Published May 30, 2017
This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 29, 2017. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I am Kimberly Guilfoyle. Along with Richard Fowler, Jesse Watters, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 9 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."
Thank you for joining us. We hope you all enjoyed your holiday weekend. On this Memorial Day, we honor our fallen heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice to protect our freedom. You and your families are in our thoughts and in our prayers. We also want to thank the men and women currently serving in our armed forces. We pray for your safety and for your families. We are living in very dangerous and uncertain times with waves of terror groups in the globe. But President Trump vows America will aggressively confront the threat and warned the Muslim world recently, it must as well.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: There can be no coexistence with this violence. There can be no tolerating it, no accepting it, no excusing it and no ignoring it. This is a battle between barbaric criminals who seek to obliterate human life and decent people. Drive them out of your communities. Drive them out of your holy lands. And drive them out of this earth.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: We cannot tolerate terror. We must confront it. BBC commentator has a surprisingly different perspective, she offered it on air following the devastating new attack on the U.K. last week. She thinks we must learn to accept the barbarity.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KATTY KAY: Europe is getting used to attacks like this. We have to. Because we will never be able to totally wipe this out. As ISIS gets squeezed in Syria and Iraq, we will going to see more of these kinds of attacks taking place in Europe. And Europe is starting to get used to that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: Okay. Greg, people should reject this idea that we should just accept terror and learn to coexist.
GUTFELD: Well, I mean, it's an interesting contrast. Because there's nothing more refreshing than blunt language at times. And that's -- whether you like them or not, that's what you get for Trump. That is the blunt, most blunt explanation I guess explanation of what one must do to fight terror. Caddy K, not okay. Imagine saying, get used to it to certain other injustices. Like to a, you know, a bullied child. Get used to it. Or a victim of racism or domestic abuse or spouse abuse.
GUILFOYLE: Sexual assault.
GUTFELD: Yes. So, there's separate levels of judgments for injustice as you perpetuated into society, you are not okay but if it's from an outsider -- or if it's from somebody that has a grievance, real or manufactured, in this case manufactured, radical Islam. But they're adopting the grievance kind of culture. We have to get used to it.
GUILFOYLE: Dana, do you think this kind of attitude that people have, that has coexists to accept it -- sort of become one with the idea that we live in a world of terror is dangerous?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I'm not exactly sure that's what she means. I think she was also trying to be very practical. And the truth is, Europe does have a severe problem. They are infested with terrorists all the way across the continent. And that's been because of several decades of allowing basically unfettered immigration and now they can't track them down. And the thing is, it's not just refugees who just arrived last month that are causing the problems. It's the children of refugees with the next generation that has some sort of vengeance that they want to exact. So, I don't agree though with the defeat his attitude. I would never accept it.
PERINO: And I think there has to be a whole different way of fighting it. And when President Trump met with NATO members, I think the other thing that he was doing is not just making sure that they knew that they had to pay up so that we can all work together on this. But also he's preparing for a very big decision on Afghanistan and a new approach to that. And there's a new debate within the White House as to what that should be.
And I think that this foreign trip that you just took would actually lead him to wanting to do more. Because I feel like he had this transformation over the past six months. And in particular, when he's there in Europe -- there's this massive terrorist attack. And everyone looks to him. Like you are the leader of the free world. What are we going to do? And he says with very strong language, we're not going to put up with it. So, that's I think on the table for him in the next couple of weeks. I think you will see a stronger position put forward on at least the Afghanistan plan.
GUILFOYLE: I think that's so interesting because I've been listening to an interview -- in "The Wall Street Journal," talking about how there was an impact on President Bush as well, you know, after 9/11.
GUILFOYLE: And these things that are a transformative experience as you were there.
