KFC offering $10K 'Internet Escape Pod' ahead of Cyber Monday

Why is this not surprising?

KFC, the fast-food chain that inexplicably released a romance novel on Mother’s Day, and debuted its own KFC-flavored nail polish in Hong Kong, is now offering one lucky fan the opportunity to purchase a $10,000 “Internet Escape Pod” ahead of Cyber Monday.

As the company attempted to explain in a press release, KFC’s Internet Escape Pod is basically a steel and foam igloo that blocks all Internet signals from “coming to or from your devices.” It’s also designed to “comfortably” fit four adults who have no interest in being bombarded by unwanted Cyber Monday emails, social media posts, and even the family members who couldn’t fit inside.

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"We've come up with several technologically advanced, creative experiences for our customers and fans this year. But even we feel the burden of technology during the holiday season,” explained George Felix, KFC’s director of advertising, in the press release. “So we decided to go in the opposite direction and create an anti-technology product, using technology, to help one lucky buyer literally escape the holiday chaos.”

Felix, however, glosses over the item’s pièce de résistance: a long-limbed likeness of Colonel Sanders lethargically draped over the top, where — metaphorically — he will remain, keeping the pod’s inhabitants shielded from the horrors of the digital age.

“This Cyber Monday … let Colonel Sanders' protective embrace take you back to a simpler time,” reads a description from the item’s product page at KFC Ltd.

The product page also notes that only a single Internet Escape Pod will be available, and “won’t be replenished when sold out.” The site further explains that, upon purchase, a special technician “with a gizmo” will be sent along to help install the pod, in order to make “every effort to ensure it fully blocks your device” from receiving Internet signals.

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KFC’s Escape Pod is just one of several items the chicken chain made available on its new KFC Ltd. online shopping platform, which launched in July. Another collection of merchandise will reportedly be made available in early December, when it will become even more apparent that the executives at KFC have lost all interest in selling us chicken anymore.