To the one that my heart fell in love with last: My message to the baby of the family

Heather Delaney and her son. (Courtesy of the author)

To the one my mama heart fell in love with last,

My heart needed you. Right from the very beginning. Even before I realized it myself, actually. Long before I had thoughts of marriage, of motherhood, I just knew that my heart needed you.

You see, it wasn’t complete until you came along.

It was missing something; something that would not allow it to feel whole. It was missing a piece of it.

And then you came along. My last baby.

The puzzle? Complete.

You were the reason God kept me awake at night. Aching for more.

It’s not that I wasn’t content with the sweet babies that I was already blessed with, because I was so grateful. I am still so grateful.

But I just knew that there was a piece of me, not yet with me. And that there was a piece of them, not yet with them.

For you have not only completed me, and completed your father, but you’ve also completed them. Your siblings.

For while you all share so much (from the last bowl of ice cream, to the kindest hearts on the playground), you are so different from them. So very different, and in so many ways (and it goes beyond their love of vegetables, and your hatred for them. That's just the icing on the proverbial cake, if you will).

For you are the wild to their calm.

The brave to their cautious.

The bold to their shy.

You see, last child that my heart fell in love with,

they needed you, just as I needed you.

You make our parts whole.

The show is not complete until the final act. And you are ours. Our final act.

So while you will end the show as the great finale, I hope you are okay with always playing the role that you were born into; the very one that God saved you for: Our baby. Forever the baby. If that bothers you in the years to come, sweet last child of mine, I apologize. But such is life. I’ll forever be known as your mom; you’ll forever be known as my baby.

You see, God placed those titles on our hearts, and I hope that you will forever be in awe and in wonder of your role, as I am of mine. Because this role that I have been blessed with, that of your mom, and the mom of your brother and sister? It’s been my greatest gift. Ever. And I hope that your role as my forever baby will bring you equal joy.

So, to the one that my heart fell in love with last, please know that you were hoped for, you were prayed for, you were ached for.

You are what makes us, us.

And while you may be the one that my mama heart fell in love with last, please know that there was always a space for you there the whole, entire time.

Just waiting for you to fill it.