PERINO: Right. Well, because for example, nobody campaigns because they want to go to war. They campaign to be president because they want to make schools better or new taxes. President Trump makes America great again. Obama's hope and change. And then when stuff happens on your watch and you become the responsible party, you do have a different attitude towards it. And then you become the decider and you have to move forward.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Jesse, so the President having a very consistent message during the campaign. Put America first. Make America safe again. And then now telling the world we must drive them out for terrorists and people who practice Jihad.
JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: I thought it was terrific rhetorical flourish. Drive them out. Drive them out. Drive them out. You know, he had a great overseas trip. He went there with still an America first attitude. The Saudi arms deal. A $110 billion. We are getting jobs. We're getting cash for that deal. And then we're letting the Saudis take the lead in confronting the Iranians and other bad actors in the region. That's one thing.
Number two, he put the onus on the Muslim world. America is not going to be able to defeat these Islamic fascists by ourselves. We've recognized the limitations of doing that during the Bush administration. And then also in the Obama administration, they're going to have to be the tip of the spirit unless we are going to drive these people out. He puts some pressure on the clerics. This is not a war on Christianity versus Israelis versus Islam. This is a war of savages versus civilized people. And he kind of was uplifting and he said, you know, the Middle East used to be this is amazing trade route whether this shipping lanes and this is, you know, the access from Asia, the Europe and you know, this bedrock of civilization.
Let's get back to that, let's return to that prosperity because the prosperity is there. But until you guys drive out these awful, awful people -- you're never going to have any success. You are not going to have families. You're not going to have money. You're not going to have safety. So, I think the President is very effective in doing that. And he came back to Israel. Put a little, bar a little high I think by saying I could possibly stop the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And then call these people losers. And I think calling then losers sets them up because he's very effective at branding. And it just shows that we will win when we defeat them because that's going to stop recruitment.
WATTERS: If no one wants to join a team that's losing, so, I think he's really set that up effectively.
GUILFOYLE: He doubled down and he called them losers. People criticize him for saying, no in fact I'm sticking with that.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Welcome to the show. Great to see you.
RICHARD FOWLER, GUEST CO-HOST: Good to be here. Well, I think they are losers. I will give you that one.
WATTERS: Way out to back to go out on a limb, Fowler.
FOWLER: Well, here's the thing. I think there's a couple, and I do agree, I think we do have to drive them out. I think you have to parse this. Right. Because you have the ISIS fighters in Syria, in Iraq and then you also have those folks who are self-radicalizing here in the United States and here in Europe. And solving those problems are two different things. And I think the other, the third problem that we have here is the Syrian civil war.
And you have parsed the Syrian civil war different from ISIS expansion. You can't do it. Well, you have to see them as three different isolated things. And I think what I would hope to see from this administration is one, how do we solve self-radicalizing here in the United States? Two, how do we defeat ISIS in the Middle East and three, how to become to some sort of resolution in the Syrian civil war and take Assad out? And if those three things aren't there, then I'm against it.
WATTERS: I don't know if I heard from President Trump that he wants to necessarily take Assad out in that speech in Saudi Arabia. I got the sense that, he said, you know what? We're not going to try to impose our values. We're not going to initiate the game change that has not necessarily been effective. I thought he said let's just kill ISIS and squeeze those people and then we could maybe come to a political solution.
FOWLER: Well, I don't think you can. Because the reason why ISIS is drawing is because of Assad primarily. Right? Because he's saying, I'm going to gas people, I'm going to blow people up. And the Muslim community is saying, if you are going to blow us up, we will join these people who are going to blow you up. So, we have to deal with Assad and Assad has always been a problem. If we don't deal with him, ISIS will forever continue to expand.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Can I point out that this is a first for me on a shoulder, I've actually changed my mind based on what somebody else said.
WATTERS: Was it me or fowler?
GUTFELD: No, it was Dana. I've been sitting here from five minutes thinking that I was probably wrong about caddy cave. I think that what she was saying, was more like a depressed resignation over the event rather than saying get used to it. She wasn't saying get used to it, she says, sadly, this has become a regular thing. So, I am going to retract everything I just said at the beginning of this show.
