ENTERTAINMENT

Jennifer Lopez was consumed by anxiety, went 'crazy,' when realized marriage to Marc Anthony was over

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s marriage was one of Hollywood’s most publicized relationships. It seemed perfect.

But in her upcoming memoir “True Love,” the singer revealed the moment when she knew it was over.

“I remember the exact moment when everything changed… Anybody looking from the outside in would have thought my life was great… What people didn’t know was that life wasn’t that good. My relationship was falling apart and I was terrified,” Lopez wrote, according to People.

The 45-year-old wrote that she was getting her makeup done for a photo shoot when the moment hit her and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“I became consumed with anxiety. What was happening to me?” Lopez recalled. “I leaped from my chair and said to my dear manager, Benny Medina, 'Benny, something is happening! I feel like I'm going crazy.' My mom was there and she rushed to my side too.”

She continued: "It was one of those moments when you're so scared you can't even scream. In a blur of fear and panic, I looked at Benny and my mother and blurted out the words: 'I don't think I can be with Marc anymore.' Then I burst into tears."

Lopez and Anthony, 46, married in 2004 have twins, Max and Emme, now 6. They ended their relationship shortly after celebrating their seven-year anniversary.

The “American Idol” judge also opened up about other relationships, shockingly revealing that she felt abused in past relationships.

“I've never gotten a black eye or a busted lip, but I've felt abused in one way or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally," she wrote, never claiming any physical abuse. “I know how your soul feels to be diminished by the way your loved one is treating you. Every day that you don’t walk out that door, every day you accept things in your partner and in yourself, is a day that you’re saying it’s OK.”

Lopez told People that the memoir was not the book she planned to write, but it’s the one that came out.

“It started out as fan book, a diary of the years I went on tour,” she said. “But it turned into something else. As I started looking at things, it helped me face a lot. I would never go into specifics about my relationships, and I don’t. But the idea was that I learned something.”

"I call myself a W.I.P. – a work in progress. I'm still learning and growing every single day," she added.

Lopez said that Anthony is supportive of her and the new book.

“He read it and said, ‘Wow, I didn’t realize you were going through this whole journey,” she said. “We try to be supportive of each other. We feel that’s the best thing for our kids.”

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