to go and to bash capitalism in a place like this, I really don't understand it. One of the reasons Sanders -- excuse me, Elizabeth Warren is trying to distance herself from socialism, her negatives are at a 20 percent right now, unfavorable rating.
PERINO: Yeah --
WATTERS: People really don't like her very much.
PERINO: But Sanders is doing so much better than her in the polls and he is talking about socialism.
WATTERS: That's true. And you know what's also interesting, from this color-coded chart, Dana.
PERINO: I was very impress.
WATTERS: That 30 percent to 50 percent have no idea or have no opinion of Warren, Kamala Harris, Beto O'Rourke, or Cory Booker. These people are undefined.
PERINO: It's early yet.
WILLIAMS: All right. So, Dana, let me just say the Generation Z folks, and again those are 3 to 23 year olds, have a positive view of socialism, don't see that there's any stigma attached to being called a socialist.
PERINO: I think -- I'm wondering -- and I don't know a lot about this because, of course, I never rebelled against my parents. But it's a thing to rebel against your parents, right? So -- like to be -- to say you're socialist and to wear it proudly is like basically poking your parents in the eye. And it's -- when you're 3 to 23, I'm not going to put a lot of stock in that, but I do think that -- they -- when they see conservatives making fun of them for saying socialism is good, it makes them embrace it more. No matter what it means.
WATTERS: So should we stop making fun of them?
PERINO: No, I think what Warren is talking about, she wants a refined and improved capitalism, whatever that means. So I take a look at this piece that was written about her -- Warren put out this big thing about breaking up the tech companies, like, I'm sorry, the government is now here to help? Because one of the things -- so she has this arbitrary number that if a company got to $25 billion valuation, they would have to be broken up.
And then she's complaining about -- the fact that Facebook bought Instagram and that's stifling competition. Like -- is anyone -- does anyone feel stifled about posting on social media? I don't think anyone feel stifled. So, I think that that's where she's headed, but conservatives have got to take this seriously.
WILLIAMS: All right. So, Dagen, 37 percent of the electorate in 2020 will be Generation Z and Millennials. That's a big chunk who are supporters of greater socialism-type policies.
MCDOWELL: And I don't care if you're 18 or 80, you can smell a phony 5 miles away, and that is what Elizabeth Warren's problem is. You see it in those negative -- because she says she's not a socialist or whatever, Democratic socialist. Her wealth program to basically reclaim wealth in this country, confiscate wealth, is as socialist as you are going to get. It didn't even work in France, for God's sakes.
And this is her big idea, other than breaking up the tech companies, which, by the way, is not that out there. There are a lot of people, right or left, who think that they've gotten too big. But to say that you're going to confiscate people's money just because they earned that money and have that money, it's not an income tax. It's not a tax on spending or behavior. It is literally the government going in your bank and taking your money. She's a socialist and she's annoying and that's why her negatives are bad.
WILLIAMS: So, Greg, I give you an opportunity now to attack older white males. Biden and Sanders in the lead in Iowa, Biden, 27 points, Sanders, 25, nobody else is close.
GUTFELD: Together they're over 300 years old. I don't know. You know, I have to say -- OK, number one, socialism is, as I've said, the Freddy Krueger of ideologies, every decade it comes back, kills a bunch of people, and then we forget about it. And because these young people, Generation Z as they're called, are coming from the campus where the cultists, or the professors, refused to expose the evils of their religion which is socialism.
However, we've got to talk about south by southwest because we're letting them off the hook here. How do you know south by southwest is over? When CNN is there. What CNN is doing a trivia contest. That's how you know when you quit pot is when your parents started up.
All right, when your parents are going to south by southwest and doing trivia contest, you're no longer edgy. What would have been edgy is if somebody held a socialist happy hour there. You open up the bar, free bar, but behind there have a live feed of Venezuela of all the looting, the lack of electricity, the power outages. Oh, you can have your free beer, socialist, but this is what you're ideologies are causing. That would have been edgy and unusual in south by southwest. But instead --
WATTERS: You should do a pop-up next season.
GUTFELD: I want to do a pop-up.
PERINO: Why doesn't THE FIVE go next year?
WILLIAMS: That is something.
GUTFELD: It's conspicuous consumption disguise as virtue signaling. And it's like watching your grandparents get high, which is not a bad thing.
(LAUGHTER)
WILLIAMS: Anyway, apologies to Antonio, my son, who led a session at south by southwest.