WATTERS: Wow! You know, let me see if I can change your mind --
GUILFOYLE: Yes. Exactly.
WATTERS: I think Europeans have a different mindset towards terrorism. Because Europe, World War I, World War II, there's just been so much blood and tragedy at that continent. America is not used to that.
GUILFOYLE: Let's not get used to that.
WATTERS: And we don't want to get used to that. We don't want to accept that. We don't want to normalize --
GUTFELD: During the IRA experience, it was like, the whole thing was carry-on.
GUTFELD: Just get on with it. The upside of that is that you know, you don't let them get the best of you. The downside is, just stop it.
WATTERS: I don't think it does stop it. And I would say to the people that say, Republican rhetoric is increasing, recruitment for ISIS which we've heard for the last eight years. I would say what Katty Kay said, about we have to get used to it. If ISIS plays out on a loop on YouTube, I think that's a very effective recruitment strategy. Because ISIS is taking, you know what, the British have accepted business as usual. They've accepted the fact that we're going to be successful on the European continent.
FOWLER: But here's my pushback on that. And I've rarely ever quote George Bush but I will hear. He was the one who said that we should never cower to terror. I think one speech of him or Dick Cheney -- go to Disney world. You're your family on vacation. Keep living. That is how you beat terrorism.
WATTERS: I agree with that.
FOWLER: The moment you increase security. The moment you take their shoes off at the airport, you make them to have three ounce battles and not one, nine ounce battle.
GUILFOYLE: It's got to be measured though, Richard --
FOWLER: You make them win.
GUILFOYLE: -- that make sense, that arbitrary, right?
GUILFOYLE: That is something that actually makes sense. I mean, you have to do a lot. It has to be multifaceted approach. You have to be able to have the rhetoric that's there. You have to have the action, the military strength to back it up. You have to have a plan. You have to have real intelligence being developed. Not just thrown everybody which is also kind of life to do. But you don't get the information back.
GUILFOYLE: Memorial Day.
PERINO: Well, also because we know that these people that have committed to self-radicalization, every single one of them has been on the radar screen of law enforcement at some point.
PERINO: And then with this in particular, you have traveled to Libya and a return, connection to ISIS. And I don't fault a law enforcement. I know that they're doing all that they can to share information but at some point, can there be preemptive measures?
FOWLER: I agree.
PERINO: To basically -- I don't know how you put somebody into custody before they committed an act but if you know they are on the radar for a possible self-radicalization, I think that's a conversation that the world needs to have. Like, are we willing to do that?
WATTERS: They may come back from Libya.
FOWLER: The one thing I will say here before we go to break is that, we can no longer afford to spill our blood and treasure in the Middle East. That has to be -- that's it. We cannot afford to spill any more blood and treasure in the Middle East. Period.
WATTERS: No one wants to do that.
GUTFELD: But what if I mean, what if you took the evil -- if you removed it from the Middle East and you said, okay, there was this bloodthirsty horde coming from another planet. We wouldn't think about it in a political way. We would think about it in a unifying way that's like, we are fighting this group. A roving band of creatures that destroy and butcher young girls. And we could actually, we stop thinking about the Middle East. We are thinking about the actual faction.
GUTFELD: We have to start thinking like that. But I guarantee you, there will be a group of people that say those people from planet X, you know, that's their culture. We should lay off.
WATTERS: That's what Trump is saying. They are barbarians and we are civilized people and we need to fight them no matter where we come from.
GUILFOYLE: Absolutely. You can't take anything off the table, can you?
GUTFELD: Not even the table.
GUILFOYLE: Definitely not the chairs.
