Published May 08, 2017
The Edwards scandal sadly puts the issue of infidelity on the table yet again.
My issue is not with the infidelity, but making a big deal pushing first the fidelity.
In other words, using your marriage as a campaign tool. A bragging point.
Great if it truly is. Not so great, if it is not.
My fear is that if you have to keep telling people how wonderful you are, maybe you are not.
That sort of stuff should be obvious.
I remember meeting an elderly couple at a hospital. He came dutifully to visit a dying wife.
When they got together they didn't say much. He tended to her, while she read. He'd hold her hand. She'd smile.
He seemed to know he was losing her. She seemed to know he was having a hard time with that.
You saw it in their eyes. And when I talked to one of their kids who visited, you saw it in the simple, quiet way they expressed their love for nearly 60 years.
A marriage, a relationship is an intensely private issue. And so it should be.
But candidates who make it a public issue cannot be surprised when it stays that way, even after it has fallen apart in private.
If it is human to admit an infidelity, it should be just as human to admit over-hyping a fidelity.
As my Irish mom used to say, "a man of actions always beats a man of words."
My Italian dad had a more terse take, "If you're so damn hot, shut the hell up and prove it."
My parents lived a lot of sometimes bumpy years together, but together throughout.
Until my mom passed away, and not too much later, my dad too.
Each proving quietly that love speaks loudly when it doesn't speak or brag at all.
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