GUTFELD: He's got to go Marfa. Go to Marfa.
WILLIAMS: All right. (INAUDIBLE) turns dangerous when a woman tries to get in a picture with a jaguar? Yeah, I said a jaguar. Stay with THE FIVE to see this one.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Taking a selfie with a jaguar, the cat, not the car. That's what experts would call a bad idea, right up there with chugging tie pods or sitting behind Brian Stelter at a chili cook off. But in this era where people risk losing an arm for the likes, why the hell not? Over the weekend, a woman jumped a barrier at the Wildlife World Zoo in Arizona, to get a photo of the big cat, which then attacked. The woman's arm was torn open.
The ugliness caught on a cell phone, of course. I watched it six times. She has since apologized to the zoo, saying it was her fault. That's good. The story was viewed by zillions because they're just like me, gross. But in this case, it's a good thing for it reminds people of a few lessons, talking about the video, not the attack.
Although humans are animals, animals are not humans, yet we are fooled by their adorable faces to think they share our qualities that they like us, understand us, and enjoy our taste in turquoise jewelry. Not so. Given the chance that these will tear you to shreds. Don't worry it's not personal.
Two, we care about being liked, or likes. When we see something appealing, we imagine showing it to other people. So rather than enjoying the moment, a sunset, a waterfall, a deadly cat, we must get a better, closer picture. It's sad. People are dying for attention, literally. So here's a rare case where social media can offer lessons that if we were to learn and reality would kill us. Finally, a cat video with a purpose.
So, Dana, I respect a lady because she apologized. I bet she kind of realized if the dog -- the jaguar -- the dog? The jaguar might be in danger.
PERINO: Right, and that's the thing about this which is that we have to have more respect for these animals. Number one, they're already in captivity. They're in captivity so that we can learn about them and be better stewards of them because, as humans, we have dominion over the animals. And so we have to take better care of them.
And the jaguar felt threatened when she got into his cage. So, of course, that was going to happen. I do think that it's good that she went back. She must have been mortified. But if the jaguar had to be put down because of her selfishness of trying to get a selfie in the cage, then, obviously, that would have been something --
WILLIAMS: That's what you meant when you said the jaguar might be in danger.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
PERINO: Right.
GUTFELD: I think it might have happened before too, Juan.. They do say that -- I think selfie-caused deaths are up to 93 in 2017. It was three in 2011. But I bet there's more because -- you know, if you get hit by a car or something and you drop your phone, how do you know?
MCDOWELL: A lot of falling off cliffs, I think.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WILLIAMS: Last week we had a woman hanging off a train.
MCDOWELL: Listen, I -- it takes me like five hours to Photoshop any selfie that I take, number one. I finally figured out how to, like, make my -- you know, give myself some cheekbones and make my thighs look smaller, number one. Number two, I can't go down an escalator without tripping and busting my chin wide open. So I don't understand -- I mean, it's obviously dangerous in more ways than we're even seeing here.
GUTFELD: Juan, we are not enjoying moments. Like we're missing the big picture by trying to get the little picture --
WILLIAMS: So I was in a museum yesterday and they had a whole exhibit of people taking pictures, selfies of themselves, because they say we've never had such easy access to photography in --
GUTFELD: Yes.
WILLIAMS: -- the life of the world -- in the history of the world, right? But to my mind, what this is is all about vainglory. I mean, it's all about you in a certain place and then you post it on Facebook or some other place, and it's really not about illuminating anything. It's just saying I was there. Oh, I was there. I was there. And I didn't just get a t- shirt, I got this lousy picture, and I might have died.
GUTFELD: Yeah. You know what's funny, Jesse, is that -- even though everybody has a camera now, we don't have any more pictures of UFO's. Is that weird?
WATTERS: You think they'll be all over the place.
GUTFELD: Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: I think there's still life out there somewhere. If she'd pulled it off, it would have been an amazing selfie. I do understand what she was going for, a jaguar at a zoo. I mean millions and millions of likes. I get it. But to your point earlier, it's like more important to be on social media than to be in real life. And if you ever see pictures of concerts and instead of people enjoying the concerts, there is hundred thousand with their phones in the air.
WILLIAMS: What is that--
WATTERS: So, it's like - wait a second, you're enjoying the concert, you're paying all this money, so you can watch it later. I think that's what the memory is for.
PERINO: No, and I don't think anyone watches it later either.
WATTERS: Yes, they don't watch it later.