Ahead, Democrats are more determined than ever to win back the White House in 2020 and there's a lot of talk already about who may throw their hat in the ring. We have got a list about some of the possible top contenders and our thoughts, next.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: America needs us. Americans deserve strong, capable leaders. Leaders who care about this country and care about its people.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That kind of sounds like you and me. I guess we've got to do it. Come on! Let's go! Let's go! We are doing it! Yehey! Yehey!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: The Rock and Tom Hanks having some fun announcing a run in 2020 on "Saturday Night Live." It may sound far-off but there's already a lot of buzz about possible contenders. Here are just a few on Politico's early fill guy to 2020. Bernie Sanders on there and so is Joe Biden. I had a prediction, at the beginning of the year, that Al Franken would definitely be on that list, he has a book that is coming out tomorrow. And he says, he's not going to do that. Do you believe him, Jesse?
WATTERS: I do, I don't think Franken is going to run. I think he's going to stay in Minnesota and make jokes that no one laughs at. But I don't think these celebrities are going to work. Because I think what they are trying to do is do Trump light. And, you know, you have a celebrity, businessman -- yes. Trump, left, Trump, light. I don't think kind of imitating that works. I think you need a total contrast to President Trump. I think that could be more effective.
I remember when Bush ran for reelection, they want a John Kerry because he had experience in the military. And those during the Iraq war. It doesn't really work. You need someone and I hate to say, you need someone the opposite of Trump if you are a Democrat. To fire up the base and run a country.
GUILFOYLE: Who would that be, Richard?
WATTERS: Elizabeth Warren. Someone like that and you know what, she doesn't pull punches.
WATTERS: She would mock him.
PERINO: All right. Richard, we are glad you are here, who do you think honestly?
FOWLER: I have one contender.
PERINO: Only one?
PERINO: Okay. In November. All right.
FOWLER: Vice President Joe Biden.
GUTFELD: He's going to be quite old.
PERINO: He's going to be 24 year older than President Trump if he were to --
FOWLER: And here's why, here's the thing, so Democrats, I mean, there's a lot of arguments about why we lost this election. We could rehash it if you'd like I won't. But part of it is that we lost working-class Americans. And there's one guy I would argue in the country that really gets working-class folk, and that's Joe Biden. Because he was one. His father was one. And talk about electrifying a crowd. Right? You put Joe Biden in the room and when I was --
GUTFELD: People are touched, literally.
GUILFOYLE: Dental massage.
FOWLER: But in Philly, for example, during a speech, we were all there, we saw it, I mean, there is more applause during his speech than during Hillary Clinton's speech. So -- Joe Biden.
PERINO: That could be possible. All right. There's other people --
GUILFOYLE: I love Joe Biden.
FOWLER: Would you vote for him?
PERINO: There are some Californians on here. Governor Jerry Brown and also California Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom.
GUILFOYLE: Then why the rumor that I was married to him at one point in my life?
GUTFELD: You win some, you knew some.
GUILFOYLE: And I knew some.
GUILFOYLE: No, no, no, yes, you know, I think he would make a great governor. I think he's going to win. And I think he has always wanted to run for president. I mean, you know, I don't know.
PERINO: Did he tell you that?
GUILFOYLE: Secrets out. But actually, he's very hard-working. Has a passion about what he does. I think his party is very lucky to have him. I disagree with many of his policies, as he knows but I appreciate his authenticity and definitely his passion about it.
PERINO: But Greg, do you think a celebrity could run after "20/20"?
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes and no, Dana.
PERINO: Okay. Could you explain?
GUTFELD: No and yes.
Okay. Here's the thing. This is going to blow your minds. And everybody at home is going to go, he's absolutely right. The Gutfeld role of 100. What happened 100 years before 2020? The right to vote for women. If you don't run on that, I mean, how can you lose? Well, I would go with Gabbard. Yes. Tulsi Gabbard. A woman whose name I keep forgetting in California.
GUILFOYLE: Pamela Harris.
WATTERS: Pamela Harris.
GUTFELD: Yes. Okay. But the fact is, 100 years. You already have it built in. You have a slogan. It's like, you know, Tulsi, it's about damn time. It's 100 years. How can you go wrong with that? A hundred years.
