Need some guidance in the love department? Just ask iMag's new relationship host, Diana Falzone. Her inbox has been overflowing with questions since we posted our new series, "Date Night with Diana". Read on to see how she helps two viewers take on their dating woes.
Q: Hi Diana,
I have Nonverbal Learning Disorder, or NLD, that for over 27 years (I turn 28 in June) went undiagnosed and untreated. Because it went untreated, it was a major contributor to a 7.5 year battle with major depression that I finally won in January. While I was depressed, I spent a lot to self medicate. I am now in debt, and living with my grandma. Thankfully, my debt is manageable, and I will be completely out of debt in 2-3 years.
My problem is how and when should I tell a girl I recently began dating about my battle with depression and the toll it took on me financially? I know she will eventually find out if this turns into a relationship, but this is stressing me out, because I don't want to scare her off if I tell her too soon, or by waiting too long to tell her. Any advice is appreciated.
Love the show, and thank you again.
A: Dear Josh,
First off, congratulations. Depression is a hard battle to win but you're succeeding. Please don't feel like you're different or alone with your diagnosis. In terms of your dating situation, I feel it is best for you to get to know her more. You are revealing something very personal. Therefore, it is important to know if you want to share this with someone you just met. Trust is earned. Give it some time ... perhaps three months to see where the relationship is heading. If you think it is lending itself to be a serious relationship, then honesty is a must. If she does not handle the information well, she is not meant to be your partner. You need someone who is as strong as you. Do not feel rushed. Take your time to get to know her. You will know if she is the person you want to share yourself with.
All the best,
Q: Dear Diana,
I am a 48 year-old widow. My husband died almost 8 years ago. I have three children, two married and a son at home in high school. I met a man about a year and a half ago and he started talking about marriage almost right away. He is a really nice man, BUT, he is 56 years old and lives at home with his mother. He married for the first time when he was in his late 40's but it ended in divorce. He stays with his mother to help take care of her since she lives alone. He says when she gets bad enough to go to a nursing home, then we can be together.
He wants to be with me constantly though. But only to sit together on the couch and just sit. I have to sit beside him so that he can put his arm around me. If I get up to do anything while he is here, he says that I have no time for him. He very rarely wants to go out. If we go out and he asks, he pays. If I ask him to go out, I have to pay for me, him and my son. I work part-time so that I can be home with my son and have a limited income. He works full-time, has a business on the side and has no bills since he lives with Mom. And if he finds out that I have planned to go out with my family, he invites himself along and I pay. If we go grocery shopping, he puts things in my cart, I pay for them and he never offers to pay me back. I've quit taking him along to the grocery store!
I've tried to excuse a lot because he is a nice person and I hate the thought of being alone after my son goes to college in four years. I guess that in my heart I do know what I need to do. But this may be my last chance to be with somebody. He won't change will he? I just can't make myself close this door. HELP!!!
A: Dear PJ,
Beggars can't be choosers. Maybe my words seem harsh, but you're putting yourself into the desperate category. You are 48 years old, you are not dead. You are young in this day and age. Most women don't even hit their peak until 40 or 45 years old. You have a long life to live. Right now, you're not living it. You're observing from a sofa. Your boyfriend does not seem like much of a life partner, in fact he seems like he drains the life from you. I would strongly recommend you end this relationship as quickly as possible. You can only determine your relationship's expiration date and from what it seems, you already know this is what has to be done. Imagine if you will, you marry this man. He is telling you his mother comes first and you second. Are you willing to be any man's second choice in life? The answer should be NO! You deserve to be the priority; his number one concern. If he leaves you questioning your worth in his life, he's the wrong guy for you. Should you say I do? What are you saying I do to? A life lived on a couch? You seem thirsty for adventure. Love is an adventure. No one knows where you may find it. But I do know this ... this man is not your love. However, there is love waiting for you. Now leave this loser behind so you can seek the real deal love affair.
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Email Diana your questions: firstname.lastname@example.org