GUTFELD: I never do.
WATTERS: Maybe like maybe on the ride home.
MCDOWELL: You won't enjoy the concert if I'm there. If you put your phone up like that, because I'm smacking it out of your hand.
WILLIAMS: But there is so many people doing that. So many people do it.
WATTERS: I know. And don't tempt fate, Greg.
GUTFELD: Yes. Don't--
WATTERS: Animals are wild.
GUTFELD: Great. They're wild, exactly. I keep thinking I'm building up some kind of bank account with the animals, but maybe not.
WATTERS: No,
GUTFELD: All right.
WATTERS: You first.
GUTFELD: All right. The Covington High School student who faced off with a Native American activist is suing the media again. We'll tell you who and why, next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: I'm sorry.
MCDOWELL: Crazy people. The Covington High School student who was the center of a confrontation with a Native American activist back in January is again going after the media. Fresh off the heels of a lawsuit filed last month against the Washington Post, the high schooler is now planning to sue CNN for more than $250 million. Here's his lawyer.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: CNN was probably more vicious in its direct attacks on Nicholas than The Washington Post. Nicholas Sandmann did absolutely nothing wrong. CNN couldn't resist the idea that here is a guy with a - young boy with Make America Great Again cap on. So, they go after. They're out there right away going after this young boy and they maintain it for at least two days. Why didn't they stop and just take an hour and look through the Internet and find the truth and then reported, maybe do that before you report the lies.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
MCDOWELL: Maybe do that before you report the lies. Greg, did they have a case?
GUTFELD: I don't know if they have a case, but the lawsuit is necessary because CNN is incapable of learning. They repeat the same mistakes which are these divisive efforts to cancel people out. If I were at CNN, if I was Jeff Zucker, I'd sit everybody down. Do you want to be part of this new trend of like basically publicly blacklisting people, ruining their lives, because if no one had put the brakes on this that kid's life would have been ruined? And anybody who happened to be a Trump supporter would be next. I mean consider how this would have turned out if there wasn't other video. CNN never would have taken a breath. They moved on from Covington to Smollett you know and they - even if you go back a few years, their anti- police narrative. They could have learned from that, but they didn't you know.
And so, this banishment craze that they're on and what they could have done to this kid even if the lawsuit is without merit or whatever, maybe able to cause them to sit down and think about it. Just think about, do you want to be part of this mob, this new trend or do you want to actually sit back and think about what you're doing, because it's going to happen to you.
MCDOWELL: Dana, you're shaking your head?
PERINO: I'm nodding, yes. I'm agreeing. The Washington Post was also sued by the same group before by on behalf of the young man and The Washington Post published an editorial - an editor's note I should say that said, we shouldn't have done that. We should have done more reporting. So, they're trying to at least address this so that when it does go in front of the judge and they might say there is no standing here and I don't know I'm with Greg, I don't know how it will turn out in court.
But if they had not filed the lawsuit, nobody would be talking about this.
GUTFELD: Exactly.
PERINO: Lawsuits drive coverage and news and even if they don't get $250 million from CNN or Washington Post or whatever, putting it out there for all of us to talk about is worthwhile.
MCDOWELL: And the money amounts are meant to send a message.
PERINO: Right.
MCDOWELL: To media organizations like your journalists shouldn't be belching bile on social media. Part of the mob, when they don't even know it's true. In the lawsuit that was filed against The Washington Post, Jesse. It says that one of the reporters there who wrote what worked on the story later retweeted that short video which basically told a story that was not true.
WATTERS: Yes, I'm sure Zucker sent out a few memos telling everybody to check themselves on social media or else they're going to cost the company a fortune. I made a few gaffes in my career and CNN you know what they do, they point fingers and they laugh, and they mock. But you know what, at least I'm not responsible for a quarter of a billion-dollar lawsuit by smearing a minor. You know what, you guys are, not me.
Also, CNN is pretty cocky. They're in third place. They - I think half the country thinks they're fake news and now they're facing a multi-million- dollar lawsuit. So, what they've done now and to Greg's point which I think is a great one. They now don't necessarily target popular people, famous people, talented politicians. They go after the little guy.
GUTFELD: The woman that got the Russian bot or whatever.
WATTERS: Yes.
GUTFELD: That she answered it and they cornered her.
WATTERS: They go after anonymous people. They unmask random people. Remember the guy that did the funny video on YouTube of the body slam. They like put out his personal information. They go after minors. That's who they're really going after and that's bullying, and they always call out the bullies. They're the bullies.
