Jessica Simpson Takes a Sultry Honeymoon Snapshot and Kanye West Compares Kim to a Dinosaur

(Instagram/Jessica Simpson)

Here's what everybody's gabbing about:

Despite being fully clothed, Jessica Simpson managed to achieve uncharted levels of sultriness in one of her latest Honeymoon snapshots (above). Our crack team of scientists is currently looking into this strange phenomenon.

Kanye West told GQ magazine that Kim Kardashian is "just as cool as a ******* fighter jet or dinosaur," presumably prompting 8-year-old boys everywhere to ask their parents for a Kim Kardashian action figure.

Despite only starring in one film ("Chef") in the last 12 months, Robert Downey's back-end earnings from "Iron Man 3" have landed him at the top of Forbes' highest paid actors list for the second year in a row. We've said it before and we'll say it again: Iron-Manning is a lucrative career choice, kids.

Miley Cyrus uploaded a topless photo to Instagram in which she's flashing her chest to an empty stretch of desert, probably because there were a few armadillos in New Mexico who hadn't seen her naked.

Australia's Northern Territory gifted Prince George with a baby crocodile for his first birthday, because what could go wrong when you pair a slow, chubby-cheeked baby with a fearsome sharp-toothed reptile? Apparently nothing, according to Australia.

Kendall Jenner posed topless on the cover of LOVE magazine (below). But she's wearing a large furry hood in the photo, which indicates that wherever she is, it's cold. Just not cold enough for a shirt.

Blake Lively launched her new lifestyle website Preserve on Monday, and we'll be damned if we can figure out what she's trying to accomplish. Enchilada recipes? Maybe? We don't know. Maybe you can figure it out.

Tim McGraw explained to ET Canada that he was only acting on instinct when he recently slapped a woman who was pawing at his jeans, because oddly, Tim McGraw's first instinct is to slap a woman who is pawing at his jeans.

E! Online is reporting that Jonah Hill was telling "hysterical" jokes while officiating the wedding between friends Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo, but hopefully he saved his racier material (i.e., jokes about his private parts) for later in the reception, when everybody is a little buzzed and more receptive to that sort of thing.

Jennifer Lopez, 44, would like us to know that she still looks pretty darn good in a skimpy bikini (below). Or maybe she just wants us to check her for moles. In any case, she's showing a whole lot of skin on Instagram.

Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel shared photos of his newborn daughter Jane on Monday night's "Jimmy Kimmel Live," meaning that it's only a matter of time before she gets her own nepotistic segment like his Cousin Sal or Uncle Frank.

Shakira has recently become the most "liked" celebrity on Facebook, boasting over 100 million fans across the globe. The most hated celebrity has yet to be determined, though it's still probably a good idea to start spreading some goodwill, guy from the ShamWow commercials.

And finally, Carl's Jr. and Hardee's are debuing their new BBQ Thickburger featuring brisket, barbecue sauce, fried onions, fried jalapenos and an angus meat patty. It's basically an entire barbecue feast on a bun, designed specifically for those of us without the wherewithal to hold a knife and fork.