FOWLER: That's a good point.
GUILFOYLE: A good point.
GUTFELD: All right. I'm done.
GUILFOYLE: You can't get better than that. Please leave.
PERINO: Another person that's on here, that I wonder what you think Jesse is Governor Andrew Cuomo. What do you think? Can New Yorkers battle it out again?
WATTERS: You know, I don't know about Cuomo. A couple of years ago, he was really in a great trajectory and I think he went really far left unfortunately.
FOWLER: I disagree.
He has major problems with labor unions. I mean, he had those million dollar fight in New York --
GUTFELD: And he hates de Blasio.
WATTERS: I just don't know if it translate to the rest of the country.
FOWLER: Well, I think he has a New York state of mind and I think we're living the New York state of mind now in the White House, I'm not sure we want to read you that.
PERINO: Jesse is loving it.
The New York state of mind is Jesse Watters' world.
GUILFOYLE: I think he's going to run.
WATTERS: That's right.
FOWLER: The breaking news here is that Kimberly said she would vote for Joe Biden. They missed that.
GUTFELD: What if Gavin runs and gets the nomination, what would you do?
GUILFOYLE: If he was running against President Trump?
GUTFELD: Yes. What would happen?
WATTERS: Would you get back together?
GUILFOYLE: Of course not.
WATTERS: First Lady.
PERINO: What do you have to offer?
PERINO: Directly ahead, we have some advice for the class of 2017. We're back in a moment.
KELLY WRIGHT, FOX NEWS: Live from America's news headquarters, I'm Kelly Wright in Washington. Here's what's happening.
President Trump condemning the killings of two men who tried to stop a racist rant on a Portland, Oregon, light rail train. The President saying, quote, the violent attacks in Portland are unacceptable. He also tweeted the victims were standing up to hate and intolerance. Our prayers are with them. The 23-year-old and 53-year-old men were killed Friday as they tried to stop a suspect from harassing two women. One of whom was wearing a Hijab. Another man was seriously injured.
Elsewhere in the news, golf great Tiger Woods arrested in Florida on suspicion of DUI. Woods released a statement tonight disputing that alcohol was involved. He instead blames an unexpected reaction to prescribed medications. Woods, a 14 time major champion is out for the rest of the season while recovering from his fourth back surgery.
I am Kelly Wright. Back to "The Five."
WATTERS: Congratulations to the class of 2017 but welcome to the real world.
Some big names had been dishing out advised to grads around the country.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)
TRUMP: Never, ever give up. Carry yourself with dignity and pride. Demand the best from yourself and be totally unafraid to challenge entrenched interests and failed power structures.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Don't lose your sense of humor. Do confront bullies. Don't procrastinate.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Whether you're a conservative or a liberal, or Republican, or a Democrat, it doesn't matter as long as you believe that our common humanity matters most.
OPRAH WINFREY, TALK SHOW HOST: There is no light without a spiritual life. Practice being grateful. And a lot of people say, oh, Oprah, that's easy for you because you've got everything. I've got everything because I practiced being grateful.
(END VIDEO CLIPS)
WATTERS: It has become an annual tradition on "The Five," for us to share our pearls of wisdom. So, let's go around the table starting with K.G.
GUILFOYLE: All right. So, I like all the advice. These are all great speeches. I think the one thing that I would say is, no matter how much adversity you face in life, no matter how many times you come up against a roadblock, don't be afraid to be courageous and to try again and to never give up. I mean, you all ultimately will be your own best advocate, to put forward your passions, your dreams, your desires and represent yourself and be able to get people to believe in you and take a chance on you.
And it's a powerful thing inside of you that we all have. And that desire to want to have a good life. To have a grateful life like Oprah said. You know, it's a great feeling when you wake up in the morning and you go to bed at night, and you're doing something you're passionate about. So, it's worth fighting for.
WATTERS: Absolutely. Richard, what about you?