MCDOWELL: Are the people over there want so irretrievably stupid that they don't know to take a breath. If you're going to go after a teenager, high school junior not a public figure, but a private figure with something if you don't know the whole story, you're just going to lambast this kid and try and destroy his life. Don't they have one breath of revelation that they shouldn't do that?
WILLIAMS: I just think this is a meritless lawsuit and I think this kid's being used by the right and I don't know who this lawyer is, but it sounds to me like there is a gravy train now. Washington Post, CNN, he's become a hero to people who associate this with any media injustice against the far right and against Trump supporters. But the key for me--
MCDOWELL: I'm sorry, if CNN and all these news organizations did this to me and told a story about me, and basically rain hellfire down on me and my family and all of my buddies in school, my backside would be pretty chapped too to the tune of so far $0.5 billion.
WILLIAMS: No, you wouldn't.
MCDOWELL: Oh! Yes. It would.
WILLIAMS: I'll tell you what. I think if you felt that way Dagen, he would say, I want this over and I want people to know that they were wrong.
GUTFELD: So, you get that Juan.
WILLIAMS: Just give me a second. So, here's the thing. They didn't create this tape, this tape came from some body on the Internet that the government still doesn't know exactly who they are, but they could have been the Russians, whatever. They're tied to Brazil. That's the source of this tape. And then in this social media age when the tape gets out, everybody says, have you seen this tape. And then you get people like CNN and The Washington Post reacting to what--
MCDOWELL: No, they were spreading it. That was my point. Real quick, final word.
GUTFELD: No, I don't know. I just don't - I don't think they learn, they don't have any external - the only external breaks you're going to have are from people like Nick Sandmann. That's the only way to the point. If you don't do this lawsuit people stop talking about it and they move on to the next outrage.
MCDOWELL: Amen. The viral video that proves you've been eating pineapple all wrong the whole time. That's next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Excellent.
WATTERS: Welcome back. Time for the Fastest. First up, the Internet losing its mind over this viral video showing the right way to eat a pineapple. Apparently, we've been doing it completely wrong. You're supposed to pull it apart in chunks. So, Greg--
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: How you're - I don't know how--
GUTFELD: The markup. Blamed the producer - you were once a producer, so you're just supposed to eat it up. You eat it up in chunks.
WATTERS: Why don't you try.
PERINO: So, like this was nature's idea, right, that you guys could be able to pull--
WATTERS: Greg.
WILLIAMS: Silence.
GUTFELD: This is how, this is what I do when I'm at the - you know what, the worst way to eat pineapple on a pizza.
WATTERS: Yes.
GUTFELD: That's the way--
WATTERS: There you go.
GUTFELD: There we go.
WATTERS: Is that a proper producer's--
GUTFELD: Is that proper.
WILLIAMS: That was good.
WATTERS: Technique. Dana, if you ever had a part in your house and then Greg did that, I'd think you'd be offended.
PERINO: No. I have a pretty high tolerance for being offended by Greg.
WATTERS: Really?
GUTFELD: You should have heard what I said in the break.
WATTERS: I know, you weren't offended then.
PERINO: I wish I would have known this. I also liked it when I learned how to eat a mango properly.
WILLIAMS: Yes.
PERINO: It's fun to learn.
WATTERS: Okay.
WILLIAMS: That's what I was thinking that several years ago someone told me how you slice a mango and then you like create a checkerboard in the middle and then it all pops up.
PERINO: Yes.
WILLIAMS: This is not quite as good Jesse, but it's interesting because you know the difficult part about eating a pineapple is if you get the skin in your mouth, it can stick you. It can be put it out.
WATTERS: Yes, I think everyone does that, Juan. I can't believe they give me a knife for this segment. They actually thought that was a good idea. Holding a knife on live television.
GUTFELD: It will be Jesse and knife. Someone take this away from me. Dagen what do you think about the pineapple.
MCDOWELL: Don't give it to me ever. Pineapple, you're not allowed to eat in my house because it gets everything sticky. The handle on the refrigerator gets sticky. The door knobs.
PERINO: It's good to eat--
MCDOWELL: Toilet and everywhere, everything is--
WATTERS: And it's good with vodka. Did you ever have the VIPs across the street?
PERINO: No, I never had.
GUTFELD: What isn't though.
WATTERS: Delicious.
