Here's what we're talking about today:
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have announced that they are "consciously uncoupling," but in human terms, that means they're probably getting a divorce. (Somewhere, Jay Z and Beyonce are torn about how to handle their Thanksgiving invites.)
And in this video from TMZ, Chris Martin was probably taking a dig at Gwyneth when he named "She's So Cold" as his favorite Rolling Stones song.
It doesn't quite feel like spring in NYC yet, but that didn't stop Kim Kardashian from wearing a see-through gown for her appearance on "Late Night With Seth Meyers." After all, what's the point of wearing clothing if the audience can't see your underwear?
Rap artist Riff Raff (formerly known as MTV Riff Raff) is basically in love with Katy Perry after the two went on a date (?) in Miami last week. And if you don't remember Riff Raff from MTV's "From G's to Gents," just picture James Franco from "Spring Breakers," but crazier. Or watch this:
"Captain America" star Chris Evans told Variety that he's taking some time off from acting to direct. Watch out, Martin Scorsese! (Just kidding, Scorsese. You don't have anything to worry about here.)
Kevin Connolly broke his leg during the filming of this upcoming "Entourage" movie that's going to be just God-awful.
"Big Bang Theory" actress Kaley Cuoco got a neck tattoo reading "XII XXXI XIII," which translates to 12-31-13 — the date she married husband Ryan Sweeting. Fortunately, she left some room on her neck to presumably document the date of their eventual divorce should that ever happen.
Sean Combs (the rapper formerly Diddy, P. Diddy and Puff Daddy) has decided to return to his roots. But don't get too excited, because that doesn't mean he'll be producing another genre-changing artist like the Notorious B.I.G. — he'll merely be changing his name back to Puff Daddy. For the time being.
A source told PEOPLE.com that Kate Hudson and fiance Matthew Bellamy of Muse "have been on the rocks for some time." In other words, not-Gwyneth and not-Chris Martin will probably be breaking up soon.
Nabisco has debuted bacon-flavored Ritz crackers. But seeing as a box of Ritz costs around four bucks, it's probably cheaper to just buy real bacon, no?
Kevin Spacey is going to be portraying the portly world leader Winston Churchill in an upcoming biopic. Luckily, he can afford both bacon-flavored Ritz crackers and real bacon.
Mick Jagger's recently deceased girlfriend L'Wren Scott was laid to rest at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery on Tuesday.
Jessica Biel celebrated her 32nd birthday in the Barbados with Justin Timberlake, where (surprise) she spent most of her time in a skimpy bikini.
Universal released some footage from their upcoming "Fifty Shades of Grey" film at CinemaCon on Tuesday, but it featured absolutely none of the crazy sex that fans want and expect.
Taylor Swift was granted a three-year restraining order against Timothy Sweet, a crazed fan who previously threatened to "kill any man who gets in the way" of their love.
Tuesday on Instagram, Swift also revealed that she's totally into watercolors, her subject of choice being flowers. She's just like us, when we were 7!
Bradley Cooper is rumored to be replacing Harrison Ford as the lead in any upcoming "Indiana Jones" flicks, which is surprising, because why the heck are they making more "Indiana Jones" flicks after that last one with the skulls and the ants?
Selena Gomez, too, announced one of her new projects on Instagram, but she's being very secretive about it. From what we can tell, it has something to do with showing us her butt.
The Dutch beer company Bavaria has released a shameless new commercial that envisions Marilyn Monroe, Kurt Cobain, John Lennon, Elvis, Bruce Lee and Tupac as alive and well, living in beer-fueled bliss on a secret dead-celebrity island:
That creepy clown who's been wandering around the darkened streets of Staten Island is probably just a marketing stunt for an upcoming horror movie, presumably about seeing creepy clowns wandering around the darkened streets of Staten Island.
Johnny Cash's son says that there's four or five never-before-heard Johnny Cash albums to be released, despite his being dead for over 10 years.
And finally, a burrito vending machine as opened at the University of Southern California. Because in a place that's as close to the Mexican border as you can get, what people really need is sub-par Mexican food from an automated streetside robot.