FOWLER: Well, I have two things. One, believe in the power of your dreams. And I say that constantly to all the folks that I mentor. If you believe in the power of your dreams you can achieve them. And the second thing, you will likely fail. But fail quickly. And remember when you are failing, if you can look down at your feet, right? And I do this all the time, and if you can put one foot in front of the other, that means you still got a chance.
WATTERS: Very good.
PERINO: Didn't you go to Chicago recently with Eboni Williams? What was your message then?
FOWLER: Same thing. I love Lady O. Greatest prayer anybody could ever have.
WATTERS: Lady O, I didn't know you guys were so close. Dana?
PERINO: My advice is very practical. That is, get a job, any job, serious. There are some new parents now, friends of a friend -- I'm sure this happens to anybody. Can you help with the best internship ever? Can you help with this possible interest? There's not enough to go around. My recommendation is don't wait six or seven months for that perfect offer. It might not come. In the meantime, while you wait for that offered, take any job. And also go away. You're going to work the rest of your life. Take this time when you're young and excited, go see something new. It will pay dividends later on.
WATTERS: I can't believe I'm saying this but I agree with Dana. I also took any job that would have me, I was a bellhop at a hotel were a few months after I graduated from college. It was the best job I ever had. I made a lot of tips. I learned how to hustle for money. I learned that I didn't want to be a bellhop for the rest of my life.
PERINO: Exactly and now you tip the bellhop as well.
WATTERS: I tip them big.
PERINO: Did you pop your collar?
WATTERS: No. I did not. There is an attractive girl it would pull up. I would bring the bags up. I would leave them at the door and I would say is there anything else? And then she would say no. And then I would realize I was wearing a bellhop uniform. Oh, yeah, no kidding. Greg.
GUILFOYLE: While. That was wow, humiliating.
GUTFELD: My post college advice? Give up. Don't be courageous. Do as little as possible. Procrastinate. Don't challenge anyone. Don't be grateful. Don't dream. My point is it's too late for you. I have advice for people who are in college. If you want to be successful after college, college, you have to abandon identity politics. What happens after college creates a visible chip on your shoulder that you can see from space. And no job recruiter is going to want to hire somebody who sees and expresses themselves as a perpetual victim. When you give off the idea that you are a victim, nobody wants to be around you. I want to paraphrase Shelby Steele. When he deals with someone in the thrall of grievance culture, he always asks them -- what would you say if you weren't a victim? What would you do if you didn't think as a victim? Embracing victimhood allows an off-ramp from testing your abilities and taking advantage of the opportunities by constantly saying I am a victim, you have the world around you that offers so many things but you are angry. You've got to let that go.
PERINO: I would never hire that person.
WATTERS: And don't take Greg Gutfeld's job, a big remake on the new improved wonder woman, up next.
FOWLER: Memorial Day, the unofficial start of summer. That means big budget blockbuster movies dominating theaters, the most anticipated film, Wonder Woman. You may remember the 1970s TV classic starring Linda Carter.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: So cool.
FOWLER: In the 2017 movie remake, here is a clip.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Who is this young woman?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She is my... friend.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Diana.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
FOWLER: So clearly, movie remakes are the new trend because with that being said -- I think superhero movies can be remade all the time. I was in x-men watcher as a kindergartner.
GUILFOYLE: Oh my god. How old are you?
FOWLER: I am happily 30. I watch all of the X-men remakes. With that being said, there are other remakes coming out like Top Gun.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, I heard about that.
PERINO: I don't like the remake idea very much. The great Gatsby, that was pretty good. Leonardo DiCaprio.
FOWLER: Let's take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Roger. I got him, 2011, 30 miles, 909 closures.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I feel the need -- the need for speed.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: That remake looks exactly like the original.
FOWLER: that was the old one. What's your take on it?
GUTFELD: Let me just say something on it. It's not about the sequels are bad. It's that they never do the right sequels to the right movies. For example, they've never done a sequel to seven which was a fantastic movie. They could call it eight and Gwyneth Paltrow's head would be reanimated by lightning and wreak havoc in an upscale aromatherapy shop.