PERINO: Are you a VIP across--
WATTERS: That's right. Yes. Up next, it's one of the most heated debates in America, mayo or mustard on your sandwich. Well now you can have both. So, Heinz created a new product MAYOMUST, which combines them both. They also have MAYOCUE, which is mayonnaise and--
MCDOWELL: Barbecue sauce?
WATTERS: And MAYOCHUP, which I believe is mayonnaise and ketchup.
PERINO: Yes.
WATTERS: And I'm mad because Heinz, I had this idea years ago and you guys ripped it off. I should get that lawyer from Sandmann to represent me.
GUTFELD: Yes, you know I came up with something called Mayo Maroon 5 where you just take a Maroon 5 CD and just squirt mayonnaise all over it.
WATTERS: They should have done that at halftime.
PERINO: I think this is great. I can't believe we haven't done this before. I especially like the MAYOMUST, because I like mayonnaise and mustard and this means less plastic, right, it's by one.
WATTERS: Oh! thanks AOC.
WILLIAMS: The problem with this idea is--
WATTERS: No one's even eating them though. You say you like it--
PERINO: I have to go to Pilates.
WATTERS: Pilates.
WILLIAMS: That's the point.
GUTFELD: Do it in mayo. Mayo Pilates.
WILLIAMS: No, the problem with ketchup is it has so much sugar in it. Right.
WATTERS: It does?
WILLIAMS: Yes. So then like doctors will tell you, use mayo. But now, if you put - if you use mustard I mean. Now, if you put mayonnaise with the mustard, mayonnaise has a ton of fat.
MCDOWELL: What doctors is telling you not to eat ketchup. Don't we have a lot more problems in life than--
PERINO: No ketchup.
WATTERS: It's all bad news about pineapples and the sugar.
WILLIAMS: I love pineapple.
WATTERS: All right. I'm going to try the MAYOCHUP. For those of you out there, this is ketchup and mayonnaise.
PERINO: Thank you. Do you like it? You have One More Thing.
WATTERS: And finally, a sweet story of the son helping his dad with his new business. The son posting this tweet saying, "my dad is sad, because no one's coming to his new donut shop." He also included a photo of the empty parking lot and posted the address of the shop. And the tweet went viral. By the next day, Billy's Donuts was completely sold out. Now, I have a theory Greg, you probably think this is fake.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: I knew it.
GUTFELD: Because I'll tell you, I fell for it. So, like the first person that I saw was Jake Tapper tweeted it and I was drinking, I think, and I was like - and I was out - and I was going, this is great. And it's one of those things where you feel good doing something without doing anything. So, I just retweeted it and that will help. And then also just 9,000 retweets and then you see, this is a brilliant marketing promotion because it doesn't feel like marketing.
PERINO: Right.
GUTFELD: It feels totally like normal and nice. It's cute, but I feel like it might have been devious marketing. You can't do it again though.
WATTERS: But so, you don't think this guy's actually selling donuts.
GUTFELD: I think he's an automaton.
PERINO: I think it was great.
GUTFELD: A robot.
PERINO: Use whatever you have.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: So, like if Twitter is a thing you can use, and it doesn't cost you anything and now and everybody knows about this donut shop. I'm for it.
WILLIAMS: Wait a second. Why would the guy not be selling donuts?
GUTFELD: What do you mean?
WATTERS: Because Greg has a conspiracy theory like this is so shady. I thought maybe he thought he was trafficking in drugs or something.
PERINO: No.
GUTFELD: I was thinking--
WATTERS: You just think it's a cheap trick.
GUTFELD: No, I think it's brilliant. I fell for it. Well, I think it's brilliant. And I also love donuts.
WILLIAMS: Yes, I love donuts. I wear Homer Simpson T-shirts that say if donuts we truck. I think - what was that.
PERINO: L.
WILLIAMS: Believe me, I get them all over. Your kitchen handles and bathroom, they would be a mess--
PERINO: Right.
GUTFELD: Good jelly donut with squirts out in your face.
WILLIAMS: Remember that as Dana pointed out last week, Kraft was having trouble selling their goods. And then they created the throw the cheese at the babies. And now, they're coming up with these crazy flavors.
WATTERS: Oh! You think this is a gimmick.
WILLIAMS: So, if he's taking the donut guy--
PERINO: I'm buying that, but you guys can't visit me this summer.
WILLIAMS: The donut guys was gimmick. This is a gimmick.
WATTERS: You can take it home, okay.
