Aaron Hernandez penned suicide notes to his lawyer, his fiancée Shayanna Jenkins and his daughter, to whom he told to “never fear him” as he entered a “timeless realm.”
The former NFL star, who hanged himself in his Massachusetts prison cell on April 19, 2017, left the suicide notes that his lawyer, Jose Baez, detailed in his book “Unnecessary Roughness: Inside the Trial and Final Days of Aaron Hernandez.”
Hernandez was serving life in prison, but had been acquitted of a second murder just days before his death.
The notes, published by the New York Post on Saturday, were written on ruled paper and revealed the former New England Patriots state of mind before his death.
Hernandez wrote in the note left to his daughter, Avielle Jenkins-Hernandez, that he wanted her to “never fear” him, but to love him eternally.
“Daddy will never leave you! I’m entering to the timeless realm in which I can enter into any form at any time because everything that could happen or not happened I see all at once! Life is eternal—believe!!!” Hernandez wrote in the letter, according to the Post. “Love, repent, and see me/yourself in everyone because that’s what the truth is! I’ll see you all in the heavens awaiting you all with the same love.”
He continued, “Never fear me, but love me with all of you! Fear is the only separation between you and I! We are each other—I/you—you/me—there’s no need to fear but what you do unto another will come back around!”
Hernandez lists titles of books that Baez believes had meant something to the convicted felon during his time in prison.
“It’s not uncommon for people who go through hard times to reach back into their faith. And he had people who supported him in his faith and [sent] books to him. He ordered books from the library,” Baez wrote in his upcoming book.
In the letter to Shayanna Jenkins, Hernandez was more cryptic with his wording, telling his then-fiancée that he told her “what was coming indirectly.” He included a drawing of a thin rope dangling from a noose.
“You have always been my soul-mate and I want you to love life and know I’m always with you. I told you what was coming indirectly! I love you so much and know [you] are an angel,” Hernandez wrote. “We split into two to come change the world! Your characteristic is that of a true angel and the definition of God’s love! Tell my story fully but never think anything besides how much I love you.”
Hernandez went on to say it was “the supreme almightys plan” and told Jenkins to tell their daughter how much he loves her.
“Look after Jano and Eddie for me — they are my boys (You’re Rich),” he said, referring to his cousin’s children.
Hernandez also referenced the couple’s song, Savage Garden’s “I Knew I Loved You” and the passage John 3:16, which read, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Baez said that Hernandez’s note addressed to him showed no indication the former NFL star was contemplating suicide. Hernandez mentioned contacting music artists, such as Meek Mill and Jay-Z, who have helped him through his “tough times.”
“Well, I wrote this letter following my acquittal and wanted to voice how I felt and let some people whos[e] music helped me get through hard times, know that it did. Wrong or right — who knows — I just follow my natural instincts and how it guides me. Pros or cons, didn’t weigh them, but I’m sure you’ll let me know your view,” Hernandez wrote to Baez.
“Besides that, I want you to know you have me forever like you never understood and time will reveal that I’m not perfect but my love and loyalty is like you’ve never seen! I appreciate all your work, time, effort, and never let that slip your mind! In time, you will see how appreciated you are, as well as all the others equally!” he continued.
“I would like to send you letters so you can send to their [the artists] information or whichever way you think best. I don’t want any media really getting into me, trying to just send my love to all the artists who got me through my tough times and sending my respect to a few of the real ones out there,” Hernandez said about thanking his favorite artists.