GUILFOYLE: I think you actually for real might have problems. At first it was a joke.
GUTFELD: What about deliverance? I want to know what happens to the families.
GUILFOYLE: What's next, Hannibal Lector?
FOWLER: Dana, how do you feel about remakes?
PERINO: Now that I am older and I make a reference to pretty in pink or fast times at Ridgeon High, young people -- we've never seen them? You can never come on "The five" again until you watch those two movies.
GUILFOYLE: Fast times at Ridgeon high.
GUTFELD: I think the whole audience needed that information, Kimberly. You're the kid they got invited at a birthday party that needs to tell everybody.
GUILFOYLE: That awesome bed you have downstairs.
GUTFELD: You don't want to know what's in that bed.
FOWLER: Dirty dancing is also doing a remake by ABC. I took a look at the clip. You can put that baby back in the corner.
GUILFOYLE: Oh my gosh, it's bad?
WATTERS: This is the original?
FOWLER: This is the preview for the new one.
WATTERS: It doesn't look that dirty to me.
GUILFOYLE: Wonder woman to me looks exceptional. She could kill ISIS. I'm totally into it, also Top Gun.
GUTFELD: A sequel to the graduate. What happened after? He ruins the wedding. You know its two months. They are going to be divorced. I want to see that movie.
WATTERS: I would like to see a prequel of jaws. What was that shark doing before?
GUILFOYLE: It would be by "National Geographic."
PERINO: Getting bigger.
FOWLER: I think of a lot of people with jaws, because you have shark nato.
GUTFELD: I want prequels. What happened before it happened, like Die Hard. How did those terrorist -- what was the terrorist planning before hand?
GUILFOYLE: Do you like prequels or sequels?
GUTFELD: I like Nyquil. It's when you watch a sequel at night, when you are drunk.
GUILFOYLE: You are not supposed to mix that with alcohol.
GUTFELD: I am mixing it with pudding.
GUILFOYLE: Are you serious?
GUTFELD: I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just moving my mouth.
FOWLER: We will be talking about some of the things you don't do anymore because of technology. Are robots taking over? Stay tuned!
GUTFELD: Technology is making a lot of things in life easier. If you are under 20 like me, you've probably never memorized a phone number, had a CD or record collection, use an actual dictionary, we wanted to take a look back at those times when we have those things before all the robots now take over the world. Dana, what you miss about the pre-technology list?
PERINO: I read this list and I actually don't miss a lot. The handwritten letter -- I still do, although my handwriting has deteriorated. Things like memorizing phone numbers -- I used to be able to keep a lot of phone numbers in my head in a given that up and I think that has freed my mind to do other things that are really important.
GUTFELD: You will be helpless if you lose your phone. You won't know the number.
PERINO: That is why it's really important that you should print out your contact list every six months so you can have those numbers just in case.
GUILFOYLE: Who will add them back in?
WATTERS: I guess people don't use phones booths anymore except for drug dealers.
GUTFELD: Apparently don't walk the streets of New York is much as I do.
WATTERS: I use GPS when I drive in my own neighborhood.
PERINO: Even when you know where you are going?
WATTERS: My GPS will tell me to go to the middle of the train wreck tracks and I will trust it. Even if I know where I am going, I will still follow the GPS like an idiot.
GUILFOYLE: It doesn't make any sense. Why would you do that?
GUTFELD: There reports of people who do drive until the lakes because they were confused.
FOWLER: That is not technology. That is just stupidity.
GUTFELD: How about you? You are too young to offer anything of value.
FOWLER: I missed buying CD's.
FOWLER: It was fun.
PERINO: Did you ever go look for albums?
FOWLER: My first CD was Destiny's Child.
GUTFELD: I knew you were going to say it.