PERINO: Thank you.
GUTFELD: Pineapples and beans.
PERINO: Oh! Wow.
WATTERS: You can take it home. Even the MAYOCUE, which barbecue and mayonnaise, and those of you who don't know that. One More Thing is up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: All right. It's time for One More Thing, Greg.
GUTFELD: I'm so excited. Look what we have here. Yes. We've got new stuff for the cat. All right, first cat. This is great. The cat does what we're talking about the cheese challenge. Look at that. I don't even know if that's a nice thing to do with a cat. I have mixed feelings about that.
MCDOWELL: Like animals' cruelty.
GUTFELD: You can't eat that cheese, it's got cat hair. Let's go to the next one. This is just a kitten playfully biting this guy's hand. I'm not going to have any editorial judgment on this. I think this is perverse, but it's an adorable kitten. Look at that. And then the last one, you'll love this one. Very artistic. Look at that. Amazing, how high they can get up there. You know, it's incredible.
PERINO: Wow.
WATTERS: Yes. So, Jordan--
GUTFELD: Look at that. Shall we vote. Is it cat number one with the cheese? Was it the fondly kitten or was it the leaping cat? Dagen?
MCDOWELL: 3.
GUTFELD: Juan.
WILLIAMS: 3.
WATTERS: I'm going to have to go with 1.
PERINO: 3.
GUTFELD: I'm going to - well it's 3-1. I was going to go with 1.
PERINO: All right. Well done. All right, I'm going to go next here. You know I've talked about Mercy Ships before. This is a surgical hospital ship that serves West Coast of Africa. Does amazing work. So, there is a film. No, don't make fun. This is up to South by Southwest and it's the first Oculus VR for good. Right. So, they went - and you can see this trailer. Take a listen.
So, this is the first time they've done. Mercy Ships of course they provided her the free health care life changing surgery. And it's a real virtual reality experience that you can see if you go to mercyships.org, you can learn more and check out that film, it's going to be great.
Juan, you're next.
WILLIAMS: All right. He's not Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer, but the nose on this Meola, type of antelope at the Pittsburgh Zoo. No doubt changed colors when he fell through the ice on Saturday. The good news is a real hero showed up to save him. Take a look. You may not have heard it, but out there, there is applause from zoo visitors as rescue is taking place in these icy waters urging the animal out. The zookeeper says that the zoo I should say says the keeper was not injured, but she does have a story and I imagine she's going to be the employee of the month, if not the employee of the year for getting that animal back on land.
Meanwhile, Fox News I think it's Jesse Watters is seeking an interview with the Meola.
GUTFELD: There you go.
PERINO: We should give her the parking spot for a year, not the month. Okay, Jesse?
WATTERS: Dana, you know how people say soccer is for sissies.
PERINO: Oh! I know what you're going to show.
WATTERS: It's not. People say, it's not a contact sport. Check out this guy. Oh! My God. Fan runs onto the pitch. They call it pitch, I believe.
PERINO: Yes.
WATTERS: And just whacks this guy from behind, total cheap shot.
GUTFELD: He's a real son of a pitch.
WATTERS: Son of a pitch. That guy is right. And you know what, he was sentenced to 14 weeks in prison. Can't attend another soccer match in the UK for 10 years.
MCDOWELL: That's terrible.
WATTERS: That's what you get.
GUTFELD: That's a long time in jail.
WATTERS: Also, if you guys ever looking for great breakfast, in Florida, especially on the East Coast, maybe if you're in Lantana, Florida, go to Dune Deck Cafe, best breakfast ever and they let you tear the pineapple apart with your bare hands. Honestly, the best breakfast of all-time.
PERINO: All right. Dagen?
MCDOWELL: This one is for you, Dana. Megan and Stephen Long launched a line of beer for dogs, it's called Good Boy Dog Beer. They started brewing the drink to help one of their dogs who had some health problems. Bone broth, fruit, vegetables, herbs and spices. Humans can drink it.
GUTFELD: Is there alcohol?
MCDOWELL: No.
GUTFELD: What's the point?
MCDOWELL: No alcohol. Sadly. So, your dog can feel more like connected to your own life, Greg. So, these are--
WATTERS: Dog one.
PERINO: Innovation.
MCDOWELL: Session swirl mailman - mailman malt liquor, IPA a lot in the yard. Sniffing.
PERINO: Dagen, that was a great one. All right. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of "The Five." "Special Report" is up next.
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