Here's everything worth reading about:
Sofia Vergara modeled a leopard-print bikini in her new ad campaign for Kmart, but it's about as erotic as you'd imagine for an ad campaign from Kmart.
Taylor Swift showed off her endless legs Thursday — and she's denying the latest rumors about who she's dating these days.
As the result of an accident during the 2009 Tony Awards, Bret Michaels suffered a nearly fatal brain hemorrhage. Michaels explained how that changed his life when we recently caught up with the singer (and "Celebrity Apprentice" winner) at the Hard Rock Cafe NYC. Check out the video above for his surprising remarks. And there was also a weirdly unbelievable moment during the same interview, in the video below.
Meanwhile, her father, apparently still bitter over his arrest, joked to a NYC cop that "there's only one crime worse in New York that riding a bike the wrong way down a street, and that's terrorism."
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West aren't marrying in Paris — as was previously thought — but somewhere in Florence, Italy, instead. Doesn't really matter. You're still not invited.
Jay Z and Beyonce have responded to the Solange elevator attack in the least interesting or informative way possible: "There has been a great deal of speculation about what triggered the unfortunate incident. But the most important thing is that our family has worked through it."
Amanda Bynes posted a picture of herself and her sister on Twitter Thursday, presumably as proof that she's looking somewhat normal these days.
Thursday at Cannes, Blake Lively wore one of those optical-illusiony, waist-minimizing Chanel dresses that famous women with already-tiny waists are so fond of wearing these days.
Justin Bieber's latest lawsuit is convoluted, but here's the gist: A photographer is suing because Bieber's bodyguard allegedy chased him into a Subway restaurant and roughed him up. Eat fresh!
"Edge of Tomorrow" actress Emily Blunt told Jimmy Kimmel that she took co-star Tom Cruise to a "burlesque … sex club" for Matt Damon's birthday party. But he was in "Eyes Wide Shut," so we're guessing it didn't faze him:
At Thursday's Clippers game against the Oklahoma City Thunder, Rihanna wore a tiny pink wig instead of the larger brunette wigs she usually wears.
Cara Delevingne's pet bunny has already amassed around 50,000 followers on his Instagram account, mostly because he's just so darn cute, but also because people have relegated themselves to a world where bunnies get their own Instagram accounts.
Steve Wynn, the man behind Wynn Resorts, has paid more that $28 million for a 7-foot Popeye statue which he'll put on display at one of his casinos. Which casino has yet to be determined, but it's probably the casino that will soon be known as "the one with the Popeye statue."
Helena Bonham Carter told People magazine that Prince William once turned down the offer to be godfather to her and Tim Burton's child, presumably because William didn't think he owned a the kind of whimsically macabre outfit that would have been required for the Baptism.
Playboy magazine has already named Kennedy Summers as 2014's Playmate of the Year, probably because they realized they'd never find another woman with a more Playmate-ish name than Kennedy Summers.
Blake Shelton admitted that he's not such a fan of wife MIranda Lambert's three cats — or cats in general — because they're "sneaky." And that's how Blake Shelton pissed off the internet.
Country artist Kenny Rogers revealed that he had a procedure to remove skin cancer from his face on Wednesday. (He may be the Gambler, sure, but he wisely won't gamble with his life.)
Kendall Jenner Instagrammed a photo where she's showcasing a healthy amount of sideboob, with a message reading, "a little side boob never hurt anybody." But she's forgetting about the fabric industry, who has to eat the cost of all that sideboob fabric she shuns.
And finally, Chipotle is going to start printing short stories from notable authors on their cups and bags, which will undoubtedly come in handy when you're in the bathroom after eating a large meal at Chipotle.