Snooki and her boyfriend Jianna (X17 Online)
This week Snooki's boyfriend got upset when Snooki acted like Snooki: while dancing at a club she lifted her dress and flashed her "kooka" to the crowd.
When last we saw Team Meatball, Snooki was blowing into a breathalyzer after plowing the Fiat into a cop car. Good news: she passed! Bad news: the cops took her and Deena to jail anyway. But pretty soon the boys show up at Corpo di Polizia Municipale to spring them, and all Snooki has to do is pay a fine and surrender her license, which sounds like good news for everyone, not least the pedestrians of Florence.
Jionni's coming! Snooki's boyfriend, who no one likes because he gets so mad at Snooki — except for Mike, who doesn't like him because he's in an imaginary relationship with Snooki — is coming to Italy. Jenni's boyfriend, Roger, can't make it because of work. Jenni's miserable, but fortunately the girls have the answer: drinking! Though, to be fair, that's their answer to most problems.
Meanwhile, the guys hit a different club to do that weird spastic thing they do on the dance floor. Mike the charmer notices the promising ratio of "hot dog buns and hot dogs" and figures he'll have no problem finding a girl to bring home.
Snooki stays home to talk on the phone to Jionni, when who should appear but Mike's little friend with the low self-esteem, Twin Brittany. Snooki decides to play a prank on Mike by putting her in his bed. Didn't the boys play this "prank" a few weeks ago? Snooki thinks for sure that Mike will be bringing another girl home, and won't he be embarrassed to suddenly have two girls in his bedroom! Wait, what? So of course he does bring another girl home, but upon seeing Brittany undressing and climbing into bed, he sends away the girl who might have sex with him in favor of the girl who's practically already having sex with him. These people are terrible at pranks.
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Finally, Jionni's here! And he's surprisingly normal looking. Something doesn't match up here. But Snooki is deeply in love with him. "Jionni is like my crocodilly, but alive," she says, referring to her stuffed crocodile toy. Reminder: she's 23. She marches Jionni past all the roomies — no house tour for Jionni — straight into the Smush Room.
Crazy Mike wastes no time starting drama, telling Vinny that Jionni is "very curious" about him. "I think he knows," Mike says, of his did-they-or-didn't-they encounter with Snooki. He's going to keep his eye on Jionni in case something goes down. Watch out, walls!
Soon it's time for everyone to hit the town, and Snooki's got a special outfit she picked out to wear for Jionni. It's a hot pink, leopard spotted . . . dress? It doesn't seem to consist of enough fabric to meet the definition of a dress, though. Ronnie says it best: "It really doesn't even come below her kooka at all."
In the cab and at the club, guess who's still running his mouth about how Jionni better not mess with him? Apparently, Mike's gotten into karate, and Vinny says that since his fight with Ronnie, "he thinks he has to have his guard up all the time. And by 'his guard,' I mean 'his feet.'" Jenni knows Mike is full of it, too. "I can't wait for Mike to kick in the air, slip on a banana and break his ankle," she says.
As Mike is fantasizing about his non-existent feud with Jionni, Jionni is busy professing his undying love for Snooki. "I've never loved something so much in my entire life," he tells her. "Me and Jionni, we're going to have guido babies. I know it," Snooki says. "I can't wait to pop those suckers out. They're going to be so ****ing cute and tan."
But things don't go quite as smoothly as they get to the next club, and Snooki starts dancing and pulling up her dress, showing everyone her vagina. Jionni is mortified, telling her she's "dancing like a ****ing whore" and stomping off. Snooki is wasted and tries to follow him down the cobblestone streets in her heels, followed by Jenni, and soon everyone is in the street, listening to Snooki hysterically screaming. "Where's my boyfriend?! Where's he going?!" He's going away from you, far far away from you, Snooki.
Jenni tries to tell her she's acting like a . . . well, let's just say "jerk," but Snooki doesn't want to hear it. She says she's trying to give Snooki a reality check, but Snooki tells Jenni she hates her and doesn't want to be anywhere near her.
"Look, I get it. She's drunk. She yelled at me. I'm going to put that aside for the next 20-30 minutes, and I just need to find this kid for my best friend," Jenni says. Selfless friend or martyr? You make the call.
But it's Ronnie who catches up to Jionni, who says he can't stay with Snooki if she's going to act like that.
They pour Snooki into a cab and take her home, sobbing. "Jionni, the fact that you're getting upset that Nicole did something a little skanky is, like, ridiculous," Vinny says of Jionni's reaction. So, that means he's on Snooki's side, right?
Jionni finally comes back to the house to get his stuff and leave. He doesn't want anything to do with Snooki, who's crying and saying she hates him and he's "so mean."
"I don't need a girl to lift up her skirt on stage. Get out of here," he says, calmly.
The upside to the big fight? Sammi finally gets what the roommates go through when she and Ronnie fight, and she apologizes to them.
In the end, Jionni flew for almost a whole day, only to leave in six hours, after Snooki did something very Snooki-like. "On the surface, Jionni looks like a nice kid. But at the end of the day, that kid was a ****ing wankster," Mike says.
Could this be the end of Jionni? Would he really be so cruel as to deprive us of seeing him pummel Mike and his pretend-karate? Let's hope not. Sweep the leg, Jionni!
—Christine Lusey, PopNews Wire
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