FOWLER: Trying to open the CD and take the tape off -- 90 just go on iTunes and press click. It's just not the same.
GUTFELD: You lose the joy -- I picked my college, because of the record stores. Berkeley. Anyway, that is not for me to talk about. Kimberly.
GUILFOYLE: He is a thing that was fun. Remember we used to make photo albums? When I was little, I had those little photo albums. Then I got married and never made that first one. Then I got married and still haven't gotten to that one. One of these days, I will go back to making photo albums.
PERINO: I miss cutting things out of the newspaper.
GUTFELD: Like hostage notes?
PERINO: Like I thought of you today when I saw this article.
GUTFELD: Don't you remember that in movies? Every movie, the bad guy was cutting stuff out from a magazine. They don't do that anymore. That gets to my point. The 1970s was a really crabby decade for a lot of things. The rotary phone was always covered in food because if you had kids -- I had three older sisters. I didn't understand the phone calls that would come in from mysterious men. Which are no longer -- you can no longer do an obscene phone call. No more prank phone calls.
FOWLER: Can you do star 67?
PERINO: That still works.
GUTFELD: There's no more litter. You don't see stray dogs, really bad TV dinners.
WATTERS: Where did you grow up?
FOWLER: Greg Gutfeld had a lot of stray dogs and cats and litters everywhere.
GUTFELD: The suburbs were a mess, party line.
GUILFOYLE: I miss mix tapes. I used to get the nicest ones.
PERINO: The internet can do it for you.
WATTERS: Can you make me a mix tape, K.G. ?
GUTFELD: Get rid of this segment, right now. "One more thing" is up next.
GUILFOYLE: Time now for "One more thing." Jesse.
WATTERS: In honor of the Memorial Day, I want to give you guys a little throwback waters world to a famous beach quiz. Roll the tape.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: World War II, who do we fight there?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: If my teacher watches this. She will probably be real mad. China?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The south?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: That was the last question. We fought the south in World War II, happy Memorial Day.
GUILFOYLE: Tough job you have there. Ok, Greg.
GUTFELD: Why did I have to see Jesse with his collar up, I thought I thought he would pass that period. We need to bring those tapes. The phrase I am banning today does not pass the smell test. It's disgusting. To say it's not true. Does it pass the smell test? I find that offensive.
GUTFELD: I don't know.
GUILFOYLE: I can tell you have low energy today.
PERINO: There is a dog named K9 Doug and he is from Virginia, he was shot in the neck during a pursuit of a suspect. The 2-year-old German Sheppard acted upon a suspect shooting at officers in an attempt to save them from being harmed. He was rushed to emergency surgery, hailed as a hero immediately after the accident. He has made a total recovery. It's hard to believe all the things he is able to do now. We want to thank all those k-9 officers.
GUTFELD: It's a dog from Spotsylvania.
PERINO: It's actually a city.
GUILFOYLE: Like a dog have spots.
GUTFELD: Remember back in the '70s? They were called spot.
GUILFOYLE: Back when Richard was in kindergarten.
FOWLER: This one is for you. From street gang to fashion empire this (inaudible) group, they used to be a street gang, an LGBT group. They are now called checkered enterprises. I bought a t-shirt. They believe -- they mentor others and help them escape bullying by embracing entrepreneurship.
PERINO: I love that.
WATTERS: Check it out.
GUTFELD: I was in a street gang.
GUILFOYLE: I have a nice story here for us. Some amazing photos to share on this Memorial Day. Take a look at the bride, her 92-year-old uncle -- World War II and Korean War veteran asked her something blue during her wedding on May 13th, believe me, (inaudible) in Missouri turning him son something blue. He wears Marine Corp uniform, complete with blue pants. Great respect and admiration for those in the armed services, congratulations, have a wonderful life. For all of you at home and I'm us here on "The Five," that is all. Thank you for joining us here on this Memorial Day and godspeed for all our troops. We will be back here tomorrow. Have a great night, everyone.
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