Let's face it, Sarah Jessica Parker and her "Sex and the City" alter ego, Carrie Bradshaw, have become the face of modern style. Sophisticated yet daring. Label conscious but able to mix in vintage gems. However SJP wasn't born chic. As a young actress, just making her way through the land mine of red carpet couture, Sarah triggered a few fashion bombs.
Among them, this head-to-toe train wreck, which included (appropriately enough) train conductor-striped denim overalls, an oversized man's jacket, overly ambitious button-and-necklace accessories, and, last but not least, the inexplicable flower-adorned hat. Shades of plants on her head at movie premiers to come... yet somehow these days it seems glamorous, while here she just looks dorky.
But such is the problem with images of fashion trends past. We're sure these stars were hoping the photo negatives documenting their fashion lows had been destroyed. Luckily for us, they were not, and we can sit, with a pint of ice cream and a feeling of smug superiority in our timeless gap jeans and white t-shirts, and bask in these stars' dorkiest looks.
Michael Jackson: Heinous Headband
Michael Jackson has had a lot of bad (ja-mon) looks over the years... absurd military chic, the surgical masks, you know the drill. But this jogging-suit-and-'fro-denting headband gave the Dork of Pop a unique look. We can only hope that he out-ran Leif Garrett (we're pretty sure that's him in the yellow short-shorts).
Justin Timberlake: Frosted Tips
Chi-chi-chi-chia. Ju-ju-ju-Justin. Let's face it. None of us, not a single one, ever dreamed that we'd actually think Justin Timberlake was cool back when he was a nerdy teen wearing oversized suits and frosting his tips in the *NYSNC days. And yet now we stay up late every time he hosts "SNL."
Melissa Gilbert and Rob Lowe: Sporting Looks
Sadly, Rob Lowe had not just been refereeing a football game when this photo was snapped. And, no, Melissa Gilbert was not prepping for an exercise video shoot. The two were bowling in Santa Monica on a Saturday night in 1982. Nothing says young '80s love like bandannas and satin.
Will Smith: Backpack Chic
Will Smith looks like a tourist who got lost on the lot with his Bermuda shorts, tucked-in t-shirt, Gilligan hat, granny glasses, white scrunchy socks, and back pack. There's no need to argue... we just don't understand this outfit.
Melissa Joan Hart: Pattern Clash
We understand that it's OK to mix patterns nowadays, but Melissa Joan Hart was sporting some colors and shapes that shouldn't have been seen on their own, let alone married to others. Now that she has that bikini-ready body, maybe she can make up for this past fashion travesty.
Ricky Martin: Lumberjack Pop
OK, he was a "rock star," so as creepy as the tight red spandex pants are on a kid, we're willing to let those go. What we don't get are the yellow lumberjack jacket and produce bag he's wearing on his hip.
Jodie Foster: WrestleMania
You would think that Jodie Foster had just come from some junior high soccer game, but she is, in fact, sporting this orange, white, and black tank/mock turtleneck ensemble to the 46th Academy Awards. Thank goodness her short and sassy Dorothy Hamill wedge is flawlessly holding its shape.
Britney Spears: Denim Overload
We are eternally grateful that wearing matching acid-wash denim tops and bottoms has gone out of fashion, but a far-more-innocent Britney sure did shine in the look back in the "Mickey Mouse Club" days. Of course, the "Seinfeld"-esque puffy shirt adds to her flair.
Nick Nolte: Newsboy No-No
As if the newsboy hat wasn't bad enough, Nick Nolte had to push his corduroy jacket up past his elbows to reveal the full effect of his white long-sleeve t-shirt below.
Corey Feldman: Mom Jeans
Corey Feldman has had as many fashion highs and lows as his one-time friend Michael Jackson, but the rainbow t-shirt, sweatshirt-sleeved baseball jacket, and mom jeans are enough to make a boy spit up his hot dog.
Lee Majors: Six-Million-Dollar Leisure Suit
Nothing says '70s heartthrob like a leisure suit and red turtleneck sweater. What could make this outfit better? A hood ornament-like belt buckle and understated gold bracelet. A Five Million Dollar man could never have pulled it off.
Demi Moore: Suspended Fashion Sense
We have one simple question: If Ashton Kutcher hadn't been in diapers when Demi Moore was sporting this look, would he still have fallen for this dorky beauty in the baggy pants, suspenders, and oversized fedora? It seems unlikely.
Tori Spelling: Cotton Candy Collision
No, this is not a costume party, and Tori didn't intentionally dress like a carnival cone of cotton candy. No wonder clothes became so important to her... if we were dressed like this as children, we'd want to make sure it never happened to us again.
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